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Original poster

Nativity disappointment why do teachers do it

417 replies

Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:42

Want to key stage 2 nativity today. It was 1 hour long! Approx 40 kids in it. Some children had multiple lines throughout the hour, on the stage for the bulk of the time, solo songs the works. Others had just one line and spent the rest of the time sitting to the side apart from group songs where they all stood up. I understand all parts cant be equal and it must be a nightmare to try and be fair but this was shockingly poorly distrubuted. Why would you do this as a teacher? So disappointing for the children and parents unless you happen to be one of the "stars" of the show.

OP posts:
Dottymug · 07/12/2022 18:52

They weren't just sitting though were they? They were singing. That's a crucial part of a nativity.

cansu · 07/12/2022 18:53

There isn't a nativity on the planet that will allow for every child to have an equal part. Giving each child a role however small is a nightmare as it is. How about you volunteer next year to help? You could write a script that allows 40 children to all have an equal part in a play that lasts no longer than an hour. I am sure the teachers would be delighted. It would also be good if you could make sure that the children who didn't want to say much or didn't want to sing were not forced to do this. If you could make sure that the children were all able to be audible to the audience and learnt their lines, that would be wonderful. If you could help make sure that they all had a costume that would also be super.

Sprogonthetyne · 07/12/2022 18:53

Not all kids are confident or what to be on stage for an hour. For some going on stage and saying one line will be a big achievement, possibly even more so then an already confident kid doing more.

Some of the kids sat at the side might be great at art and did lots of the scenery/ other behind the scenes stuff. Some might be sporty but not into singing, so get their moment to shine at sports day instead. Some will be academic or kind and well behaved and get recognition at prize giving/ achievement assembly. The important thing is that they all get recognised at some point, they don't need to be exactly the same in everything.

ScotlandEuropa · 07/12/2022 18:53

Oh ffs.

We cannot prevent children from ever feeling a negative emotion such as disappointment, and nor should we.

devildeepbluesea · 07/12/2022 18:55

@Dottymug I bloody am. Don’t be so obtuse.

Rocketpants50 · 07/12/2022 18:55

As an NQT I had a class with 6 really confident children in, all singing dancing. I decided in my wisdom that some other children would like the main roles. I had tears- they didn't want main parts, they wanted just to be a sheep for 2 mins. Week later I had to swap roles around, everyone happy oh apart from the parents!

Nativities are lovely but every year beforehand you think they are going to be disastrous! Hard work to, trying to get costumes, encouraging children not to put hands down pants/ pick noses/ sing/ learn lines oh and also keep up with all the other demands on a teacher.

Always made me cry and was always so proud of them.

DollyDoofer · 07/12/2022 18:56

Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:47

Yes I get all that but I'm talking 45 minutes on stage vs basically non participation it was wildly uneven and some of the non starts would have loved to be bigger parts- on stage for a chorus etc . Doesn't have to be learning lines or individual part. Just not sat off stage doing nothing

Why do you think your dc should have been given a bigger role? Have you volunteered to produce next years Primary School Christmas Show? If not you really must - seeing that you know the capabilities of all the children in any given class, so no parent can disagree with you - right! 😂

DrMarciaFieldstone · 07/12/2022 18:56

We cannot prevent children from ever feeling a negative emotion such as disappointment, and nor should we.

Same goes for the parents…

Lovemusic33 · 07/12/2022 18:56

Because life is never fair?
Some kids suit main roles and others don’t. Some kids are more confident than others. As a child I was happy to have no lines or very little to say, I enjoyed singing with everyone and enjoyed watching the confident kids shine, for some kids it was the only thing they were good at (drama).

viques · 07/12/2022 18:56

And to be perfectly honest, teachers choose the children who they know

will learn the lines with help from home
will turn up to every rehearsal
will actually turn up to evening performances

it is stressful enough putting on these shows without clock watching and worrying that your main characters will turn up on time, if at all..

I had one who turned up , not in costume, just as the cast were walking onto the stage, I had already substituted another child. Another child was told by the parent that they couldn’t be in the play as a punishment because of something unrelated that the child had done at home. We also regularly had children -usually minor roles to be fair , but still disruptive- who just didn’t turn up for evening performances ( and without trying to inform us that they weren’t coming) despite the parents having good advance notice , offers of early drop off etc.

It seems harsh to say it but this is often one of the reasons the same children are chosen for parts, because they, and their parents are known to be reliable.

