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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH farted on my meal

294 replies

BeverlyGoldberg · 01/12/2022 18:51

AIBU not to want to finish a meal that DH farted on?

Context: I had eaten maybe half my food, DH had finished the record time as usual - positions his arse next to my plate - with his arse touching the table - and farts.

He thinks I'm overreacting that I called him an animal and didn't eat the remainder of my food.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 01/12/2022 20:09

minou123 · 01/12/2022 19:51

No, it's true. I remember it.

The title if the thread was innocuous, something like "AIBU to be angry?"

Then the story was, the Op was finishing her coursework or dissertation for Uni. She got into an argument with her boyfriend. Her BF got really angry and ejaculated over her coursework.

Naturally, the first few comments were "?" "Wtf" "are you a troll" etc

It could be the Op was on a wind up, but the thread did exist.

Sorry to go off topic

Show quote history

That’s gross and disgusting.
It shows a subhuman way of being.
A dog wouldn’t do that.

@BeverlyGoldberg If this is really true, leave this idiot.

notsureconfused · 01/12/2022 20:12

What an absolutely vile pig. I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. Get rid!

Thepossibility · 01/12/2022 20:12

Don't do another thing for him.
Not. A. Thing.

Mamaneedsadrink · 01/12/2022 20:12

Wow, that's beyond disgusting. Sadly that makes me feel better for myself, things could be much worse (pissed off at DH atm)

SeatonCarew · 01/12/2022 20:14

VladmirsPoutine · 01/12/2022 19:13

I would genuinely divorce my husband if he did this. I'm not even joking. This is worthy of divorce.

This 100%.

Get Rid and cite this in your divorce petition, regardless of whether it makes any difference nowadays.This is bad enough to deserve national shaming.

What on earth possessed you to marry this Neanderthal?

pinheadlarry · 01/12/2022 20:15

I think he did that on purpose

mam0918 · 01/12/2022 20:15

Yeah my DH knows I DISPISE farting so wouldnt even dare.

The cat casually strolled up and puked on my food once, DH still finds that hillarious though years later.

Cant really punish the cat but I am of the mindset that you NEVER fuck with a persons food.

WhatarethePolicedoingaboutApricotCity · 01/12/2022 20:20

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...🙄

coodawoodashooda · 01/12/2022 20:22

BeverlyGoldberg · 01/12/2022 19:51

I've said he should make alternative arrangements for his recovery as I'm not putting up with him. I have one child to look after I don't want another.

Thanks to everyone for making me less like a lunatic. He appears to think I'm ridiculous for not wanting him to fart on my food.

We're entering the gaslighting phase now - apparently he wasn't that near, it didn't smell, I'm exaggerating.

For those asking if it was intentional - he needed fart, he manoeuvred to the table and aimed it at me.

I wish I was a troll. I'm sadly not Confused

Whichever pp said that he should basically have put your dinner in the bucket explains exactly how awful his intention was.

ImustLearn2Cook · 01/12/2022 20:24

If you always cook for him start crushing up some Imodium and putting it his food so he becomes really constipated for days. Then switch to putting laxative in his breakfast and hope he shits himself at work.

offyoufuckcuntychops · 01/12/2022 20:29

All this thread confirms is that there are a lot of very po-faced people on MN.

Save "LTB" for partners who are genuinely abusive, not partners who are puerile.

birder · 01/12/2022 20:30

🍕🍷🍫Flowers All fart free OP. Huge commiserations.

PlainJaneSuperBrain99 · 01/12/2022 20:31

What's he usually like?

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/12/2022 20:32

offyoufuckcuntychops · 01/12/2022 20:29

All this thread confirms is that there are a lot of very po-faced people on MN.

Save "LTB" for partners who are genuinely abusive, not partners who are puerile.

😂

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/12/2022 20:33

offyoufuckcuntychops · 01/12/2022 20:29

All this thread confirms is that there are a lot of very po-faced people on MN.

Save "LTB" for partners who are genuinely abusive, not partners who are puerile.

He sounds a right scruffy munger.

mustbefreakingmad · 01/12/2022 20:33

That's disgusting, I wouldn't have eaten it either

Marmunia10661975 · 01/12/2022 20:36

I just think this is hilarious.

iswintercoming · 01/12/2022 20:36

What a vile, immature and disrespectful thing to do, sorry OP.

slowquickstep · 01/12/2022 20:40

After i stabbed him in the arse with my fork i would be packing his bag and sending him back to his Mother.

ShandaLear · 01/12/2022 20:41

ImustLearn2Cook · 01/12/2022 20:24

If you always cook for him start crushing up some Imodium and putting it his food so he becomes really constipated for days. Then switch to putting laxative in his breakfast and hope he shits himself at work.

This all day every day. Then he’ll have something to fart about.

DesertIslandCondiment · 01/12/2022 20:41

Munger Minger whatever but gross.

MrsClarkandPercy · 01/12/2022 20:42

What?!

Kind of a strange thing to do ... not my kind of joke really. And I totally understand why you wouldn't eat it. Is he stupid? Does he know what he actually put all over your food? Tiny particles of whatever was being eliminated from his body as totally poisonous?? ....

VestaTilley · 01/12/2022 20:43

He’s a vile pig. What are his redeeming features?

What he did is disgusting and disrespectful.

BadNomad · 01/12/2022 20:43

It's degrading. Disrespectful. I'll bet my house this is not the only way he demeans you.

ImissSclub7 · 01/12/2022 20:46

Merlott · 01/12/2022 19:02

What did I just read

😂😂 my teenager was next to me and saw me click on this (I just couldn't not click on it) and she said exactly the same thing.