Looking wealthy or being wealthy?

[Animallover87]

AIBU to think there's a difference between looking wealthy and being wealthy?

I think understanding the difference, between being wealthy and looking wealthy, is key to changing your financial situation. Our culture today almost encourages looking wealthy as being the ultimate aspirational target.

With beautiful Instaperfect homes, 2 shiny new cars, amazing garden makeovers, £1200 phones, and £200 trainers being shoved down our throats, many people desperately want a piece of that. Reality TV and social media encourage us to have that perfect lifestyle and it can be really difficult to avoid the trap of looking wealthy.

But while some can afford this lifestyle, many of these "Joneses" simply cannot. They might look wealthy, however, they are anything but. Many of them are up to their eyeballs in debt, are continually spending more than they earn, and constantly worrying about how they can afford to pay their bills.

Have you ever felt the pressure to spend to keep up with others? Or are you able to resist the spending but feel jealous of others?

It depends what your flashing and how you flash it.

is it common for people to take on debt for things other than education or a home? I am 30 years old and i don't know anyone who takes on debt to finance lifestyle purchases but education, home or maybe a car (in places where there is no reliable public transport to get to work). Perhaps also childcare for young parents (but I can see that this can also be seen as an investment in one's career and at some point the kids would be at school). For many in my age group, some would also 'stretch' to buy a home but thats because of house prices. I took on more mortgage debt to live in London as opposed to a commuter town but when i ran the sums, i was saving money overall because I don't need to spend money on rail fares that go up every year or to run a car. I have a credit card but its paid off every month; i use it for ongoing expenses.

Haha! Thanks for the evidence that they exist!

It's interesting that over the last century the 'privilege' of wearing nice clothes has disappeared.
It used to be that one didn't dress above one's station...
Now the privilege is in not giving a toss what anyone thinks about what you wear (one which used to be reserved for royalty and is still practiced e.g., by Andy's daughters with their choice of wedding outfits!).

If you a good example of someone who is exactly all fur coat and no knickers and is pretending desperately to appear wealthy then you can look at Stephen Bear in court for voyuerism.

All these people saying 'really wealthy people' and then list things like wear tatty clothes, drive old cars, are understated are talking codswallop. There is no 'really wealthy rule book'. Really wealthy people are like everyone else. They are all different. Many wear nothing but identifiable designer clothes and drive Bentley sports whilst others wear grey t-shirt and jeans with converse and ride a bike.

There seem to be a lot of scathing comments about perfectly turned out women, and whilst I don't like the 'keeping up with the joneses' mentality, I also don't see the point of having loads of money and looking like a scruff.

I honestly don't get what's so revered about people with 'old money' who are realistically probably living off the success of their parents and may not have ever done a day's hard work in their life.

LOL @ last year’s M&S boots 😂

I’m wearing
2019 White Stuff jeans
2017 Fatface shirt
2022 Matalan Jumper
Tesco knickers circa 2010.

I hope you are shocked 🤣

It's the Hyacinth Bucket effect.

And all the scorn about 'cars on finance'. It's pretty daft buying a luxury car with cash if you're only going to keep it 2-3 as they depreciate loads. PCP often makes more sense.

I honestly don't get what's so revered about people with 'old money' who are realistically probably living off the success of their parents and may not have ever done a day's hard work in their life.

Exactly. There's nothing in that lifestyle that deserves our fawning respect.

Equally some "self made" wealthy people have only made it by trampling on the lives of others. (Not all, admittedly).

It's why I don't understand the worship of the wealthy.

Funny people, kind people, interesting people, there are all kinds of traits I admire far more than a bank balance.

Asking for a friend..... How does a car on PCP make more sense? Does the car depreciate less on PCP? If so why? Or does the dealer underwrite the loss some how? Or something else I've not heard of?

Or is the depreciation the same, just paid for by the lessor, through the monthly charge,
plus a fee to whoever arranges it,
plus the interest on the loan to cover the capital,
plus a fee to who ever arranges it,
plus insurance to cover the risk of default,
plus a fee to who ever arranges it,
plus pricing of the future risk in the value of the vehicle,
plus a fee to who ever arranges it?

Whereas if one was wealthy and 'daft' and paid cash, one would only pay the depreciation?

Or is money like a bar of wet soap, passed from person to person, it gets smaller with every party involved?

In my purely personal opinion, living in a place where roads are narrow with a large dog, I buy a car, maintain it sensibly to 175K miles and run it to death. Then I buy another one. Cars are essential. I prefer diesels too.

