Did I over-react about this? Who is in the wrong?

[JustYourTypicalMum83]

So I’ve been in the talking stages with somebody for a couple of months now, it’s heading towards becoming an official thing when we are both ready (both have had bad relationships in the past but we really like each other etc).

I noticed a couple of things over the past couple of days that started to bug me and this morning I kind of went off on one and sent her a good morning message basically accusing her of playing games. It basically consisted of her not responding to the things I had tagged her in on social media and I also noticed that she was liking a lot of posts in a group we are in (new members introducing themselves sort of things but she’s never commented or sent them messages because she’s showed me).

It massively backfired and she ended up losing it with me saying that the reason she hadn’t replied to the posts I tagged her in is because I sent them on multiple social media outlets (like Instagram, TikTok, etc) and she hasn’t had time to check them all because her child has been off school most of the week (which I knew about anyway) and then she showed me a screenshot of all the unread notifications she had from other people because of how busy she has been.

She also said that she didn’t appreciate the way I went around it and if I had an issue then to address it the correct way rather than just accusing, but I still don’t think I’ve over reacted or anything like that.

Who is in the wrong here?

A poster who is waving huge red flags for controlling and abusive behaviour is having a hard time? Sure.

@itmustbemyage

'safe'

??

Do be serious! The OP is feeling a bit ignored & neglected. She's not doing anything a lot of people don't do.

she's hardly bloody a danger to anyone.

Best wishes, OP. The way you've dealt with the feedback really shows that you'll be fine once you have a chance to work on your insecurity, which it seems you accept you need to do.

She can be controlling and also be having a hard time. Being an asshole to people who are controlling doesn’t make you any better.

@JustYourTypicalMum83

you seem to have attracted some nasty posts. There are a bunch of people just running around kicking people when they're down.

it's ok to feel ignored & neglected, but it's better to talk to your partner about it then 'go off on one'. In real life, it's quite usual to be hurt if your partner is engaging with everyone except you.

but definitely 'share' fewer things online until you better gushed how much the recipient enjoys getting & when it tips into 'oh fuck STOP IT'

I wish you well getting things sorted with her (she may regain some perspective) or with your next relationship.

Gushed?? Bloody phone! It's well mangled that!!

I think I said 'until you better establish'

??

Well done OP for taking it on the chin. Someone who is prepared to apologise and admit they were wrong is much more forgivable tha someone who has to be right.

Well op,I think it's fair to say that most think you wbu.

it does come across that you are less busy and are spending a lot of time checking what she's up to.

you should consider some counselling before taking this any further,if you show her you realise you were in the wrong and are taking steps to avoid a repetition she may be gracious and accept your apology and continue to move forward.

good luck.🌈

Best of luck OP.

You are very young and doing work on your issues now, will likely save you decades of pain.

Well done @JustYourTypicalMum83 for taking it all on board. It might not feel like it now, but it might turn out to be a valuable lesson for the future!

All the best.

Ffs. How old are you? 🙄