Page 5 | To ask you for your small petty wins

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 2022-12-03T08:03:11+00:00

Reading another thread about house prices and I wondered AIBU to ask you for your small petty wins in life? Not those big, long-con revenges that require loads of planning, just the small moments when the universe served up someone or something what they deserved? I can't think of any that aren't quite outing at the moment but I'll have a think.

1982mommaof4 · 04/12/2022 22:32

PortiasBiscuit · 03/12/2022 09:22

I used to put a little bit of glitter on DHs pillow if he’d annoyed me. Even after a morning shower there was still traces of it for work.

Doing this!!

HelpMeGetThrough · 04/12/2022 22:33

Has to be another driving one.

My old boss (arsehole boss) was following me to a client site, as he'd never been to their office or the city before.

I deliberately held him at the traffic lights so he had to wait as I went. Took him another 30+ minutes to find the place, as he had no sat nav.

Dick move on my part, but he turned up late and very wound up.

Mylittlepea · 04/12/2022 22:34

Years ago (early 90’s) I worked as a chalet girl in a ski resort - very budget hotel attracting groups of young people on the piss. Some guests left their bedrooms in a terrible state and I had to clean them. Skid marks/vomit in the toilet/on the floor/dirty underwear etc. If they’d left their camera in the room, I used to take great pleasure in using up their whole film taking snaps of their own filth. They would have no clue until they posted their films off to truprint back home and I giggled to myself at the thought of their faces when receiving their holiday photos back in the post🤣🤣🤣

Caesarsaladrevenge · 04/12/2022 22:39

Two days after my ex told me that our marriage was over, he insisted on having a family day out. He had been behaving quite badly for a while, but that day out was horrendous.

He took charge, but didn't plan anything. We drove around in circles, then found something to visit, but no dogs allowed, I suggested he do it with DC and I would walk the dog, but then DC2 burst into tears because by that point we'd been driving around aimlessly for ages, DC were starving, he hadn't brought any snacks and it was supposed to be a 'famiky' day out.

We ended up walking along a very blustery beach, it was cold (February) and I eventually managed to track down some sausage rolls in a corner shop. The situation was sort of salvaged for the DC but it was a pretty miserable day and I was grimly playing happy families whilst falling apart inside.

Ex decided we'd stop at our local pizza restaurant for a family treat on the way home. DC delighted as this wasn't something we usually did except on special occasions.

Ex and I always used to choose two different pizzas that we both wanted, cut them in half and swap half so we could both have some of each. We had the usual "oh this one sounds good but so does that one" conversation but I never actually said what I was going to get. I waited for him to order and then ordered a caesar salad. The look on his face. It was such a shitty day and actually got worse for me later when I found some stuff on his phone when he was putting the DC to bed. But that little petty moment of revenge was worth every mouthful of the awful dressing on that salad. It was probably the first time I had not done what he wanted/expected and he couldn't believe it.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 04/12/2022 22:43

Remainiac · Today 20:10
Whenever I get a parking ticket I pay it immediately so it’s £25 rather than £60, then submit an FOI request to the council asking for details of how many parking tickets have been issued in that particular place and how much money the council has made from them. I do this knowing it costs the council around £300 to respond.

Wow! Aren't you a gem! Just think what that £300 could cover for those in need in the community.

You parked illegally, you should just pay up, you were in the wrong.
Your behaviour is appalling.

LadyFlumpalot · 04/12/2022 22:46

Driving along a road out of a town, there is always a row of nine or ten cars parked outside their houses on the right hand side, so, ordinarily it would be my right of way. On this occasion however the lead car of a queue coming towards me was well over halfway through so I stopped to let them continue. Van driver behind me pulled around me to continue on, giving me the finger as he went past, just to find himself having to stop as he was now nose to nose with the oncoming cars. He had to reverse back past and behind me again. It was glorious and he didn't look at me once whilst he was reversing either.

And just in case it comes up, giving way to the cars already coming through is absolutely in the Highway Code.

Notaderrysgirl · 04/12/2022 22:51

I have posted this story before but whenever a thread about being petty comes up I like to share.

