To think mil is rude for saying I’m skinny

[Ihavemyeye]

I’m 8 stone and 5’4 which is a healthy weight

This!!!! This should be the standard response to any "skinny" comment from anybody from now on.

Yes it's rude but she might think she's being nice.

When I was young everyone wanted to be skinny.

I really disagree with 'but you wouldn't call someone fat this and that' Fat people are told all the time that they are fat in 101 ways day in day out. They have it screamed from car windows, they have it as the first insult or comment if you hadn't seen them in a while, it always comes up.

The type of people who comment on you being fat are the same who will comment on you being skinny. Same arsehole, body conscious, shallow, vain mentality. It's the same rudeness and hyper awareness and obsessive observation of other's bodies, comparing size, insecurities. That can manifest in jealous 'compliments' or in digs about being fat even when they present them as 'WE' eg. we need to go on a diet said about herself and another overweight woman who didn't even speak about diets before to her.

People say I'm too thin.

I daren't say I'm cold at work or my boss helpfully tells me I need to eat more. He is adorable though so I let him away with it.

I'm not at all. I'm 5"1 and weigh between 8 - 8.5 stone.

I have no boobs but I've a wobbly belly that I've got to tuck into my jeans.

I don't think people mean to be rude.

When I was an anaemic and obese I was constantly cold. I had comments about how I had plenty of insolation and shouldn't be cold at my size.
The type to comment on skinny are the same to take the liberty to comment on fat. Fat and skinny people should unite against people who take liberty in volunteering their assessment of our bodies it's not a fat vs thin camp it's a fat and thin against rude arseholes camp

Skinny people are told in 101 ways they're undesirable with horrid phrases like skeleton, flat, look like a man, men will never want you etc.

Probably not In OP's case given she doesn't appear to be 'skinny' but for actually very thin people- it is equivalent to the experience of heavier people.

@buzzy06 yes I quiet agree I have seen genuinely skinny people get bullied and piss taken out of them for it.
I wasn't denying that I was disagreeing with the notion that it's ok to skinny shame but you wouldn't fat shame. No, fat people are always shamed about it, too.

I would just say - can you not comment on my weight, I find it really depressing/irritating/whatever.

And then just repeat every time

I should have been clearer my reply was to Theydoyaknow · Today 13:57 on page 1
I can't quote her comment as my keyboard is playing up.

"Skinny" is to slim, what "podgy" is to someone mildly overweight.
It is not a compliment. It means they are underweight, looking unhealthy as in "skin and bone".

There is a double standard that people are rightfully called out about rudeness to overweight/ obese people but get away with rude comments about the appearence or habits of people of a lighter body mass which is just as insulting.

"Slim" is fine, that's healthily proportioned. Unfortunately a lot of people don't recognise a healthy slim build when they see it because it's often a minority body shape.

Describing products as "skinny" is grim. Makes me think of school custard with the skin floating on top. Plus it's probably full of artifical sweetners and had half the nutrition processed out of it.

The irony is that "skinny" isn't a desirable look anyway and a healthier, toned look is more desirable now than in previous decades (heroin chic of the 90s)

I went through a stressful phase a few years ago and lost weight. I was told I was too skinny, called a bag of bones, hassled to eat biscuits and cake at work. Calling someone skinny is an insult.

I was in the healthy BMI range and astounded that so many different people commented on my weight. I'm usually mid size and it opened my eyes to how poeple are very sensitive to not use fat words, but have no shame the other way round.

OP, if MIL comments again I'd ask your DH to take her aside and tell her it's rude.

I'm 5'4 and 15,stones. 8 would be tiny for me(I'm 59) 11 is better. My mil called me "beefy" recently 😥

Def rude. I had this for a lot of my life. People don’t see how hurtful it can be. It’s totally different from using the word ‘slim’

I hate it, grew up with it! And I’ve always covered myself up to try and hide it. It’s rude and hurtful but some people assume they’re allowed. Yes, we can choose our battles but it really is just as rude as commenting on larger body shapes if it’s designed to shame. Maybe it depends on the context but I don’t think so.

Same here, when was younger it was seen
as a compliment. Maybe this is where MIL is comming from. Did you not ask her what she meant by it at the time?

When I was in my late teens/early twenties and before I started weight training in the gym (hello bigger thighs and a bigger behind) people used to call me skinny and I hated it. I wasn't underweight in any way, ate what I want etc. I was happy with how I looked but wouldn't have called myself skinny, just slim. I did used to call people out on it in the end. It's defo rude.

I find the phrase 'Unless I'm standing on your foot, I'd prefer you refrained from commenting on my weight' useful. I've rarely needed to use it more than once.

"You can’t be too thin on Mumsnet, you should know that by now!"

You defo can. I don't subscribe to the idea that MN is pro-skinny. I keep hearing of 'competitive undereating' on here, but nobody can point to real examples.

My aunt did this to me just this week. I have lost a lot of weight in the last few years. I actually have an eating disorder so struggle to not lose more as I am trying to beat it but she doesnt know that. My BMI is 19 so at the lower end of normal, but still normal which I am ok with.

She came in to where I work and immediately started saying I was too skinny and had lost too much weight. In her case, she has put on a lot of weight of the same period, and knowing her I would say that she is probably jealous (she has form.....hates anyone who looks better than her (in her opinion), it goes back years). but if I had said "Oh you are getting way too fat" I would have been an asshole, but she can tell me I am "too thin" and its ok?!

Ffs this does annoy me, just eat a few chocolate bars and nice things if you are underweight. What an awful problem to have…

Commenting on another person's appearance is always rude and unnecessary so yanbu however I'd probably let it go, put it down to her poor manners and ignore her if you can.

Exactly.

'Skinny' seems to have become a 'compliment' in recent years for some reason, but it's really not a good thing if meant literally.

And this sort of ignorant bollocks annoys me.

Do you seriously think underweight people 'just need to eat a few chocolate bars and nice things' to gain weight?

Twat.

Those makes me so mad, bit like saying just stop eating cakes and you won't be so fat 🤬 such ignorance