Did I over-react about this? Who is in the wrong?

[JustYourTypicalMum83]

So I’ve been in the talking stages with somebody for a couple of months now, it’s heading towards becoming an official thing when we are both ready (both have had bad relationships in the past but we really like each other etc).

I noticed a couple of things over the past couple of days that started to bug me and this morning I kind of went off on one and sent her a good morning message basically accusing her of playing games. It basically consisted of her not responding to the things I had tagged her in on social media and I also noticed that she was liking a lot of posts in a group we are in (new members introducing themselves sort of things but she’s never commented or sent them messages because she’s showed me).

It massively backfired and she ended up losing it with me saying that the reason she hadn’t replied to the posts I tagged her in is because I sent them on multiple social media outlets (like Instagram, TikTok, etc) and she hasn’t had time to check them all because her child has been off school most of the week (which I knew about anyway) and then she showed me a screenshot of all the unread notifications she had from other people because of how busy she has been.

She also said that she didn’t appreciate the way I went around it and if I had an issue then to address it the correct way rather than just accusing, but I still don’t think I’ve over reacted or anything like that.

Who is in the wrong here?

O...M...G you are far too much like hard work. If l was her, I'd run a mile waving the red flags

So you expect to be her top priority already and you are jealous and accusing when she likes someone else’s post before responding to all of the many posts you have tagged her in.

Good grief have a stern word with yourself. If I were her I’d be very put off.

Thank you everyone for your replies - as harsh as they were I couldn’t exactly disagree with some of them and I have now apologised to her but she said she wants to talk to me tonight when she finishes work so I guess I’ll just have to see how that goes and if she still wants to continue things with me or not

I go onto social media for escapism - if I wanted to talk to you, or someone else I would.
I don’t want 50 tags.
You sound way OTT

You’re not even a couple and you’re trying to control her. Please stop this. Leave her alone and let her find someone who’s good for her.

you’re trying to force something here and it’s utterly unacceptable and wrong

I hope to fuck that she sees this thread and dumps you. This is a car crash relationship and she deserves better.

If she does dump you have the decency and self respect to walk away. Don’t go begging her for forgiveness. Unfortunately you’ve shown her your true colours now.

Learn, improve and move on with grace.

FFS, stop tagging people in stupid shit they don't care about. You sound like a nightmare.

Get off social media because you can't handle it, and get some therapy to work through your issues.

If you haven't put a label on it yet, why are you trying to live your relationship in public on social media?

It's so weird and suffocating. And probably the last thing she needs if she's dealing with an ex and coparenting arrangements.

First time in a long time I've seen a unanimous YABU!
Being cheated on isn't an excuse for being this controlling. You owe her a massive apology, and you absolutely aren't ready for a relationship If this is how you behave. She has a child, She has a life outside of you. You aren't even official yet and you're acting appallingly. You have a lot of growing up to do.

I feel suffocated just reading this. I would dump you.

You’re not “immature” your being controlling and abusive.

I hate public demands for attention, like writing comments with tags on social media are. Why do you need your communications with your girlfriend to have an audience? So un-genuine.

My advice to your not-yet-girlfriend would be to run a mile from you.

@Itsthewhitehat No need to be spiteful!!

@JustYourTypicalMum83 There are SO many perfect people on here, who never did anything daft or had a knee jerk reaction in a new relationship, because of a past relationship. 🙄🙄

you felt ignored & hurt, it really doesn't matter why. Obviously just saying that ont want more online 'stuff'to her woukd have been better, BUT I'm not fond of her answer either. You're both as much to blame.

you might want to think about how much you send to her. I don't do face book/Twitter/insta/next door etc etc because Mumsnet takes up too much of my time as it is (I know it's totally different, I just don't want more online 'stuff') my very close friend and knows this, and she means well. and individually I do like the stuff she sends, I just wish she'd be a bit more selective. It's not that I dislike the contents, it's because I don't want to be swamped with stuff, but she's like a swamping monster!!

You are obsessively watching what she’s responding to online and you think that justified because of a previous relationship, that’s one small step away from stalking which is a criminal offence. I hope she runs a mile and and keeps herself safe from you.

Obviously I can only speak for myself, but cannot STAND people forwarding every stupid email/meme to me, and I can’t do Facebook because of it. Anyway, no harsh words from me, the poll results say it all, and hopefully you’ll calm down a bit with the next person you fancy. x

Unless you are 13 then no one should be arguing over social media!
How embarrassing!

If this is a glimpse of your true personality then I’d tell her to run for the hills.

Wow - if I were her I would be heading for the hills!! Honestly, you are placing way too much emphasis on SM - maybe she is more interested in what is happening in real life. You sound like a teen. If I tag someone in on a post (rare) I couldn't care less if they respond or not, and being cheated on is not an excuse for this sort of behaviour.

She has a child. You are acting like a child. If she's got any sense she will call it a day here. She's a Mum and should have way more important things to do than worry about checking what things you've tagged her in so she can reply and boost your ego. She needs a grown up for a partner not an extra dependant. You are definitely the unreasonable one.

People who place so much store in social media "likes" must have very small and limited horizons.

You

I'd disengage from you if I were in her shoes. You're clearly overly controlling and demanding.

Yeah she did break things off with me so I probably won’t be replying on this thread anymore but thanks to everyone who posted, she said I need to work on my issues from my past relationship before approaching anyone else which seeing as so many people have said the same on here, must be true

thank you everyone take care

This is batcrap. Seriously, you sound like a school girl who needs to grow up. Controlling isn't attractive and your past relationship issues is not her fault nor an excuse for you to act so immaturely. Stay away from the coffee

Not really necessary considering the OP has accepted the comments, said they are leaving the thread, and also just been dumped. Being so unpleasant to a stranger on the internet who’s having a hard time shows you aren’t perfect either.