A work colleague of mine (who I didn’t like very much) had a plastic barbie plate that she was oddly attached to. She would use it all the time. One day she dropped it and it broke and she was very upset. She then found the same plate on eBay and placed a bid for it. I decided to bid against her to drive the price up. This stupid plastic plate went up to £35 before i stopped and let her win the auction. She still talks about the “mystery bidder” who was also so desperate to buy the plate. Yes I am sad and incredibly petty.

MyLoveIsYourLove0xO · 04/12/2022 22:56

Houselamp · 04/12/2022 22:00

I was late to school when I was 13 after my bike was stolen and a horrible teacher yelled at me and humiliated me in front of the whole year group assembly, he yelled for so long and even called me a 'pathetic little girl' when I looked upset. Looking back at it it was a massive overreaction and there was no need for it at all.

I wasn't naturally naughty but it made me feel better to do random petty shit to annoy that man for the rest of the year.
I moved his wheelie chair so it was leant too far back and hid the handle so he couldn't fix it.
I swapped the lids round on his whiteboard pens constantly so he always started writing with the wrong colour.
I hid his black biros but left loads of crayons around the room and in his drawers.
I took the rubber foot off of one of his table legs so it was always wobbly.
I stole all the spare pushpins off the noticeboards, and then started half unpinning the displays so things fell down all the time.
My desk was near the door where he hung his jacket and during a lesson I used a seam ripper from home ec and made holes in the bottom seams of his pockets.
I took the batteries out of the clock on several occasions.
I flipped his roller blind over the top of the roll a few times so it would never open the whole way.

I dont think he ever knew anyone was doing that stuff to mess with him and he never seemed to suspect me, but I felt better every time he would get annoyed at something that I had done. He was always cursing the dispplays that fell down.

Love this!!

gbconfused · 04/12/2022 23:06

Saracen · 04/12/2022 00:51

My heart used to sink when my bus to work or home from work was being driven by The Idiot. Bad tempered, impatient, and heavy on the brakes, he always made me feel carsick on the long rural route.

One day he was involved in an accident. I had a very good view from the top deck. He really gave the other driver what-for, then collected my contact details as witness. He was completely sure he was in the right.

I was delighted to receive the form in the post from the bus company asking for a statement about what I'd seen. I explained how the bus driver's road rage had been a key factor in the collision. (The bus driver had sounded his horn and screamed while accelerating toward a vehicle which had just cut him up. The alarmed elderly car driver slammed on the brakes and the two collided.) For good measure, I mentioned that the bus driver had form for it and described a few previous incidents in which he'd been lucky to avoid causing a crash.

Not Wakefield are you? My exh is a bus driver sounds just like him!!

gbconfused · 04/12/2022 23:22

jmh740 · 04/12/2022 21:29

My ex was a violent aggressive bully, we had an argument once and he kicked my car and caused quite a bit of damage. (Wasnt the first time he had caused my property damage)I gave him 24 hours to pay for the damage or told him I would report it to the police. He refused to pay and told me I wouldn't dare report him, so I plucked up the courage and reported it. He received a caution, fast forward a few years and he tried to join the police force but wasn't allowed because he had a caution on his record.

Thank goodness. We don't need someone like that'protecting' us

Daffodilsandtuplips · 04/12/2022 23:27

My sister in law has delusions of grandeur, think Hyacinth Bouquet to us ‘Dingles’.
She lives in a very nice house in a nice area but it’s not the BEST area. The Best area is a Market town on a river with Georgian buildings and private schools.
Whenever she writes her address she always puts the Market town on it instead of the actual town she lives in. They are in the same county.
I take great pleasure in addressing her Christmas card with the correct address as per her post code. She’s harmless really and we get on but…
It’s the little things.

FreezyWater · 04/12/2022 23:34

DH is previous about his lawn. He really pissed me off one day so I mowed a very naughty word into it.

