My friend has got so boring

Bpdqueen · 2022-12-07T22:43:59+00:00

We've been friends for about 10 years where not best friends but where pretty close. A few months ago she got a new puppy and it's all she ever talks about. She sends me photos of him all the time and the way she talks about him if you didn't know it was a dog you would think she was talking about a baby. I'm not really an animal person and iv been trying to act interested but I don't think I can do it much longer. Aibu to tell her she's being boring and that I'm not interested about every little thing her dog does.

SamanthaVimes · 07/12/2022 22:46

I mean I probably wouldn’t word it like that when you speak to her but I think you can find a tactful way to let her know you’re not interested in the dog then that’s ok

Pinkbonbon · 07/12/2022 22:49

I wouldn't phrase it like that xD

Just stop acting interested when she talks about ìt. Throw in the odd 'I'm not really a dog person. But good luck eith that haha'.

Respond positively and cheerfuly to conversations that don't revolve around the dog. When she goes back to talking about it, ushive short replies and follow up with a question about a different topic. Hopefully she'll get the hint.

Omgmykidsneversleep · 07/12/2022 22:49

It's a bit like when children come along. You are responsible for something else other than yourself and you rely on good friends being understanding and happy for you. It's one of those things, she's probably doting on it and doesn't realise how it comes across. Why don't you get a puppy too? You can bond with your friend over having dogs and the dog will keep you busy and good company?

Pinkbonbon · 07/12/2022 22:51

Omgmykidsneversleep · 07/12/2022 22:49

It's a bit like when children come along. You are responsible for something else other than yourself and you rely on good friends being understanding and happy for you. It's one of those things, she's probably doting on it and doesn't realise how it comes across. Why don't you get a puppy too? You can bond with your friend over having dogs and the dog will keep you busy and good company?

Lol

'I'm not really an animal person'
'Get a puppy!'

Umm...might not be the wisest move there lol.

Original poster

Bpdqueen · 07/12/2022 22:53

I think I need to think of a nicer way to word it and try harder to redirect the conversation. @Omgmykidsneversleep I'm not getting a puppy I have no interest in dogs

OP posts:

Omgmykidsneversleep · 07/12/2022 22:54

Pinkbonbon · 07/12/2022 22:51

Lol

'I'm not really an animal person'
'Get a puppy!'

Umm...might not be the wisest move there lol.

Show quote history

Yeah yeah whatever 🙄

stopthebarking · 07/12/2022 22:54

You don't have to be interested in the dog, but if you tell her you're not interested, she probably won't respond well. Are you so certain that your own conversation is that interesting to her?

The pup is still young, so her obsession is probably only temporary. She'll have less to say about it as the dog grows and settles into adulthood.

The best course of action would be to introduce topics you do find interesting, engage with her briefly about her do, then change the subject again, politely.

Honper · 07/12/2022 22:54

I agree just be polite and change the subject.

All pets are boring, dogs especially so because they are also annoying, but there must be other things you can chat about with her. So just chat about those things.

Don't tell her that the dog is boring though. She'll only get pissed off.

PeachyMama · 07/12/2022 22:56

To be fair I have a 3 month old baby and when I see my closest friend I feel like I bore her as all I talk about is him - I don't do it on purpose I do try not to - but as im sure any other mamas on here know in the early days with a baby you do little else as you have no time so I have nothing else to talk to her about 😂 maybe it's the same for your friend with her dog

Original poster

Bpdqueen · 07/12/2022 22:58

PeachyMama · 07/12/2022 22:56

To be fair I have a 3 month old baby and when I see my closest friend I feel like I bore her as all I talk about is him - I don't do it on purpose I do try not to - but as im sure any other mamas on here know in the early days with a baby you do little else as you have no time so I have nothing else to talk to her about 😂 maybe it's the same for your friend with her dog

But if it was a baby I wouldn't mind I love babies. It's just its a dog and she acts like it's a baby, she even puts on the baby voice when she's talking about him

OP posts:

Honper · 07/12/2022 22:58

I will say that it can take a while. I have one friend on a group chat I've been on for several years who puts a lot of photos of her cats on there along with commentaries about what they're doing. Like I say, fucking boring. I never respond and the others rarely do although we talk about plenty of other things. But she still does it. For. Years.

Wolfiefan · 07/12/2022 23:01

See baby talk would bore me to tears. Love to share puppy talk.

userxx · 07/12/2022 23:03

@Bpdqueen So as long as it's something you're interested in then it's all good ? That's not what friendships are about.

