Nativity disappointment why do teachers do it

[Bucketheadbucketbum]

Want to key stage 2 nativity today. It was 1 hour long! Approx 40 kids in it. Some children had multiple lines throughout the hour, on the stage for the bulk of the time, solo songs the works. Others had just one line and spent the rest of the time sitting to the side apart from group songs where they all stood up. I understand all parts cant be equal and it must be a nightmare to try and be fair but this was shockingly poorly distrubuted. Why would you do this as a teacher? So disappointing for the children and parents unless you happen to be one of the "stars" of the show.

Different teachers once.

And none of them believed you?

Do you think there’s a common factor here?

I always thought our old primary school did it fairly well, and were catering to individual child's needs, eg those less confident giving non speaking parts. Dd1 with fairly significant special needs yet an excellent speaking voice was often given main parts or narrator, yet other times taken to a classroom to sit out the noisy parts. Dd2, less confident, mostly had minor non speaking parts and I don't think she minded.

Where I think schools could improve is giving parents a heads up on their child's roles. So parents whose child is going to basically have no part but singing along with the chorus can avoid taking a day off work to watch this non event. Also if any child would actually like a bigger part their parents should let the teacher know, as sometimes these quieter children shine when given a chance.

I am sure some believed me that she did drama. I am not sure they believed me that she is confident on stage as she was so quiet at school. They treated me like a pushy parent.

That's so sad. Surely parents would want to come and hear their child singing? Are we going to end up with an audience consisting of Mary's Mum and the narrator's?

How could they possibly treat you like a pushy parent if you only ever spoke to them once, then didn’t ever question their poor judgement of your kid? What you’re saying is completely illogical.

Every musical has a few main parts, a few medium parts and a chorus. From the West End down to school shows. What were you expecting?

"The same favourites" some people are talking about generally refers to the talented performers. Sorry. There's a reason not every child is chosen to perform a solo.

I'm sure all of the kids got to sing a few songs and have fun. In Y2 my part in the Christmas play was to ring a little bell every time the main character walked on stage. My mum thought it was hilarious and I've made it into adulthood unscarred.

@antelopevalley and what if 5 other parents were in telling the teacher how suitable their child was for the part!?

Baby Jesus has a starting role for sure - even if he doesn’t appreciate it 😂

The best roles are The Innkeeper, The 3 Wise Men, The shepherds, the angels, the city people. All have a line or two. Mary and Joseph are usually given to the quieter (or non verbal) children of the class.

I really don’t get the parent insistence that their child is cast as Mary or Joseph.

My 5 year old GS is Joseph this year. Perfectly cast seeing as he’s non verbal and easily able to sit still for 30 mins.

Id prefer he had a line to say but that’s not possible.‘I’m looking forward to supporting him in his school Christmas concert.

He’s 5.He’ll be amazing 🤩

@NeverDropYourMooncup the school had a stage...

I'm still bitter from my primary school experiences - i was always picked to be an (out of site) narrator - i could be relied upon to learn lines but was too fat, tall and un-blond to be onstage.

My dc wanted roles and would really have benefitted from the experience (I never had a chance to do public speaking on stage until i was 21 and turns out i enjoy it and am good at it) but the popular, obnoxious kids are given 2 or 3 roles in the same play while others are just chorus. Not even on stage. Kids internalise that shit.

Yes, there are loads more important things to worry about, but this is just something free and easy to fix - it's not like parents ay based on performance. There should be a lot more fairness, it's not bloody Oscar bait.

I believe I was tricked into feeling I was unpresentable and unworthy of being seen and heard (at the same time) by this and my confidence was affected. I have learned to speak up and engage now but it was a barrier that I should never have had to overcome.

Obvs, I am not blaming all my issues in not being cast in the school play 30 years ago...but I won't pretend it wasn't a factor

You should think yourselves lucky you get to see your kids in a play at all 🥺 my son has done one nativity play since starting school. Just one in reception..then Covid came along and put a stop to it and his school never started them up again...same thing with other stuff like the summer fete!