Felt so much better. He didnt notice but hey ho 😁

Ellessdee · 04/12/2022 23:45

My son's dad started working cash in hand for his mate about 6 months before COVID hit because he was pissed off his CMS had increased. He was on around 45k a year but only declared 16k and his dickhead mate agreed to give him the rest in paper. When furlough happened (and he was furloughed for a long time) he could only claim 80% of that 16k and he was FURIOUS. We have mutual friends who can't stand him yet he used to brag to them about how he'd 'got one over on me'. I reported him but nothing happened. This was joyous karma.

FreezyWater · 04/12/2022 23:48

That should say precious!

HarrietSchulenberg · 05/12/2022 00:28

Years ago I worked in an office where the caretaker/doorman/maintenance man took a huge dislike to me. I never knew why but it was obvious and other people commented on it, so I knew I wasn't imagining things. He was in charge of the photocopying room and was very protective of it, and he often accused me of jamming the machines and messing up the coloured paper supplies, when I hadn't. He had me in tears on a couple of occasions, which really isn't like me.
On the day I left I popped a handmade card on his desk, thanking him for all his help and support during my time there. The front of the card was a photocopied picture of my hand sticking up two fingers - I wore a very distinctive ring so he would know it was mine.
I heard he turned purple when he opened it 😁.

PlentyOFool · 05/12/2022 00:57

Ellessdee · 04/12/2022 23:45

My son's dad started working cash in hand for his mate about 6 months before COVID hit because he was pissed off his CMS had increased. He was on around 45k a year but only declared 16k and his dickhead mate agreed to give him the rest in paper. When furlough happened (and he was furloughed for a long time) he could only claim 80% of that 16k and he was FURIOUS. We have mutual friends who can't stand him yet he used to brag to them about how he'd 'got one over on me'. I reported him but nothing happened. This was joyous karma.

Even second hand, that is sooooooo satisfying!

changeme4this · 05/12/2022 02:11

This is probably only humerous to myself... we have a gate across the driveway we haven't connected to the electricity yet, so requires someone to get out of the car to open and shut it as we come and go. Usually its me.

Car full of younger family plus DH who was driving, we had been out for dinner and no one wanted to get out to open the gate to let DH drive in, so I ended up starting to get out of the car, and having felt slightly off on the way home, inadvertently (or maybe not) let off a massive amount of wind, and quickly slammed the car door behind me.

if only you could have seen the eyeballs glaring at me as they drove on past...

Bog · 05/12/2022 06:59

PeaceJoySleep · 04/12/2022 19:58

They don't have the right to know how she died

Show quote history

No, they don't. My wife was adopted and her biological mother is vile. So no they don't have any right to know.

Lavendersquare · 05/12/2022 07:20

Remainiac · 04/12/2022 20:10

Whenever I get a parking ticket I pay it immediately so it’s £25 rather than £60, then submit an FOI request to the council asking for details of how many parking tickets have been issued in that particular place and how much money the council has made from them. I do this knowing it costs the council around £300 to respond.

Then no doubt complain when the council tax goes up each year

RedHelenB · 05/12/2022 07:39

Remainiac · 04/12/2022 20:10

Whenever I get a parking ticket I pay it immediately so it’s £25 rather than £60, then submit an FOI request to the council asking for details of how many parking tickets have been issued in that particular place and how much money the council has made from them. I do this knowing it costs the council around £300 to respond.

Great for all us council tax payers. Maybe just park where you're supposed to or suck up the fines like moat people do.

lightlypoached · 05/12/2022 07:42

Yesterday in the car.

Merging traffic lanes where you take it in turns, busy london traffic. Woman in suv next to me was driving very aggressively and tailgating the car in front of her. And then wouldn't let me in. Because you know it makes SO much difference to gain a car's length in nose to tail traffic.