AllOfThemWitches · 07/12/2022 23:04

That does sound dull, people banging on about their kids is dull too. I have to stop myself and think 'does my colleague REALLY need to see my kid's funny school photo?' It's always no.

summergone · 07/12/2022 23:07

I take it she doesn't have kids ? Maybe the puppy is bringing out her maternal instinct and she just feels compelled to talk about him /her 🤔

LizzieW1969 · 07/12/2022 23:08

She will stop going on about her puppy once it’s no longer a puppy, I expect. I was like that when my cats were kittens, posted lots of photos of them on Facebook. There was so much less to say about them once they became cats.

I used to talk too much about my 3 DDs as well. Now when I go out with friends it’s nice to talk about something else! (They are 13 and 10 now and constantly backchat, so that does make a difference.🤣)

I think you should just tell her straight that you want to talk about other things, as you’re not into dogs. I’m used to the fact by now that not everyone likes cats.

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/12/2022 23:09

I have a number of close friends who are childless who are (in my view) somewhat over-invested in their cats and share more about than I would dream of sharing about my child.

I let it wash over me and tbh childless people are marginalised and othered enough by many people so I don’t begrudge them this and just let them crack on. No one ever died listening politely to someone talk about something that’s not interesting.

Original poster

Bpdqueen · 07/12/2022 23:10

userxx · 07/12/2022 23:03

@Bpdqueen So as long as it's something you're interested in then it's all good ? That's not what friendships are about.

I have no problem talking about the dog for short periods of time to see how he is ect but I would also like to talk about other things in her life and mine I don't think conversations with friends should just be focused on one subject for months

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AngelinaFibres · 07/12/2022 23:11

Dh and I are part of a walking group. Everyone in the group has a cat. We don't ; my husband cannot stand cats. They go on and on and on about their cats. I have never expressed the slightest interest . I hope it will stop soon.

Honper · 07/12/2022 23:11

Kids aren't pets though. I like hearing about people's families. I am fairly old and my friends' kids are up to all sorts as they are out and about in the world. Even when they were younger they were gearing up to be out and about in the world. People are interesting. But realistically a dog/cat/etc will have a fairly unremarkable life. These photos that come up on the group chat, it's literally just cats sitting on different bits of furniture. They aren't going to university or having ideas about society or getting jobs or falling in love. They're sitting on different chairs. I don't need to see that.

NosyNeighbour22 · 07/12/2022 23:11

My best friends doesn’t like dogs and I have 2, she always tries to be nice to my dogs when she sees but I don’t expect her to be very interested in them! We sometime have a joke about how much she ‘hates’ my dogs.
surely your friend already knows you’re not a dog person? When I sent my friend a picture of my new puppy she said “it looks like it stinks” which made me laugh a lot because the puppy did stink, I’m not offended by it because I’ve always known she doesn’t like dogs.

However when I had covid in lockdown She turned up at my house to walk them without me even having to ask her because she knew how important it was that they got out which was amazing if her. It sounds like you and your friend might just not be compatible!

Kanaloa · 07/12/2022 23:13

PeachyMama · 07/12/2022 22:56

To be fair I have a 3 month old baby and when I see my closest friend I feel like I bore her as all I talk about is him - I don't do it on purpose I do try not to - but as im sure any other mamas on here know in the early days with a baby you do little else as you have no time so I have nothing else to talk to her about 😂 maybe it's the same for your friend with her dog

Surely you still watch telly/keep up with the news/see the weather? There’s always things to talk about other than your kids. I have kids and would still find it so boring to only talk about them.

Original poster

Bpdqueen · 07/12/2022 23:13

She has grown up children and young grandchildren which I'm more then happy to hear about and how their getting on and what their up to but she seems to of lost the ability to talk about anything but this puppy

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Grimchmas · 07/12/2022 23:13

Those of who are more animal type of people feel the same when others talk about their babies, just FYI 😉

Give her a year, things will even back out again.

userxx · 07/12/2022 23:14

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/12/2022 23:09

I have a number of close friends who are childless who are (in my view) somewhat over-invested in their cats and share more about than I would dream of sharing about my child.

I let it wash over me and tbh childless people are marginalised and othered enough by many people so I don’t begrudge them this and just let them crack on. No one ever died listening politely to someone talk about something that’s not interesting.

I'll be honest, the only mad cat ladies I know are married with kids, the kids got older and less cuter than the cats 🤷‍♂️