Beamur · 07/12/2022 18:56

I always thought DD's primary was very fair. The bigger speaking parts always are offered to the oldest children (yr2). If your child is in nursery or reception they are going to be sheep/donkeys/sleeping shepherds. Small speaking parts yr 1.

ScotlandEuropa · 07/12/2022 18:57

DrMarciaFieldstone · 07/12/2022 18:56

We cannot prevent children from ever feeling a negative emotion such as disappointment, and nor should we.

Same goes for the parents…

Clearly!!

Original poster
Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:57

Dottymug · 07/12/2022 18:52

They weren't just sitting though were they? They were singing. That's a crucial part of a nativity.

But they weren't singing for most of it. They were just sitting there. And the same children got the lines and the solos and the group songs. Why not spread that out a bit?!

OP posts:
abblie · 07/12/2022 18:57

Take it your child didn't get a big part 🙄 how do you know some children would have wanted a bigger part lol

Original poster
Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:57

Beamur · 07/12/2022 18:56

I always thought DD's primary was very fair. The bigger speaking parts always are offered to the oldest children (yr2). If your child is in nursery or reception they are going to be sheep/donkeys/sleeping shepherds. Small speaking parts yr 1.

Exactly. It's not that hard!

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 07/12/2022 18:58

Not all children will be good at a main part, just like not all children can sing in tune enough to get a singing solo, just like not all children are strong instrumental players, just like not all children will get to run cross country for school, and not all children will be on the a team for various sports, and not all children will get to be class rep for school council, and not all children will be well suited to be buddies for younger pupils.

No play has enough parts for 40+ main or large parts and ensemble parts still require a skill.

Pumperthepumper · 07/12/2022 18:58

Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:57

Exactly. It's not that hard!

Show quote history

Thats a terrible way to do it though. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean they’ll have good retention or concentration or even be good listeners. And it means the same kids (the oldest) get the same parts.

cansu · 07/12/2022 18:58

What do you suggest the children did whilst their peers were singing? Should they dance? Not everyone can perform at the same time. You are being ridiculous. I am not a primary teacher but honestly who would want to be? The class and teachers have spent hours trying to put on a show for the parents and all you can do is moan.

Original poster
Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:58

My son had a big part but his best friend didn't and was in tears about it more than once. Just don't understand it. No one cares if the child fluffs a line or two, spread the lines out.

OP posts:
Dottymug · 07/12/2022 19:00

I'm still reeling that some parents think their children's faces don't fit and that teachers pick their favourites for the big part. The main parts will be played by confident, audible speakers who are able to memorise a number of lines. It's no more mysterious than that.

Cookiecrisps · 07/12/2022 19:00

The primary school I work has auditions for parts and anyone can audition for any part. Quite often the same children still get the bigger speaking parts because they can reliably sing well, learn the lines and deliver them clearly. All children are included in productions and the teachers are sensitive to children’s feelings. It is a lot of work to put on a production and parental complaints are why some teachers have a sinking feeling when told to lead it by SLT.

Pumperthepumper · 07/12/2022 19:00

Bucketheadbucketbum · 07/12/2022 18:58

My son had a big part but his best friend didn't and was in tears about it more than once. Just don't understand it. No one cares if the child fluffs a line or two, spread the lines out.

See, crying about not getting a part in a play for young children is exactly the reason he wouldn’t be given it.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 07/12/2022 19:00

Pumperthepumper · 07/12/2022 19:00

See, crying about not getting a part in a play for young children is exactly the reason he wouldn’t be given it.

Show quote history

Quite.

LolaSmiles · 07/12/2022 19:01

My son had a big part but his best friend didn't and was in tears about it more than once. Just don't understand it. No one cares if the child fluffs a line or two, spread the lines out.
Then as a parent, your son's friend's parents need to empathise it's disappointing, explain disappointment is a normal human emotion, and say that there are other opportunities in school and life when he will have an opportunity that other children don't.

The more adults get beside themselves and over emotional about it, the more the children feed off it and get the message that who says what line in primary school is a much bigger deal than it is.

Luckyducker · 07/12/2022 19:02

1 of my children doesn't want to go near the stage and doesn't. The other 2 want to sing with a group but don't want to draw attention to themselves so don't want lines. They would all hate it if everybody got given a role with a few lines. Not all kids want the same thing.