Page 7 | To ask you for your small petty wins

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 2022-12-03T08:03:11+00:00

Reading another thread about house prices and I wondered AIBU to ask you for your small petty wins in life? Not those big, long-con revenges that require loads of planning, just the small moments when the universe served up someone or something what they deserved? I can't think of any that aren't quite outing at the moment but I'll have a think.

frankie001 · 05/12/2022 17:29

I’ve had to claim on my insurance as someone reversed into me. Luckily neighbour got their reg, as they drove off, even though he tried to stop them. My NCB is protected so while mine is being repaired I’ve asked for a nicer car than the like for like hire car would be. If they’d stopped and given me their insurance details I’d have gone for a cheaper hire, but right now, fuck them! Think I’m getting a weeks worth of a BMW 3 series.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 05/12/2022 17:37

Notaderrysgirl · 04/12/2022 22:51

I have posted this story before but whenever a thread about being petty comes up I like to share.

A work colleague of mine (who I didn’t like very much) had a plastic barbie plate that she was oddly attached to. She would use it all the time. One day she dropped it and it broke and she was very upset. She then found the same plate on eBay and placed a bid for it. I decided to bid against her to drive the price up. This stupid plastic plate went up to £35 before i stopped and let her win the auction. She still talks about the “mystery bidder” who was also so desperate to buy the plate. Yes I am sad and incredibly petty.

Nicely done!

NotToBeShaked · 05/12/2022 17:39

Autumnnewname · 04/12/2022 21:35

How very petty

I would imagine the person dealing with the FOI sees it as a small win that you're the one paying council tax to fund them providing you with that information

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...and also that you are keeping them in a job, which is paid by the public.

changeme4this · 05/12/2022 17:50

Saracen · 05/12/2022 13:18

No, it isn't just you. I can certify that this is objectively hilarious 😆😆I bet you will treasure that moment for years.

I wonder what response you'll get from the family in future when you're all in the car together and you ask, "Is anyone going to open the gate, or shall I..." as you delicately lift one butt cheek in readiness.

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the memory brightens a dull moment… 😂

inthedeepshade · 05/12/2022 17:59

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2022 15:12

This isn’t mine but a friends. Families leaving a firework display along a narrow canal towpath in dark. Man rudely pushing past and deliberately hitting prams with his walking stick. So friend stopped with their pram so rude man could pass. He stepped to wrong side and fell in canal. Someone did help him out.

This really tickled me!

IchWill · 05/12/2022 18:31

Amusedbush, your story reminds me of a childhood incident. My mum was married to a violent pig of a man, he physically abused me often, a 6ft 16st man versus a child. I hated him with every inch of my being.

One day, my brother lost his ball amongst the grass in the garden that was well overdue a mow, he pushed my brother out the way and barked, "MOVE! I'll fucking get it!" and he stomped across the garden, while we were stood at back door.

Anyway, as he stomped across, he trod on a rake hidden in the grass, and I swear it sprang up and twatted him full on in the face just like in a cartoon! We were absolutely dying laughing, I had to run upstairs in case me laughing made him hit me. I buried my face in my pillow in my room, to stifle the weeping laughter. My whole body was aching and shaking from laughter. It was absolutely brilliant.

Not just the vision of it hitting him in the face, but his bewildered face immediately afterwards as he was obviously seeing stars.

Still laugh now when I think about it. Almost 40 years on. The wanker deserved it. And more.

Americano75 · 05/12/2022 19:06

IchWill · 05/12/2022 18:31

Amusedbush, your story reminds me of a childhood incident. My mum was married to a violent pig of a man, he physically abused me often, a 6ft 16st man versus a child. I hated him with every inch of my being.

One day, my brother lost his ball amongst the grass in the garden that was well overdue a mow, he pushed my brother out the way and barked, "MOVE! I'll fucking get it!" and he stomped across the garden, while we were stood at back door.

Anyway, as he stomped across, he trod on a rake hidden in the grass, and I swear it sprang up and twatted him full on in the face just like in a cartoon! We were absolutely dying laughing, I had to run upstairs in case me laughing made him hit me. I buried my face in my pillow in my room, to stifle the weeping laughter. My whole body was aching and shaking from laughter. It was absolutely brilliant.

Not just the vision of it hitting him in the face, but his bewildered face immediately afterwards as he was obviously seeing stars.

Still laugh now when I think about it. Almost 40 years on. The wanker deserved it. And more.

You win this thread, that's magnificent!

IchWill · 05/12/2022 19:12

Americano75 · 05/12/2022 19:06

You win this thread, that's magnificent!

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Ha! Thank you. It was such a small incident in the ten years he was in our lives. But honestly was the absolute most amazing thing to witness.

I'm still wondering when karma will properly catch up with the revolting specimen though.

He had the audacity to try and attend my mum's funeral in 2019. Thankfully, he got the message that he certainly was not welcome, I'm not sure how I'd had risen above the situation to avoid a scene if he'd shown up, so I'm glad he actually did one thing right in his sorry life. But in an odd twist of fate, his brother was one of the undertakers. But I had no issue with his brother, or other people in his family that turned up to show their respects.

Anyway, sorry. I'm derailing the thread. But yes, it was sweet, sweet karma that day. I can picture everyomemt so clearly.

Americano75 · 05/12/2022 19:13

IchWill · 05/12/2022 19:12

Ha! Thank you. It was such a small incident in the ten years he was in our lives. But honestly was the absolute most amazing thing to witness.

I'm still wondering when karma will properly catch up with the revolting specimen though.

He had the audacity to try and attend my mum's funeral in 2019. Thankfully, he got the message that he certainly was not welcome, I'm not sure how I'd had risen above the situation to avoid a scene if he'd shown up, so I'm glad he actually did one thing right in his sorry life. But in an odd twist of fate, his brother was one of the undertakers. But I had no issue with his brother, or other people in his family that turned up to show their respects.