I'd love to see him even just singing in the choir would be nice!!

@NosieRosie bet he will be brilliant and do you so proud, my son is non verbal at school and I love going to see him in his school nativity they do each year.

Being good at it at 21 doesn’t mean you would have enjoyed it age 9 though. It also doesn’t mean that you weren’t given any opportunity to develop those skills in school.

@NosieRosie Hope he has a brilliant night!

My son was the rear end of donkey number 2 in his year 2 nativity!!! He said nothing and was on stage for mere seconds (not that you could see him!) He LOVED it!! I was v proud!! Not all kids need to be Mary or Joseph! 😉

I apologised to the teacher for dd (5) missing a rehearsal due to ill health (she was part of the choir - so not like the star or anything) her reply - they were all awful anyway so it didn't matter - there was no charm, no smile, she was very disappointed with them - if you can't handle it don't do it.

I don't understand why they don't do a play/show with just their own class or two classes maximum rather than the whole of key stage two.

@Kokapetl , schools have SO much to fit into the end of this term. If they had to reserve the hall for two or three times as many performances as they already have they would be doing little else. They have to factor in dress rehearsal time as well as setting up and clearing away time for each of those performances.
They also wouldn't have the staffing (teachers, TAs or site staff) to run several evening performances. You can't run the evening sessions with just the staff of those two classes.

This is why teachers get incredibly frustrated by parents thinking they know what works better than they do. If it was easier and better to do it your way, we'd all be doing it. We don;t set out to make things as hard for us, for the kids and the parents as we can.

I agree with this. I have one child who LOVES any sort of performance so normally gets a 'main' role but another who couldn't think of anything worse but is happy to speak at assemblys/in church.

I think the problem is that while adults understand theses types of things are a lot of work, children don't and it is very difficult to watch your child upset if they're never 'picked' but would like to be.

I like that some PP have said their schools ask who would like to do what (ours doesn't), that way no one is forced to do something they don't like but the children who would like to speak/act get a chance.

So, on balance @Bucketheadbucketbum I do not think you are being unreasonable. It's not Hollywood so all children who would like a speaking part should be offered one at least once during their primary school career.

My heart won’t beat louder or quicker. I’ll be so proud of him. I’m sure you will be too 🥰 That’s all a parent/grandparent needs. To see our loved ones taking part and being seen as as a valuable part of a team.

Thats the most important part of a group activity. It’s a shame that some parents cannot understand what their children can.

Everyone involved in a stage production is as important as everyone else. Without the backstage performers there would be no show - fact!?

My DGS has been given a non speaking role - perfect for him! He is able to sit still for 20 minutes

Probably. But it was always the same kids that got the parts.
DD got pretty overlooked for everything.

Does your Dd/GD have a yearning to perform on stage? If so maybe you could enrol her into a local Am Dram group?

We shall never know. I never knew I could do it until I had to...if i'd been given the chance to do it earlier (it was never my decision not to), I might be a lot further on than I am now.

I have mentioned 2 of my children who are polar opposites and both NT, but I also have an autistic teenager who has made my heart burst just managing to be in a group performance - only time I've ever cried watching one of my children because I was so proud (previously they were so anxious they got upset and couldn't manage it). However, it's a bit unfair to say people aren't allowed to be bothered by this because you cannot compare the two.

My son’s prone to wondering off or sitting with his head in his hands and yawning at these things . He’s also tone deaf and forgets his own name if tired , one year he just got up and walked off leaving the mask there because he was bored 😂 . I’d think the woman had lost her mind to give him a speaking or singing part . His girlfriend on the other hand is very much the star and can sing and remember lines even at the tender age of 6 they have certain roles and are individuals .
My son wins swimming races and is a great little painter . That’s about it.
I offered him to go to a little stage school with girlfriend in the half term ‘I would never forgive you mummy’. 😂
most kids in my experience hate doing the plays . Mine both hated it and never wanted parts which was great because I didn’t have to go.
😂