To tell people you’re trying to get pregnant?

[Papergang]

Is it odd to tell everyone that you’re trying for a baby?

BIL and SIL told the parents and the rest of the family about 9 months ago that they are trying for a baby. I had never come across a couple telling people this before and thought it was a bit odd but of course we were thrilled and excited for them. But it has put everyone on edge just wanting and waiting for it to happen and I think it must be a lot of pressure for them to be under.

Every time we see them it’s like is this it? Watching if she’s drinking etc. MIL is beside herself excited and waiting getting worried that it’s not happening or speculating when they are going to announce.

So I wanted to ask is it normal to tell people you’re trying for a baby? (YABU)

Or no you wouldn’t tell people (YANBU)

Each to their own but I'd really prefer nobody tell me because it isn't news and I've no idea how I'm supposed to react.

Why? Why not manage one's own emotions about a bodily function in private, with one's partner? Why is the partner not enough?

We didn’t tell any family that we were trying. I think they would of asked if it had happened yet and made us feel a boy pressured. I’m 27 so things like this get discussed in my friendship group and some friends knew we were looking to start trying this year.

Unfortunately, we miscarried in April but are currently 18 weeks pregnant again.

I think every couple is different and deciding to start trying can be really exciting so each to their own.

You might drop the fact you’re trying for a baby in a private conversation, but making it a special annoucement is not of the best taste. On the other hand, if you’re struggeling with infertility or losing a pregnancy I think it’s perfectly fine to talk about it, look for support. Again, I would keep those conversations limited to your own circles, people you love and who love you. Not exactly the kind of talk you have at a big function for the whole table to join in.

It's mixed for me
I wouldn't tell most people but would a few,
For me telling people means that you can share the hard times too. However I'd pick people that I'd normally share things like medical stuff with. If you only try for a few months then it's probably easy to keep it quiet, if you have a long journey then it's harder because it takes up a bigger portion of your headspace

I would also tell very close friends, and my parents about pregnancy early as I think that should I have a miscarriage, I would want them to already know I'm pregnant and I can't imagine trying to manage a miscarriage in silence

I would also tell people were were ttc because We are same set couple and I feel like our families wouldn't react well to an out of the blue pregnancy announcement

Is it?

Really?

Because really it's the same as a member of your family sitting next to you and saying "oh, Mr Frabbits and I are going to get drunk and have unprotected sex later".

Which would be fucking weird.

Well, that's pretty much what it is, isn't it.

You can be a private person and not want to get family hopes up without it making you "abnormal". What a weirdo.

I think it’s weird when couples tell people they’re trying. It’s just TMI. Why do I want to know about their sex life?

Haha 100% this. Mumsnet makes a lot more sense when you realise a significant number of people here don't have any real, authentic close friendships and only seem to have strained relationships with family. Of course its normal to discuss your thoughts, decisions and life plans with people in your circle.

1. I always assume (without actually thinking too much about it) that married couples of childbearing age probably have sex fairly often anyway.

2. If a couple is TTC, hopefully the woman won't be drunk at the time.

Why do you need to get stuck to get pregnant?

????? Because I have friends and family who I'm close to and share the things that I'm going through in my life with them.

I think people are getting a bit hung up on the rawdogging element here? Both times I TTC it's been a year of it. Very little of that feels like it's to do with sex. Mostly it's to do with tracking, symptom spotting, and grief. Yes I choose not to keep that private with the people I otherwise have personal conversations with. It's like the main thing going on in my life, I want to chat about it.

It’s perfectly normal to be private people and not want to share stuff like this too. I have great relationships with my family and friends but it didn’t involve us telling them when we were TTC. Thank fuck, because it took 3 years.

Everyone is different. I'll be taking my sister/close friends when I'm 'trying'. I've suffered infertility before but I've been open about everything, it helped me rather than keeping everything hush hush.

Also, its a two way street. You wouldn't believe the number of nosey friggers that ask, so sometimes it's easier to tell.

*telling (it WOULD be weird if I was taking them!)