To think about moving from a house into a flat?

[Thepotdog]

DH and I moved back from London to my hometown in the north during Covid, lived in the city centre and then moved out and bought a house in the suburbs. We’ve never really settled, we find it a bit boring with not much going on and haven’t met anyone. Husband still works in London so is away a lot and I’m pretty lonely.
We’re considering moving back to an area right next to the city, area is a lot more vibrant, cafe culture, bars, shops , restaurants etc. plus 10 minute walk into the centre and a much younger demographic. It reminds me a lot of our old life back in London.

The only sticking point is we’d only be able to afford a (large) flat and I’m currently pregnant with 1st baby. The flat we’ve seen is over 2 floors, 3 beds, 2 baths, kitchen and 2 reception rooms so fairly big. Our current house is 4 bed, over 3 floors with garage, drive and garden for comparison. Both sets of parents think we are mad and that we are totally underestimating how our lives will change once the baby is here. But the thought of having a baby in our current area makes me feel even more isolated.

Are we being unreasonable to think this would work?

Is there another more lively area you can afford to buy a house in?

Think about carrying shopping plus pushchair baby etc to flat... Children not being able to play in garden whilst you watch from indoors comfy and warm and resting!

I would really consider your parents experienced advice.

Is it ground floor? If not does it have a lift? As that would make a big difference to me. We currently live in a first floor flat with no lift and have decided we'll be moving before having kids as there's no way we want to be traipsing baby stuff up and down the stairs every time

Of course it could work. It sounds like it would suit you much better to be in a busier area.
One key thing when you have a baby is to make friends with other mums and babies. Is that more likely to happen in the suburbs or near the city centre?

It can definitely work! Lots of people have babies in flats 😊

I'd probably miss the outside space the most and the storage from the garage, but other than that it sounds like a really large flat with that many bedrooms and levels!

As long as it's got good parking and easy access to the flat via a reliable lift or super easy stairs then that's one box ticked.

I raised (and still am) my kids in a flat.

We had a two bed garden flat for 10 years (moved out when the kids were 4 and 7), then moved to where we are now which sounds similar - two floors, upper flat, plenty of bedrooms and space. We have much much more space than if we lived in a standard semi with a drive/garage.

There are a couple of downsides -

• on street parking (we are used to it, never had a drive!)
• have to carry shopping, suitcases etc up and down stairs
• lack of storage - mainly as the outside space is small so we can't have a shed for bikes etc). Plenty of attic storage and we have so many rooms we use one of them for bikes etc.

However the plusses massively outweigh these

• significantly roomier. We toyed with moving to a house and couldn't find anything to match the space for a similar price
• the price. Our mortgage is so small that even overpaying is well under what a 3bed semi would cost. It also leaves us with money for living. location - next to a massive* park, easy bus routes, so central for walks into the city, etc
• the buzz/feel - suburbs always feel quite samey/lawns cut and cars washed on a sunday/everyone looks and sounds the same etc. Here it's like everyone is chucked together from all corners of the globe, all jobs, all income types. It's a melting pot. And I really like it.

We live in a large flat in the city centre. Can't afford a house so central and don't want to move further out. It's fine. Now the children are teenagers they love living right in the city.

Thanks for the replies.
It doesn’t have a lift, it’s a first floor flat, so one set of stairs up to the front door. And then an internal set obviously from 1st to 2nd floor.
It does have a private roof terrace off the kitchen and a private parking space at the back.

There probably are other areas but I know this one well as I lived there before I moved to London. A lot more younger families with babies. Where we are now is 40+ with older kids/teenagers (on average). We’re early 30s.

i lived in an area of mostly flats when we had children.
most people moved once their first was 2/3 years old - to a house with a garden.
we had a big flat so moved once the second child was here…
why?
no garden, so you always have to get everyone ready to go outside for a bit
having to lug child/ shopping/ scooter/ buggy etc upstairs/ to the car (which is downstairs, and possibly nowhere near the flat)
lift breaking
noise complaints
storage
no garden (therefore no toys, paddling pool etc)

i wouldn’t move to a flat again.

The sticking point for me would be easily accessible outdoor play space, either in the form of a garden or a nearby park. A roof terrace could work, depending on the lay-out/how safe it is.