At the next lights I was in front and wouldn't let her in 😂. She was furious and wildly gesticulating 😂😂😂😂. I waved and smiled then carried on singing happy Christmas songs.

inthedeepshade · 05/12/2022 08:33

Mylittlepea · 04/12/2022 22:34

Years ago (early 90’s) I worked as a chalet girl in a ski resort - very budget hotel attracting groups of young people on the piss. Some guests left their bedrooms in a terrible state and I had to clean them. Skid marks/vomit in the toilet/on the floor/dirty underwear etc. If they’d left their camera in the room, I used to take great pleasure in using up their whole film taking snaps of their own filth. They would have no clue until they posted their films off to truprint back home and I giggled to myself at the thought of their faces when receiving their holiday photos back in the post🤣🤣🤣

Absolutely brilliant 😂

inthedeepshade · 05/12/2022 08:39

My DH is totally rubbish at loading our (admittedly crap) dishwasher. He always chucks stuff in willy nilly, overloads it, puts bowls and pans facing down on the bottom so that the water can't reach the top shelf and all the glasses and coffee cups come out filthy. I've tried to explain but he gets very annoyed with me, I suspect because he secretly thinks domestic chores like this are "beneath" him, although he'd never admit that.

Each time he does this I make sure to use a filthy cup for his next cup of tea.

IchWill · 05/12/2022 09:57

In my 20s, I worked in IT. Got a new job, oddly the hiring manager wasn't my line manager, and the first day I met line manager she took an instant dislike to me. Possibly as she didn't hire me herself, I don't know. But she was utterly vile.

One of the company perks is that they stocked the staff room fridge with M&S sandwiches, salads and drinks, so everyone got a free lunch. I later learned it just meant that most people worked through their lunch as a result, which is maybe why the company did it? Anyway, come Friday, there'd always be a ton of food going off over the coming weekend that would get binned. So I asked the lady who bought in the food if I could take it all on a Friday to donate to a local homeless charity. To which she happily agreed. No word of a lie, most weeks I filled a bin sack with all the food that was left over.

The first week I did it, I came in Monday and the manager yelled, "Oh, here's Mother Teresa! Off round the streets hanging out with the homeless." I actually just dropped the food off to a volunteer, but wouldn't have been ashamed to go round the streets "hanging out with the homeless". She started making digs at me constantly over anything after that.

One day, I didn't have any work to do, as no IT requests were in my job queue and so asked her for some work. She asked me to start an IT equipment audit, so I went off to look for audit software and she came over and said, "No, you can do it manually!" I had to write down every single mouse, keyboard and monitor in that building.

Anyway, two other things besides her bullying was she took a 10 minute fag break every hour without fail. Which equated to an hour a day, which was almost a day a week.

She also refused to buy licensed software (as IT Manager) and everything was pirated. She also used to buy CDs in Our Price, rip the disc and make copies on work computer, using work blank discs and dish them out to her workmates, before returning the CD for a refund.

The final straw was she was going on holiday and sent an email to a colleague telling her to assign all IT requests to me while she was away, so that when I couldn't cope and failed, she could sack me. The mailbox she sent it to, I also had access to, as the admin lady was only part time and she'd granted me and another desktop support engineer access. So I saw the email before the admin lady deleted it very quickly.

That was it for me, I waited until she went on leave and handed my notice in to my manager's boss (who was hardly ever in that office, which is why she got away with so much). I didn't have the balls to say she was a bully, but I did say that there wasn't enough work for me. I left there and then.

My ex-manager was then interrupted during her holiday to say I'd left. Then when she returned her boss had done some digging about and concluded that there was indeed not enough work to warrant the role that I had left, so he got rid of the role. A colleague I stayed in touch with said my ex-manager was apoplectic with rage about this.

But not as angry as she was when the Federation Against Software theft made an unannounced visit a few weeks later (following my anonymous tip-off) and found all the pirated software in her possession. The company got a big fine and as IT Manager, all the blame fell at her feet.

I don't know what happened after the fine as my ex-colleague who had been keeping me in the loop also left. But it gave me HUGE satisfaction that I got revenge and a better job.

Saracen · 05/12/2022 10:00

takeitonthegin · 04/12/2022 21:27

Cousin insists on having her DChildren christened. She isn't religious, doesn't take the children to church but insisted vehemently that they were to be christened. She had a few too many wines at a family gathering just before the christening of her eldest child and confided in another cousin that she has no interest in religion or ever taking the children to church but she thought it was a brilliant way to get some money and gifts. Each of her DC were gifted a bible by myself and several other family members as their christening gift after that conversation.

I love it!