I agree with @WithManyTot. Cars should be purchased outright when they are about 18 months old. If 0% credit is available that's fine. The car is then kept for at at least 10 years. It is the most economical form of motoring, regardless of the make of the motor car or how pedestrian or wanky it is. Obviously collector/specialist/vintage cars may be an exception.

PCP/Lease cars are viable if the company pays but the taxable benefit needs to be taken into account.

You kind of only pay the depreciation really and can just give it back at the end of term, which is good if you want to have a new highish spec car and replace it every few years. Or the can refinance the lump sum at the end and have a car which you know the history of from new.

I remember in my 20s getting a brand new £25k hot hatch and paying £206 a month. It only had 80 miles on the clock when it arrived and only cost me around £5k to drive it for two years.

I then bought a £10k pickup truck outright and was paying about £300 a month for three years, although I still have it as a second car and use it for camping etc which is one of the benefits of buying outright.

The two most common types of car finance are Hire Purchase (HP) and Personal Contract Purchase (PCP). To put it simply, HP could be the better option if you plan to own your new car at the end of the agreement; whereas PCP may be more suitable if you like to change it every few years.

www.carwow.co.uk/blog/pcp-vs-hp#gref

This is great advice. Thanks!

On the car front: Citroën Picasso, 2 years old 2003, kept for 8 years. Cost £9,800. Got £1200 for it. Just over £1k per annum - nearly died at 85k, changed for 18 month old SMax for about £16.5k I think. Kept until 2020 145k, sold for £3k. Less than 2k pa and a real work horse. Replaced with a Honda CRV just before model replaced so bought for a very good price. Will keep it until 2030 when forced to go electric, depending on the deals. But I don't give two hoots about cars.

@ last year’s M&S boots

A well made pair of boots or shoes that are looked after should last for years.

I need a new car radio and was talking to the extortionist I asked to quote, who was saying that 90% of his work now comes from trying to fix electric cars which apparently dont function well for long in damp climates. Sticking with diesel, will buy a new diesel in 2029.

Tbf most people who drive extremely flash cars are wealthy because even on finance they're expensive. A bog standard porsche can easily be £12k deposit and a grand a month. For a Lambo you're talking £50k deposit and £8k a month. £6k for a 'cheap' one.

So £3k eight years ago was a steal? Not that I am selling it yet.... I am planning to get 200K or better. The cheapest car is the one you keep longest.

My friend retired early - 55 years old. Reached her lifetime pension limit but doubts she'll ever need her pension anyway as she as a lot of savings. She's obsessed with sticking to a very low budget, knows the cost of everything - it's like her new job🙄. She always was a bit tight but now she is totally miserable with her money. I'm sure she would know off hand all the details about their car's mileage and how much value they got out of it too.😉We only go on walks now - she'd readily accept me cooking for her (note: never the other way round!). She has plenty of money but just hates spending it, much more now she isn't working. I keep telling her if she can't relax and enjoy spending her money she should go back to work and I think she's had the same message from other friends - she has put me off early retirement. We have reached our retirement goals so don't have to work but we do, work is interesting. I fully intend to enjoy my retirement with frequent holidays, meals out and lovely wine...not sitting around counting my pennies wearing a hair shirt eating gruel - we'll enjoy every bit of our good fortune. I predict my friend goes back to work next year.

I think being wealthy shows in being appropriately dressed for the occasion. You don't see a wealthy person shivering in a cheap H&M coat - they had the money to buy a warm, well made one. And they won't need to replace it every year because it's good quality and lasts. Same with shoes. They can afford nice haircuts and colours and gym sessions and dentistry.
Wealthy people can afford to look after themselves - a good diet, time to exercise and not run themselves ragged because they can afford help, does show in how people look and behave.

It's not as simple as having designer handbags snd watches - anyone can get those things. It's about a quality of life that you can't emulate if you don't have that level of wealth.

Wealthy people can afford to look after themselves - a good diet, time to exercise and not run themselves ragged because they can afford help.

Hmm, well I remember reading that the average entrepreneur works 60 hours per week. Elon Musk used to do 80 hours and sleep on the office floor. Grant Cardone claims to have worked 95 hour weeks and Gary Vaynerchuk claims that new founders should work 18 hours a day for the first year. These guys are all millionaires.

Well yes, but they are working at their passion. They aren't putting in a full week at work and then going home to do the housework or be up all night with the baby!
I do believe that working on something which makes you incredibly rich, is maybe less onerous that working full time in a big standard job.