Noise travels between flats, particularly if you are not on the top floor. You will probably hear a lot more from your neighbours than you currently do, and they will hear your children.

You are going to regret that when baby is sleeping in the buggy.
and when you have to carry the buggy up and down.
and when you are pregnant with second and can’t.
and then when you have the buggy, the buggy board, the scooter, a toddler, a baby and the shopping…

do not move- honestly a house with a baby- or more to the point a toddler/ young child is so much easier.

You can look for a flat with storage. Lots of flats have storage rooms outside. I am looking at a 3 bed flat which has a storage room outside to store big items.

I had both my children in a lift when they were small and absolutely loved it. As others have said, stairs are a pain so I'd go for either ground floor or a flat with a lift. Look for plenty of storage, good local parks. Good public transport. Will you also need a car or can you do without? Also think about schools- I know it seems a million years away now but they will pass quickly. Lots of outstanding and good primaries in London.

I think when people seem horrified by the idea of small children in a flat it's because they are imagining trying to live their existing (house) lifestyle in one. But you just do things a bit differently. There is masses going on for children in London and you live in a way which is more "out there" than "in here", if you see what I mean- the park instead of a garden, say. It's different but it's not worse- horses for courses. And of course you're more likely to meet people with a similar mindset to yours.

PMSL, in a flat not in a lift- that would be a challenge!

I think your parents are right that your priorities will change once you have the baby. Can you wait and see? You may find that once you have the baby you meet like minded people and feel more settled.
Or if you really hate where you are are is there somewhere else livelier and nearer the centre but not a flat that you can afford.

OP am looking to move from a 2 bed flat to a 3 bed flat in London. its very common in London for children to live in flats.

For me the biggest thing that’s put me off flats generally is service charges, as well as the leasehold/freehold issues.

a lot of friends have been hit with the cladding issues that mean the property is more or less unsaleable, or being given massive service charges to fund the update to cladding, £10/20k each kind of money.

I have completely misread the OP and thought you were moving back to London. Please ignore the irrelevant bits!

100% this- my aunt was hit with a £15k refurb contribution to the refurb of her block- a 6 flat, two story, no gardens, no lift block. Its awful!

It really depends on the area. in my area of north london, the areas in good school catchments mainly have period housing stock i.e. pre war flats. So they are not flashy or available on help to buy. Many don't have en-suites. But unaffected by cladding as this did not even exist when it was built in the 1930s; 3 flats in my area have just sold. Many older flats have share of freehold as they have been privately owned for such a long time.

Its why the cladding crisis disproportionately hit people on lower incomes as most of the new build housing stock were built in up and coming areas (code word for formerly deprived). however young people with significant family support or good incomes are much more likely to buy in established areas(which comparatively have fewer new flats and the flats they do have are ultra high end or aimed at downsizers)

@socialmedia23 that’s what DH and I keep saying to each other, if we were still in London we’d 100% still be in a flat.

Flat is 1st and 2nd floor, so nobody above us.
I’ve added photos of the roof terrace, it looks quite secure and could always fence around the railings. I imagine big enough for a paddling pool.
2 big parks within a 10 minute walk so not having a big garden doesn’t really bother me.

We definitely could wait and see how things go but part of me thinks if we have the baby here we’ll then be used to the baby in a house, whereas we won’t know at difference if we go now.

everyone’s insight is so helpful, lots of things we hadn’t thought about.

Think about the things you do day in day out and how living in a flat will impact them. Something like hauling in the shopping, with a baby in a sling or a toddler at your feet, could really wear you down. That’s just the example that comes to mind for me. But I’m sure there are quite a few daily or weekly jobs that will be impacted negatively and positively.

My experience was that an invisible community opened up when I had a baby, and there was a lot more going on than I’d realised. Take a look at both communities and see which has most small children. It’s extremely isolating to be the only mother in a group of young,vibrant single people.

Nothing would persuade me to live in a home that can only be accessed by steps. Internally there’s always the option of a stair lift, it just sleeping downstairs but just a simple ankle strain would be a nightmare.

I would look for a 2 bed house over a flat tbh. I agree that babies somewhere you already feel very isolated isn't good.

When babies come along though you have the possibility of making social connections/Mum friends through the DC.

I guess what happens if getting pregnant takes a long time? How long can you cope with the current situation?

the flat sounds like a good option, go for it.