Nativity disappointment why do teachers do it

[Bucketheadbucketbum]

Want to key stage 2 nativity today. It was 1 hour long! Approx 40 kids in it. Some children had multiple lines throughout the hour, on the stage for the bulk of the time, solo songs the works. Others had just one line and spent the rest of the time sitting to the side apart from group songs where they all stood up. I understand all parts cant be equal and it must be a nightmare to try and be fair but this was shockingly poorly distrubuted. Why would you do this as a teacher? So disappointing for the children and parents unless you happen to be one of the "stars" of the show.

Chubby kid with glasses.

I agree with you OP. How are the shy kids supposed to gain confidence without being encouraged and supported to overcome their nerves by giving them a speaking part.

The schools give the bigger parts to the kids who are naturally good at it (and don't need it as much) because its easier for them.

My kids don't do nativity plays but I had them in a drama group for a couple of years where the same thing happened despite ALL the kids being there because they wanted to perform. Instead of building their confidence, it destroyed the confidence they initially went in with. The organisers gave the speaking parts to the same kids over and over. They insisted they did 'auditions' in their weekly classes but omitted to say that the auditions were not open for all the kids, and were instead hand selected by the organisers. For a 'community' group to behave like this, was very disappointing. It backfired because as soon as the average kids reached a certain age, they all left apart from the selected few, meaning the drama group's average member is approx five years of age!

In a school of what? Abercrombie models?

There was never any fairness with awards at primary - same kids every time - I just don’t understand teachers, I think my expectations were too high - I thought they’d think about stuff like this but turns out they didn’t think it mattered. I stopped respecting the profession - too many let downs - lockdown sealed it.

So do you homeschool your kids now?

I'm on the PTA. I'd be astonished if any of the teachers are aware of it or connected me with my child. I'd imagine they have more to think about.

100% this!

ITs the easy option to pick just a few/ the same kids

There was never any fairness with awards at primary - same kids every time - I just don’t understand teachers, I think my expectations were too high - I thought they’d think about stuff like this but turns out they didn’t think it mattered. I stopped respecting the profession - too many let downs - lockdown sealed it

Awards are given to those who are best at whatever, so likely to go to the same ones.

But the reason that doesn’t work is the shy kids don’t go straight to being the confident lead in the school play. They need loads and loads of time to practise - by talking in groups, then in front of the class, then to people they don’t know well, then assemblies, or any other millions of ways to make them feel happier in front of a group.

It would actually be shit, lazy teaching to bash them on stage with a couple of weeks of rehearsals to say you’d attempted to make them more confident. And it wouldn’t work.

Pumperthepumper, I didn't say that you should 'centre' the parents over the children but they certainly need to engage them as they're a valuable contribution in the education of a child. Schools that are successful know that. I'm not sure why cheeriness and happiness are in a young child's life who are at that age keen to show their parents their abilities and school life, are so repellent to you- seems a bit miserable, surely you are working towards the ideal at that age as they are pretty sweet and innocent.

They spread the lines out at dc's school one year and it was a fucking nightmare. Imagine trying to get 30 children to each remember a) their line and b) their cue, and then someone says their line in the wrong place and chaos. Lots of confusion, lots of tears as kids missed their turn or had it gazumped. Never did find out what the story was supposed to be.

No, you’re saying schools should push kids on to make the parents happy. I’m not sure why quiet kids are so repellant to you, they’re just as important as the confident ones - regardless of how desperate their parents are for them to be Mary.

I wonder if those who say ‘their face didn’t fit’ make this comment about everything to do with school?

Some parents have decided the school is the enemy and wants to keep their kid down, before they’ve even visited the school or met the teacher. It can be a mindset thing.

And often those parents will badmouth the school and teacher to their child and a few friends, but would never have a constructive conversation about their issues with the school ....wouldn’t dream if it, because actually often it would be ridiculous and there would be nothing to say. Because how can a comment like ‘they should all have equal parts’ make any sense, or how could ‘they wanted a big part’ be sensibly responses to when the teacher tells them they were asked and said they wanted a small non-speaking role....those parents will still be determined to believe that’s a lie and the child has been denied.

On one level, it won’t be entirely fair. Not every child will get their favourite role. Certainly it seems not every parent will have their child in the role they would choose for them. Funnily, more parents want their kid in a bigger role than the kids do themselves. As parents and children, accepting natural constraints on things like this, is a part of life and growing up. Most kids and parents accept and understand. Some kids and even some adults can’t get beyond their personal desires or see the bigger picture. They can’t grasp that with 60 kids, some will be chorus or that the nativity isn’t the key focus of the teacher’s year and there are other things than writing a bespoke script that will please every parent, all of whom want something different. Some parents are just always disappointed about everything because essentially they want individual attention for their child and not for them to be just one of 60 or 90 or whatever. They might be their little prince or princess, but the play has to meet multiple constraints of time, cost, effort, performance quality etc etc and in the end it’s about a group effort, community event and building a memory....and most plays do that for the kids. Some parents want a lifelong deep and meaningful memory, a quality video that can be used to brag to multiple friends and Aunts and a boost to their own ego. The school nativity isn’t the right place to get a fix of those things. But some people seem to demand that.

Expect something quite cute, a bit funny and the little kids as they are, performing as befits their age and inexperience. Enjoy it for their pride at being involved and singing the songs at home in the week before. Praise them for their lovely singing or speaking the odd word they might have. Thank the teacher and other staff for their efforts. Congratulate other families and tell all the kids how great they were. And forget it by a day or two later. Don’t be too over-invested. It really isn’t a big deal.

Hear hear

I agree - the barely concealed favouritism is a real problem in primary school. And too many teachers are concerned with the quality of the performance vs letting more kids get involved and.... god forbid, have fun

Well that's not me. I just got on with it. I still had a bit of tinsel to wear.

Did you really care what the 'story' was though?

They do this at my kid's school ie they all get one line (and some of them get a few more). Plenty of kids fluff their line. I don't think I've ever spoken to a parent afterwards who cared. Certainly some kids were better at speaking loudly and clearly than others but the kids were treated equally and the shy ones (one being my own DC) was so proud of their part in it.

My favourite Xmas song!

I can’t get past the hour thing. Our performances are always 20mins which is enough.

ExActly! Its primary! Literally no one cares about the story or the polish. Give them all a reasonably equal go at it, if you never try you never know etc! Its the same with other skills in promary. I dont get why they singled out a dozen kids to basically do the whole thing while the others sat by off stage, only occasionally standing up for a chorus.

100%

Things were different in the early 90s... I was the only chubby one and the only glasses wearer. Also I had a regional accent that was different.
It doesn't matter, this isn't about me, I'm a grown up now and sing to my own kids. That's enough for me.

No they weren’t 🤣🤣 You weren’t too ugly for the school play in primary school, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Oh go on then, what other skills?

So disappointing for the children and parents unless you happen to be one of the "stars" of the show.

Sorry, what!? One child "sitting on stage" or being a background singer could be a major breakthrough for them, and could make some parents beyond proud that they had the confidence and ability to do that, or for just taking part in something they might have had zero interest in doing. Certainly parts should be divided fairly among those kids that want to be centre stage but I think it's a stinky attitude to think every other role is disappointing!!