Did I over-react about this? Who is in the wrong?

[JustYourTypicalMum83]

So I’ve been in the talking stages with somebody for a couple of months now, it’s heading towards becoming an official thing when we are both ready (both have had bad relationships in the past but we really like each other etc).

I noticed a couple of things over the past couple of days that started to bug me and this morning I kind of went off on one and sent her a good morning message basically accusing her of playing games. It basically consisted of her not responding to the things I had tagged her in on social media and I also noticed that she was liking a lot of posts in a group we are in (new members introducing themselves sort of things but she’s never commented or sent them messages because she’s showed me).

It massively backfired and she ended up losing it with me saying that the reason she hadn’t replied to the posts I tagged her in is because I sent them on multiple social media outlets (like Instagram, TikTok, etc) and she hasn’t had time to check them all because her child has been off school most of the week (which I knew about anyway) and then she showed me a screenshot of all the unread notifications she had from other people because of how busy she has been.

She also said that she didn’t appreciate the way I went around it and if I had an issue then to address it the correct way rather than just accusing, but I still don’t think I’ve over reacted or anything like that.

Who is in the wrong here?

Blatantly so

Goodness, how old are you-12?

It sounds like awful behaviour on your part. Not sure what you can do about it but I think this relationship is a non starter.

YABU and a walking red flag 🚩

You are acting like an absolute loon and if I were her I'd run a mile at the first opportunity.

You sound really suffocating OP. I really don't think you're ready for a relationship at the moment.

Why does it matter whether she reply's to things you tag her in? Why does it matter that she's liked other peoples messages? How on earth have these two things even registered in your mind as linked?

I think you need to back off, and work on yourself for a bit until you're ready to enter a new relationship without the baggage from your old one.

I personally don't think you are ready for a relationship yet. This all sounds incredibly suffocating and quite ridiculous imo.

Yous aren't even at the label stage and your tagging her in multiple posts on several different social media platforms then expecting an immediate response. This to me shows your either very full on or craving her constant attention, which isn't healthy. Especially since your checking other people's posts that she's "had time to comment on".

You also don't seem very considerate about her busy week or the fact her child has been ill. This all seems to be very much about you and getting your unreasonable needs met immediately.

Your clearly deflecting your issues and what happened with your ex onto her and that isnt fair at all. If I was her I'd probably run for the hills. It's important to note that children are also involved here they don't need this or to be put third to you and your excessive social media posts.

No one else is looking and thinking you're a tossef OP because she's replying to/liking some posts but not yours. Literally no one else on this planet cares and you need to care a little less about inane shit like this too!!

Are you 10, if you're not act like a bloody grown up. I'd be embarrassed even posting this, have you ever thought of turning your phone off and getting a life in the really world 🙄.

Yeah you’re overreacting
How is it when you’re together? Do you like seeing her? Does she make you happy! Focus on the real stuff

You, 100%. I’m sure you both have your own life, having a go at someone as they don’t respond to something on social media is ridiculous

GOOD FOR FUCKING HER.

Time to be single for a while, OP.

If anyone went off at one at me over me not responding to shite on social media they'd be dumped and blocked faster than you can say 'controlling arse'.

"... this morning I kind of went off on one and sent her a good morning message basically accusing her of playing games."
How you can write this and not realise that you are 100% in the wrong is beyond me.

And it doesn't look "a bit immature", it looks a lot controlling / suffocating / stalkerish. Stop blaming your shit behaviour on your last relationship and admit to yourself that you have seriously overstepped the mark (everyone else already knows it).

You really don't sound as if you are ready for another relationship, and should sort yourself out before dipping a toe back in the water.

How old are you?

You sound like a nightmare. Expect to be binned off anytime

Are you 14?! If I had a potential partner mithering me about not liking stuff on social media I’d rethink the whole relationship.

Being tagged all the time would drive me insane and would be reason enough for me to end a relationship. Add in your anger about a lack of response and I’d be blocking you too.

All of your behaviour is suffocating, controlling and awful.

I’ve just turned 25, she’s a little bit older than me and nearly 30 in a couple of months…

You’re coming across as a belligerent teen, I think you need to address the hold social media has over you and why you feel she’s needs to respond to your attention seeking “likes”

You sound unhinged and controlling. I’d run for the hills. Please work on yourself before even considering pursuing a relationship. Jesus.

Are you 12?

I'm sorry but you are wrong and I'm baffled that you think this behaviour is OK? I see people say reverse and I've never said it but this must be as i can't believe for second you would think this is OK?

My advice is to get rid of social media I know people like you who feel they need likes and comments to validate themselves and to feel wanted, needed or even for attention. You are going to lose this person if this continues as its controlling behaviour.

Grow up OP. Never punish your future with your past. Either knock it off or spend some time alone working on yourself before having another relationship.

You're going to get well dumped the way you're going on

OP I mean this in the kindness way possible but I don’t think you are ready for a relationship.
You should focus on self healing and therapy to overcome the anxieties and pain your ex has caused you.
Your DP has not done anything wrong and you did overreact, your relationship is still very new and you sound quite intense, if you are both happy to continue the relationship then it might be better to take a few steps back.