To think mil is rude for saying I’m skinny

[Ihavemyeye]

I’m 8 stone and 5’4 which is a healthy weight

Sorry can’t relate. Most people struggle to maintain a healthy weight/ be skinny, have to exercise regularly and watch what they eat. Seriously, can you not just have a few weeks on the sofa and work your way through some chocolate bars, pizza or crisps?

I’m not being sarcastic, genuinely trying to understand as someone who has to fight to maintain a healthy weight.

Hmm, 8 stone at 5 '4" on most people would look pretty thin. I'm 5 '3 and the lightest I've been as an adult was 8 stone 3. At that weight my face looked very gaunt and a few people said I'd lost too much.

Or swap the gym session for a Nando’s

The dictionary definition of skinny is "unattractively thin"

It's an insult and one I tired of when I was younger.

This doesn't come across in the least bit genuine

Wow......

Ok well speaking for myself, as someone who has to work very hard to not be unhealthily thin due to an ED, no I cannot just sit on the sofa and binge. Sure I would put on weight if I did that but I simply cannot do that. Physically I couldnt stomach enough food and emotionally I couldnt bring myself to put it into my mouth. "Nice" things are what you would consider to be normal, say a roast dinner without a huge side dish of guilt topped with a rich sauce of self hatred.

My friend has a serious health condition that leaves him struggling to keep weight on, in his 70's now and has found that age slowing him down has actually helped. What should he do? Make it worse by eating nutrient poor crap?!

Also, even without an ED.....why would anyone want to do that when it invites other health issues? Thin people with bad diets can get strokes/heart problems too you know.

The fact that you think that all it needs to get fat is veg out with pizza says that you think of food in the wrong way and thats why you struggle to keep weight off. Food is fuel first and foremost, it can be enjoyed but if the only "nice things" you can think of are pizza, junk and chocolate then it suggests to me that you dont actually view your day to day meals as enjoyable so focus on sweet/high carb stuff.....ie....you have a sugar addiction.

Oh and I dont go to the gym anymore as it was part of the worst time in my ED, so swapping that for a Nando's wouldnt work either!

You really cannot understand that some people can struggle to maintain a healthy weight from being underweight but you can understand people struggling to to maintain from being overweight? That some people tend towards overweight due to that just being how they are built and that some people tend towards slimness for the same reason and that it would be so easy for either person to go too far in the wrong direction?

Either you are so thick that I am impressed you managed to connect to the internet all by yourself or you are a GF.

I don't comment on people's bodies and I do think it a bit rude, but are you really, genuinely offended? Really? I'm sure you're very proud of the way you look and would hate to put on weight, let alone be overweight. This comes across as a little disingenuous.

Then perhaps you should stop letting your personal issues cloud your intelligence?

Maybe take time out to consider why underweight people aren't advised by their GPs to 'just eat more chocolate'?

Do you tell overweight people to 'just eat less chocolate'?

OP, if MIL comments again I'd ask your DH to take her aside and tell her it's rude

I totally agree that it's rude and there is no need for other people to be commenting on anyones weight, but the above sentence really irritates me. MIL was rude to OP, OP should just tell her to stop doing it, why ask her DH to do it for her?

Yeah cos it must only be fat people who dont like how they look.....all the skinnies must be all secretly smug about it....

FWIW I hate the way I look now far more than I did when I was a size 22......have a go at that with your jealousy amatuer psychology.

Yeah cos it must only be fat people who dont like how they look.....all the skinnies must be all secretly smug about it....

It's ridiculous isn't it?

So many people literally can't think outside of their own little bubble.

ok I get it.

I think it’s just really hard for a lot of people to have sympathy for people who are skinny and struggle to put on weight. After all skinny is more attractive and 2/3 of the adult population of the U.K. are overweight or obese.

I know if someone said to me to put on weight I would be thrilled! I’d also love to be called skinny!

Why though? You hate looking conventionally attractive?

I just think people throw it around a lot and mean it broadly as a compliment. Not that I would ever use it as one to anyone else.

People say it to me and I’m a perfectly healthy weight - I just assume they are being nice rather than bitchy - but I’m thinner than I used to be so I haven’t had years of boring comments about being too thin - have had friends for whom it’s been a real issue over the years.

I do sometimes wonder if people think about what they are implying though - by all means imply I need to put on weight but if you actually think this, and think this is important enough to mention than why are you not weighing your words more carefully?

Why/how did she say that? I’d expect she’s jealous. Did you not just say I’m slim and have a healthy BMI.

I don’t get that either socially, it’s more acceptable to be skinny (size 4/6) than a size 22

It is rude.

I've noticed since losing 7 stone that people feel they have much more of a pass to comment on my body now that I'm slimmer.

No one would ever have called me a fat bitch but I'm always being called a skinny bitch now and having people comment on my 'skinny legs'

I'm sure they think they're being complimentary but it doesn't feel that way.

No I hate being so thin that the saggy skin on my tummy (which stays post 40 by the way) looks like a bowl of badly made porridge. I hate that my boobs are so thin and skinny that they make spaniels ears look positively buxom. I hate that when I sit on a hard chair it hurts because of my bones. I hate that everyone tells me I am "too thin" but I am not allowed to say "Well you are too fat".

When I was big I didnt care. I dressed well, embraced my wobbly bits and was far less embarrassed to be naked than I am now.

The fact that you think a woman with an eating disorder is still conventionally attractive, is actually quite worrying.

No one would ever have called me a fat bitch but I'm always being called a skinny bitch now

But in English those don't mean the same thing, although they sound the same. Skinny bitch is a fun term you might say to a friend and is implying they are slim and attractive, sort of like you call a close friend a bitch in a funny way. Fat bitch is a rude term insulting someone's appearance and saying you don't like them.

Not that I use either of those terms, but in common use they aren't the same.

Perhaps it time that they were considered the same then.

Someones physical appearance alongside the word "bitch" is not ok in either direction. Black bitch anyone? No? I didnt think so..........

I think they're both offensive and unnecessary.

You well know that skinny bitch has connotations of beauty, desirability etc. Fat bitch the exact opposite.