Looking wealthy or being wealthy?

[Animallover87]

AIBU to think there's a difference between looking wealthy and being wealthy?

I think understanding the difference, between being wealthy and looking wealthy, is key to changing your financial situation. Our culture today almost encourages looking wealthy as being the ultimate aspirational target.

With beautiful Instaperfect homes, 2 shiny new cars, amazing garden makeovers, £1200 phones, and £200 trainers being shoved down our throats, many people desperately want a piece of that. Reality TV and social media encourage us to have that perfect lifestyle and it can be really difficult to avoid the trap of looking wealthy.

But while some can afford this lifestyle, many of these "Joneses" simply cannot. They might look wealthy, however, they are anything but. Many of them are up to their eyeballs in debt, are continually spending more than they earn, and constantly worrying about how they can afford to pay their bills.

Have you ever felt the pressure to spend to keep up with others? Or are you able to resist the spending but feel jealous of others?

As a very general rule, the more money you have, the less you care about whether other people think you have money.

This is trotted out all the time but in reality plenty of people with money look like they have money.

Rich people don't walk around in new clothes flashing the bling all the time... they wear what they want.

Bingo! 😆

I’ve never felt the pressure of needing to keep up with the wealthy and I take pride knowing I’m saving money or got myself a bargain.

I think even if I won the lotto I would still be thrifty.

I do think those who need obviously designer gear and top of the range things are also not as wealthy than those who don’t flaunt their wealth.

Someone head to toe in Burberry clothing with the name printed all over it, is trying to show that they are wealthy.

Most wealthy people have expensive things but their clothes don’t have massive brand names on them to show off to everyone else.

This is just mumsnet tripe. It’s always repeated and based on nothing. Some wealthy people wear tatty clothes, some wealthy people take pride in their appearance and are incredibly well dressed.

yep & plenty of wealthy people have all their money tied up in housing so have no choice but to wear tatty clothes!

I couldn't give a damn about flashy cars, latest trainers, Labels etc. I'd rather have savings - which we have and feel secure.

It’s quite sad that those that really can’t afford it believe that the need to have certain status symbols (eg branded trainers and expensive cars) to be seen as successful, and they often end up in debt to impress others who are also in debt trying to do the same. Those who do have money and know how to use it do not go for these things, and likely see them as tacky.

I don't care if people want to appear wealthy as long as they don't put themselves in debt to do so.
I have absolutely no interest in 'Keeping up with the Joneses' nor do I feel obliged to succumb to any pressure to do so.
I'm not jealous of people who have more than me but I must confess sometimes I feel frustrated when I see them flinging money at pointless things when a fraction of it could be used to greatly help others. However, I'm well aware that it is their money to do with as they so wish.

last year's M&S boots
The horror!

Actually I think they were from the year before 😂😮

Been done to death on here

Another class thread

There was a good one on style and beauty couple of years ago - how to look rich or whatever

Jeff Bezos isn't walking around in tatty clothes...

Some people like fashion, some people don’t. Some people are into personal grooming and others don’t care. Not sure what that has to do with how wealthy you are. People are people- most people have some amount disposable income and unsurprisingly they all have different priorities with regard to what they want to spend it on.

I‘ve never met the drives an ancient volvo, wearing tatty cashmere covered in dog hair stereotype that’s so often bounded about on here though😂

Within our social circle are several multi millionaires and unless a stranger looked very closely they would never know. There are no designer labels, no bling, classic cars but not posh ones. Modest clothes (handtailored) , manners, they easily (and intentionally) pass unnoticed and unremarked.

My MIL is a millionaire and she is still rocking a coat from the 70s. Think she is just impressed it still fits. She is incredibly frugal but stil manages to spoil her grandkids. No one can tell what anyone is worth just by looking at them. Tatty clothes, designer handbags, flash cars.

Also y the interest? Will you treat someone different/better/worse (take them for a ride cos they can afford it) if you know what they are worth? I don't care what a person's bank balance is. I only care if they treat me in a manner in which they would like to be treated.

Hence the word often in my sentence.

I was invited to a hen weekend with a bunch of "It" type girls a few years back. (I think they needed to make up the numbers.) They were all ooh-ing and ahh-ing over my "Chanel" handbag—it was a £10 rip-off that I had bought from a market in London the week before. I wore it as a kind of joke but it backfired on me as I didn't have the heart to tell them it was fake.

The wealthiest people I know where stinky wellies. If I see a person dolled up with an expensive iPhone I just think chav. I think maybe our definitions of wealthy looking differ.

DH and I care a damn about looking wealthy. But I understand the pressure. We have a huge house in a nice area, that’s a giveaway. Otherwise you won’t know. We choose quality over brand value and use things until they can’t be repaired anymore. Just replaced my 8 year old phone!
You are right op, so many people just spend spend and spend !

I agree with this. DH has a couple of wealthy-by-most-people’s-standards mates. They are the ones who don’t seem to give a shit about what they’re wearing wherever they are. So, nice restaurant where DH and I will have made an effort to look smart and they’ll have on a sweatshirt and trainers. Neutral colours, clean etc but they definitely don’t seem to feel the need to dress-up-to-fit in like I do.

"Or are you able to resist the spending but feel jealous of others?"

Err...is there no option to just be able to resist the spending, be content within yourself and NOT be jealous!?!?

DHOTYA 🙋🏻‍♀️

Most of the rich people I know have inherited money, are champagne socialists, and feel the guilt. They are always pretending to be poorer than they are.

I have inherited money which I feel guilty about (not guilty enough to give it all away). Most of my clothes are old and crappy looking; they were cheap to begin with too. They are not the beautifully-tailored-ancient-but-identifiable-as-pure-class-by-people-who-are-sophisticated-enough-to-know clothes (so often described on here). They are just old clothes that were never very nice...
Same with cars. I just don't care about clothes and cars.

All the wealthy people I know (and I work with a lot of high net worth individuals) aren’t bling but they’re very well groomed and have very high quality stuff. Either tailored made or discreetly branded if at all. If you’re feeling brave or are close enough to someone wealthy try feeling their clothes. If you know you know. Money talks, wealth whispers.

None of them drive tatty cars either, they may not be brand new but often high value expensive to own and maintain cars plus one or more classic cars. Their homes and fixtures and fittings are also give always. My last client spent £275K on their kitchen remodel and STILL haggled on their fee! 🙄

Owning an iPhone makes me a chav? ok

But you know the young people at work are not as wealthy as you, right? So what it’s your point? I don’t wear £200 trainers and none of my wealthy friends would notice or care if I did. We have comfortable homes, nice holidays in places like the Galapagos, treat our kids to skiing holidays, and wear old but well-made clothes.