to think you should let your host know if you're arriving with an infection?

[Coughybreak]

A friend of a friend recently asked if she could stay a couple of days with us, as she was going to an event within easy reach of our house. We made her welcome, and spent some time with her.

The morning she left she was coughing, and when I asked if there was anything I could do to help, she said she'd had a virus for several days and it had probably got worse because of travelling, but she'd be ok. She hadn't shown any symptoms that I\d recognised.

I caught the virus, which knocked me down for most of a week, and passed it on to DH was was ill for the next week. Obviously not as fit as our visitor! We both have health conditions, which she knew about.

If I was carrying an infectious disease, even a minor one such as a cold, I'd always let my host know in advance and wear a mask. In fact, wouldn't stay with people unless I had to.
AIBU to expect others to do the same?

of course, it’s only polite.

I have a couple of friends who I now know I need to ask if they’re unwell before they visit as they won’t say anything - and then they pass on a vomiting bug/nasty virus.

People get ill. I don't see the big deal.

Is this something you'd have worried about before the COVID hysteria?

Do you expect people in your day to day life to announce minor ailments?

Yanbu.

I don’t visit others when I’m ill, even with a cold, it’s incredibly selfish thing to do.

That would be a former friend.

YANBU.

I stayed with family a while back who all had a nasty cold didn't tell me till I got there.
They know I have a very low immune system I was in bed for two weeks when I got home.

It's just selfish!

Yes! When DD was little in 2014 people were forever cancelling meetups because they’d got a nasty cold and didn’t want to pass it on. It’s got nothing to do with covid, it’s called good manners and good hygiene, but from the tone of your post I expect you know all that and just don’t think good manners and good hygiene are of value to society.

Op doesn't have an issue with being ill. They have an issue with not being given a choice about whether they wanted to be put at risk for catching that illness, regardless of whether it's a run of the mill cold or something more serious.

Literally a cold? No, I wouldn't mention it if the only thing I was doing was blowing my nose abit more often.
If I was at the stage of pain killers, or time off work, I would cancel.

Maybe they just didn't want to see you?

A virus isn’t an infectious disease. It would have been nice to let you know she’d had the cold though.

I wouldn't do that or expect that for a minor cold. It can't have been much if you didn't notice until the day she left.

I'd not expect anyone to tell me if they had a bog standard cold, but would expect them to say if they'd been quite unwell with something/had a bad cold/had needed time off work.

Um. Yes it is.

Bodies react differently. You must have noticed that covid-19 put some people in intensive care, while others only discovered they had it when they did a test. There's one friend I no longer visit indoors because he gets chest infections very easily.

It wasn't much for her, but it was for DH and me.

Yea she was rude not to tell you. If my kids have so much as a cold I'll give a heads up to anyone they are meeting and give them them the opportunity say it's fine or not fine. I don't know what health issues they or family members may have that could be impacted.

I was annoyed when pregnant I went to take DD to a kids party and there was a baby covered in chicken pox. That's dangerous for mothers and unborn children. I would have liked the heads-up so I could avoid it.

YANBU
Friends visited us with their adult son who had a “sniffle”.
When he bothered to do a test it was covid. He passed it on to all of us all including my 90+ year old mother who has avoided catching covid until now.
Friend commented “Oops looks like we have started an epidemic!”
So selfish and thoughtless.

YANBU, it's rude and selfish not to mention it.

I think being given the choice as host would be good. "I'm feeling a bit under the weather with xyz - are you happy for me to come or ......"

Personally I think it's inconsiderate / selfish to not inform hosts or people you're seeing if you already know you're ill, as then they can make an informed choice about whether to still see you. (I was brought up to do this, so not a "covid-hysteria" thing).

I've actually had this situation come up this week. I felt a bit peaky and was due to have a long-awaited catch up with a friend. When I gave her tje warning that I was a bit coldy she said she'd rather cancel and rearrange - I'm so glad we did that as it turned out she was going to tell me she's pregnant... Meanwhile I quickly became more ill and have now had a PCR test come back positive for flu, so it would have actually been potentially dangerous to see her.

Yes of course but surely you're not expecting people with barely noticeable symptoms to cancel plan and avoid all contact with others?

What would you have said if they'd called and said "I have a slight sore throat, should I still come?"

@Anonymous48 um, no it’s not.

www.passporthealthglobal.com/2020/03/whats-the-difference-between-a-virus-and-a-disease/

🙄

YANBU - If I had an infection I wouldn't be there.

I think it’s only polite to let people know. Especially if you are staying with them. I’d even mention a cold. As you don’t know what their immune system is like, what plans they have for the following week…

Nothing to do with covid. My friends came over to stay overnight with their DS having a tummy bug. They did not say anything as clearly didn't want us to cancel their getaway. During their stay, we found out that he was physically sick the morning they came. