To ask you for your small petty wins

[OgdensGoneNutFlake]

Reading another thread about house prices and I wondered AIBU to ask you for your small petty wins in life?

Not those big, long-con revenges that require loads of planning, just the small moments when the universe served up someone or something what they deserved?

I can't think of any that aren't quite outing at the moment but I'll have a think.

This summer during the heatwave. Local lido has a huge kids area but a posh daddy decided he was going to clog up the slow swimming lane with his kid rather mix with the hoi polloi. When I (politely) pointed out the kids area, he drawled:”Don’t spoil a nice time.” I said “it’s amazing how seemingly educated people can have real problems with reading basic signage.” I swam away (slowly) and when I turned round at the other I saw him getting out and go to the family bit (where his kid had a whale of a time on the slides.)

Love this!

When I was a student, me and my friends moved out of our flat and the agency weren't returning our deposit despite us chasing them. Eventually we went to their office with the big burly dad of one of the girls and he persuaded them to give us our money back there and then. Happy day. It was an even happier day a couple of weeks later when the agency gave me the whole deposit back (again!) by bank transfer. Being skint students, we obviously kept it!

When me and my brother were growing up he used to tell our mum sooo many lies about me that she would always believe and punish me for, so I used to clean my trainers with his tooth brush - including the underneath.

Doesn’t matter, she knows

I had an absolute bell-end of a boss years ago (when I was younger & much pettier)

Whilst working my notice I was to submit his expenses (which amounted to several hundred pounds) - I was supposed to send original receipts to Accounts dept. and file photocopies as back up which remained in my dept. files

I filed the photocopies but oopsie I 'forgot' to send the originals off for processing.

On my last day I took home the originals and burnt them in the fireplace 🤗
Sorry, not at all sorry.

At school there was a girl who was always horrible to everyone, really mean and nasty. Fast forward 10 years and one day I had a water infection, the gp told me to hand in a water sample at reception - imagine my glee when I handed in my water sample to the receptionist who was indeed the nasty girl I was at school with! Kinda wish it was a stool sample though!

I put my potty training toddler into ex-h car without a nappy. Waited 10minutes until I knew he would be on the motorway to call and let him know.

Went to a Christmas fate and afterwards I was putting ds into his car seat. We were parked on the road next to a very tiny pavement with not much room to get by even going single file.

I spotted two women approaching and said, “I won’t be a second”. She didn’t care, sniffed the air and barged passed causing me to nearly trip. I called after her that “manners are free” and she started going off like a lunatic. I think she might even have called me a bitch (just for the record after saying that manners were free I didn’t utter another word).

Anyway as she went to huff off up the road she turned too fast, fell over her own feet and landed in a bush. I pissed myself laughing.

Silly woman. I don’t usually believe in karma but I saw it that day.

One of the best things I've ever read.

I will be doing this 😂😂😂😂

My dh annoyed me so on a whim I threw his pyjamas out of the window and they're still there on the extension roof and he still doesn't know.

ExH was particularly lazy and rose at about 10am, later at weekends (must have needed a break after his hectic weeks). We had two under five. One day I just decided not to stop 2yo going into his room. I knew 2yo would make a beeline for ex's phone and then probably drop it in the loo, which he did, twice.

Ex did not change his behaviour so cut the pass/ag shit and divorced him

If DH annoys me I hang his clothes on the line with the old manky clothes pegs, and I keep the nice new pegs for my clothes. Very petty and he would never notice, but I do and it makes me feel better.

Always gives me a chuckle when I’m driving at the speed limit or just under it on some of the country roads near me, and some twat in a big car is right up my bum swerving back and forth desperate to overtake, finally overtakes at the first possible opportunity, and then I catch up with them 2 minutes later stuck behind a tractor.

DH properly annoyed me one day so I ironed trouser creases into his boxer shorts. Just enough irritation to make him uncomfortable.

(obviously I don't normally iron his boxers! )

There's a meme that comes round every year which just happens to have my brother's name in it. I repost it every year. I'm not close to my brother and I can imagine it's annoying, for a variety of reasons.

One of my uncles wife’s is a bitch. She spread so many lies in the family over the years. Treated my lovely grandparents like shit, but came to their funerals. Upset my mum etc. Horrible woman. Really don’t know why my uncle is still married to her.

Before my grandparents died it was tradition that all Christmas cards got dropped at their house and at every visit you looked through the pile to see if any where yours.
Once I found out what she had been doing I would only put my uncles name on the envelope, knowing full well she would go through the pile and see everyone else had both couples names on them.
I also rip up any cards that she sends to us.

Newly minted atheists talk about religion like a man talking about an ex he isn't quite over.

😘👌🏼

Years ago someone over took me (I was already going the speed limit). He came absolutely flying down the road and was right up my backside before he over took me. About 300 meters ahead, there he was pulled over with his hazards on as the bonnet had come flying up and smashed his windscreen. The young man was absolutely fine but I do hope he learnt his lesson!

As a student I went over my overdraft limit for a day by a small amount. Royal Bank of Scotland sent me a letter to tell me this with a £25 admin fee for the letter.

I vowed to claw back that £25 so after I graduated I kept the account with a pound in it with paper statements for 20 years and happily declined their requests over the years to switch to paperless statements. Not sure but I would like to think It cost them more than £25.

You are my God.

I had an account with a building society. Had it ages and had a paying in book to manage the account ( was in the early 90s) I lost the book and called in branch to get another. They told me it would be a £25 admin fee to issue a new book. I was furious I,d had the account since school and never lost the book before so I asked how much it cost to close the account. She said it didn’t cost anything to close the account so I said I would take a cheque and go across the road to another bank and open an account. They decided to “waive” the fee and issue me with a new book.

I used to be an office cleaner, but due to flexibility hours a few of them would still be working. One guy was particularly rude, throwing paper and missing the bin on purpose knowing I'd have to pick it up, leaving his coffee cup on his desk so id have to take it to the kitchen, just small stuff but basically you're only the cleaner type of stuff.
One day I was cleaning the men's toilets when he came in and had a piss right in front of me even though he could used another toilet.
After that I used to wipe his mug out with the cloth I'd used to clean the toilet seats. Did I care? No.