Anyway, sorry. I'm derailing the thread. But yes, it was sweet, sweet karma that day. I can picture everyomemt so clearly.

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I hope it really fucking hurt the bastard.

ColdHandsHotHead · 05/12/2022 19:23

PocketBattleship · 04/12/2022 02:50

I doubt he even notices.

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Oh, he'll notice all right.

ColdHandsHotHead · 05/12/2022 19:36

Autumnnewname · 04/12/2022 21:35

How very petty

I would imagine the person dealing with the FOI sees it as a small win that you're the one paying council tax to fund them providing you with that information

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Keep going and you'll get yourself added to their list of vexatious complainants and they won't reply any more.

OM82 · 05/12/2022 19:43

Another car one...years ago I was parking my car on the street to go to the doctor's and I accidentally scraped the next car. It was a tiny scratch on the (old style plastic) bumper but I left a note with my details.

That evening I got a call from the owner rantiy and raving and swearing down the phone at me. I kept on apologising and saying sorry but I had left a note and he said it didn't matter as his neighbour had got my details. I was saying it's the principle though. He was so rude I ended up crying and putting the phone down on him.

The next day we agreed I'd pay the garage for the bodywork repair rather than do an insurance claim, even though I didn't have much spare cash. He told me the garage had quoted a few hundred pounds and I used the same garage so I would pop by to pay.

I used to use this garage loads for my crappy old car and would put up posters for their band around the uni where I was. So when I went the next day they said it was only £50. I queried this and they said he's so obnoxious that they overcharge him all the time so had to tell him the price he'd normally pay for that sort of work, but they'd do it at cost for me. Serves him right for being so rude.

Original poster

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 05/12/2022 19:47

Thanks for these, your pettiness is delighting me and I'm so pleased that others seem to be enjoying their tiny wins as much as I am!

OP posts:

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 05/12/2022 20:22

Some super petty come backs here.

As to @Remainiac , why not just park legally then you'll never get a parking ticket?

pointsettia1 · 05/12/2022 20:26

IchWill · 05/12/2022 18:31

Amusedbush, your story reminds me of a childhood incident. My mum was married to a violent pig of a man, he physically abused me often, a 6ft 16st man versus a child. I hated him with every inch of my being.

One day, my brother lost his ball amongst the grass in the garden that was well overdue a mow, he pushed my brother out the way and barked, "MOVE! I'll fucking get it!" and he stomped across the garden, while we were stood at back door.

Anyway, as he stomped across, he trod on a rake hidden in the grass, and I swear it sprang up and twatted him full on in the face just like in a cartoon! We were absolutely dying laughing, I had to run upstairs in case me laughing made him hit me. I buried my face in my pillow in my room, to stifle the weeping laughter. My whole body was aching and shaking from laughter. It was absolutely brilliant.

Not just the vision of it hitting him in the face, but his bewildered face immediately afterwards as he was obviously seeing stars.

Still laugh now when I think about it. Almost 40 years on. The wanker deserved it. And more.

Love that one, crying with laughter!! 😂

BabyFour2023 · 05/12/2022 20:28

Ibouncetothebeat · 04/12/2022 13:38

I put my potty training toddler into ex-h car without a nappy. Waited 10minutes until I knew he would be on the motorway to call and let him know.

Surely this would be worse for your child who may be wet, soiled and uncomfortable? I don’t get it?

IchWill · 05/12/2022 20:28

pointsettia1 · 05/12/2022 20:26

Love that one, crying with laughter!! 😂

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It couldn't have been any more perfect. It was honestly like a cartoon. Square in the boat race. TWANG!!! 🤣

BabyFour2023 · 05/12/2022 20:29

IchWill · 05/12/2022 20:28

It couldn't have been any more perfect. It was honestly like a cartoon. Square in the boat race. TWANG!!! 🤣

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This is fantastic!!!!

pointsettia1 · 05/12/2022 20:35

IchWill · 05/12/2022 20:28

It couldn't have been any more perfect. It was honestly like a cartoon. Square in the boat race. TWANG!!! 🤣

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Beautiful! The best ones are where male aggressiveness and entitlement get their comeuppance! 😁

RaraRachael · 05/12/2022 20:35

Our neighbours hated our old cat. She wasn't even allowed to walk on the pavement outside their house. When she died we got her cremated and scattered her ashes in some of her favourite places and a few bits under their benches so every time they sit on them, she's silently laughing up at their fat arses 😁

Ibouncetothebeat · 05/12/2022 20:39

@BabyFour2023 No, he’s quite good. He wouldn’t/didn’t wet himself in the time it took for him to pull over. I think the anxiety that he may wee in his car was what I was going for.

BessieSurtees · 05/12/2022 20:46

@Ibouncetothebeat yeh cos an anxious driver looking to pull over is exactly what you want with your baby in the car 🤷🏻‍♀️

@amusedbush I love the dog ball incident

and of course the rake @IchWill I’m still laughing, priceless.

Ibouncetothebeat · 05/12/2022 20:55

@BessieSurtees yes it was. Thank you very much 🙂

chickbean · 05/12/2022 21:10

beatsin8s · 04/12/2022 20:43

I disagree. If you've parked illegally then pay the fine, don't take it out on councils who are stretched enough. It affects the little people if they have less money for communities, no one else. Park where you're allowed to or pay the fine and stop being entitled.

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Absolutely. Thanks for putting up everyone's council tax Remaniac!

DemBonesDemBones · 05/12/2022 21:33

@Ibouncetothebeat I really hope he didn't pull over on the hard shoulder