AIBU to message the teacher re Christmas play cancellation

[Rascalsandradishes]

DS(10) in y6 came home very upset today saying that class performance has been cancelled. It is tomorrow morning.

Teacher messaged in the class app approximately half an hour after school ended to say the play hasn't really been cancelled but wanted to use this as a stimulus for them to write a persuasive letter to get the head to change his mind. Teacher requested parents play along and help them form some arguments.

DS was really quite upset that his last show of primary school was 'cancelled'.

I couldn't play along, it just felt cruel and I don't lie to my DC. I had to tell him it wasn't real and that this was the base of a homework task.

AIBU to message the class teacher to say I've not played along and tell her how upset DS was? I can't imagine being the only parent feeling this way.

I think it was rather creative of the teacher . Will get the children writing some emotional, heartfelt letters and have a nice surprise at the end . Did I miss something or did somebody die? Jaamoi, what did you tell your child about Santa? Just wondering about the ‘ not lying to my children ‘ bit.

I think it was rather creative of the teacher

that's because you're an adult, with (presumably) logical thought processes that signal to you that there'll be another year, another Christmas play, and that nobody died.

in the eyes of a child it will be a huge disappointment, that is based on a deliberate lie. That's called cruel and callous not creative. Not only do you lack empathy, you clearly have zero concept of ethics in this situation.

No Santa Claus in your house then?

I can't believe the hysteria on this thread. I really hope the worst thing that ever happens to these kids is that their Christmas play gets cancelled. They are going to grow up with zero resilience, thanks to their outraged parents.

You don't need to invent problems to teach children resilience, you just help them deal with life.

People still have problems - this country is facing widespread poverty, hunger, cold, lack of healthcare, lack of mental healthcare, problems in education.

We just lived through a pandemic where children's schools were closed - this affected all children whether rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy.

This bullshit about 'resilience' is also toxic. You don't make people resilient by pulling these kinds of stunts, this is not what resilience is about.

It's not resilience training to give a bunch of children what, for some, will be their first experience of gaslighting or coercive control.

Pretending to cancel something they've worked hard for and were looking forward to in order to see how they react and dismiss upset as character building is textbook psychological abuse. Some could have been told previously by abusive parents that it had been cancelled, only to find it wasn't, and then the adults they could actually trust did exactly the same. They would all learn that teachers are untrustworthy and cannot be relied upon.

This isn't a fantasy situation like dragons or naughty elves, it's absolutely feasible and shouldn't be used as a writing stimulus. Because it turns into a social experiment in how post pandemic children react to being told they're going to experience yet another loss instead of whether there is the correct number of adverbs and tone in their writing.

Teachers can be very moronic.

What a load of nonsense. Why on earth would a school want or need to test parents’ critical thinking skills?

OP, I am a teacher and that is a really crappy thing to do!!

Dear god. I'm sure the teacher thought this was creative and clever and is telling herself it'll be ok because tomorrow all will be revealed, but it's a shitty thing to do once expectations have been raised, rehearsals etc, and the heightened hysteria that is the last few weeks at school before Christmas... So badly judged! And as others have said, it's fine to be rational about this as an adult, but this teacher is showing very little understanding of how children think and feel. I would hope a teacher could show more empathy.

I've heard of this sort of stunt before, as a frame to build a creative writing exercise on - I think one year in my son's primary, the head teacher was 'kidnapped' and the entire school then worked, at their appropriate level, on various tasks around this crisis. But I seem to remember it was a very implausible, fantasy scenario so presumably most kids didn't actually believe it. To tell your class that their beloved Christmas play was cancelled the night before is just cruelty. I'd be interested to know if the Head signed off on this.

OP, I'd be writing a fairly strong letter here. Make sure it's a poor judgement she won't make again in her career.

This kind of shit doesn't build resilience, it was ill-advised and just plain mean.

It really wouldn't be difficult to think up a suitably festive scenario for this task - maybe the teacher could have said that Father Christmas was going to sack Rudolf, and ask the children to write letters to persuade him not to. Or the Prime Minister is going to make a law saying you have to eat sprouts at Christmas - write a letter saying why this is wrong. And that's just off the top of my head.

I can well imagine that the task the teacher set will have upset a number of the children, who have been working so hard on the Nativity play - and even if that upset only lasts until the next day, when the teacher tells them it was all made up, and of course the play is happening - that is still unnecessary upset.

I agree with previous posters, who have said that this sort of thing does not build resilience, and will make the children wary of trusting that teacher again.

I also find it hard to believe that some posters would not be cross if their child came out of school really upset because the teacher had told them the play was cancelled. Even if you can reassure them, and tell them that it is just a homework task, that doesn't negate the unhappiness caused initially. And if your child either isn't bothered by the play, or sees through the teacher's ruse, and isn't upset, wouldn't you be at all moved by the other children's unhappiness?

I really can't think of any reason that the teacher would think it OK to do this

If the teacher can’t cope she should find a job that suits her capabilities, she obviously hasn’t got the children’s interests at the core of this. She’s being ridiculous and should be reprimanded.

Zombie 🧟‍♀️