To think mil is rude for saying I’m skinny

[Ihavemyeye]

I’m 8 stone and 5’4 which is a healthy weight

Oh the cold........my partner is very understanding that his gas bill trebles for the week when I stay over for one weekend lol!

Stop moaning.

No. In fact, I've only just started.

It is downright rude to comment on anyone's body. Fat, thin, tall, short. Plain bad manners.

I'm a scrawny lanky sod and believe me, there is nothing aspirational about my body. Just as there are issues that are common to those with excess weight, the 'skinny bitches/bastards' have problems too. Suggesting that we should 'stop moaning' suggests that you are a superficial arse, concerned only with how things look and unwilling to look beyond.

Blankets and hot drinks to my fellow bee-yatches!

If my mil called me skinny I'd give her a massive hug, love her forever and celebrate with a massive slice of chocolate cake! I dream of being called skinny!! .. maybe one day!

You’ve given an op with absolutely no context, so it’s impossible to say whether she was unreasonable or not. Did she affectionately say ‘oh I wish I was skinny like x!’ Did she respond to somebody else saying they wanted to lose weight with ‘ooh don’t get too skinny or you’ll look awful like x!’ Did she say ‘I’ve been a bit worried about you, you’ve suddenly lost a lot of weight in a short time and you look ever so skinny at the moment.’ Did she say ‘ooh you look tiny and skinny in those new jeans!’ Did she say ‘yuck look at that horrible skinny bitch?’

Either way it depends. No point just giving the bare bones facts and expecting anyone to be able to tell if she was reasonable or not.

Can those people who struggle not just stop lounging round the couch eating pizza and spend a couple of weeks in intensive exercise classes and eat a few salads? Absolutely ridiculous.

Actually its fine.

She used a negative description of another persons body and bolted it onto "bitch". So no matter in what context she used it, she was VVU.

I apologise.....she didnt use bitch, that was someone else.

Yeah, all op has said is that her mil said she is skinny, then given her weight and height. In some families this would be normal/acceptable, it may have been said in an affectionate way etc. But op has deliberately given absolutely no context to go on, which makes me think it’s more about whipping up a mumsnet classic (let’s be derogatory to thin people and/or insult oversight people) than getting opinions on the behaviour of her mil.

Well I stand by the fact that referring to anyone by their physical appearance.....size, weight, height, colour, hair colour, lack of hair, stance, gait etc is rude and shouldnt be done. There is no context that makes it ok.

I find it utterly infuriating that if I was to do that to someone who is overweight I would be "fat shaming" but they are cheerfully allowed a free pass to comment on my size or weight because I am slim. So us "skinnies" (quoting a PP) are not allowed to feel offended because larger people envy us?!

And.. it turns into an argument, as always..
We come in all shapes & sizes, can we move on?

I don't know if I would use the term envy. But look at the cat walk models...... it's a positive it's seen as right.

Skinny’s an insult or at the very least has negative connotations. In my experience it always comes from people who are overweight.

This is why I would ask MIL if it is good or bad. Not everyone uses 'skinny' as an insult. If she does, will be fun to let her dig a deeper hole

I was genuinely shocked recently during a stay in hospital to see written on my notes....

"Thin, frail, lady"

I am 5.1 and 8 stone!

@ElmoNeedsThePotty that is shocking. HCPs should be able to recognise a healthy bmi.

Used to be skinny, before medication. Now middle size, slightly overweight. Absolutely zero comments on my size any more. Not everyone meant ill by it, but most did.

True. OP knows her MIL and her character some are bolder than others.

But if her MIL was really insulting her I think OP would definitely had more to say. Even if her MIL is outspoken who would just go around slandering someone like that? OP has not stated they don't get along or this comment was said out of malice in an argument.

@2bazookas I’m borrowing this! I get comments on my weight all the time (size 6/8).

This comment is short (easy to remember) and lighthearted. Perfect!

I know right?!

This was only last week and I can't stop thinking about it.

I wonder if it is an indication of just how many more overweight people HCP are seeing?

I'm more offended by the "frail" tbh, i'm only 52 and wear size 10-12 clothes.

Is your age and weight relevant to the reason for clinical attention at all @ElmoNeedsThePotty

That is weird, but I guess even healthcare professionals are not outside cultural influences. I feel smaller at this weight than I did when I was a chubby 19 year old.

Yes it's a big insult and you should go NC and divorce your DH to boot.

Let's stop the faux outrage guys.

You all know in your heart of hearts that skinny/thin/slim women do not get insulted.

Being told that you are skinny is definitely not a compliment. IME those who think it is tend to be overweight themselves.

I had years of being told I was skinny, and never in a nice way. Being flat chested was the bane of my life. DD has inherited my lack of curves and has put up with some nasty comments from the neanderthals at school.

I am still slim, but not skinny.

Absolutely nothing to do with it whatsoever.

I've had/got gangrene in both hands (thus typing with voice activation) and all the steriods I am now on make me look far from frail😂

Skinny is occasionally used negatively, but it isn't really an insulting term. People will order a "skinny latte", but an "obese latte" wouldn't sell, would it?

I don't think it's necessarily rude. She might be concerned, rightly so. Depends. What you might consider slim others might consider skinny or underweight.
I have a friend whose dd is underweight, she doesn't see it as an issue, I do.
Plus we are all different. For some the bmi scale doesn't always quite work, some question its legitimacy. It may say it's a healthy weight but for some it isn't. eg : I was the same weight for years. I lost 1/2 a stone from a busy job, all my family and friends were concerned. I am very small in height. I looked ill. I looked underweight. I thought so too. When I left that job and quickly put that 1/2 stone back on, to my normal weight of 15 years, we all agreed I looked best. But per the bmi it claimed that 1/2 stone less was still in the healthy band, but none of us agreed.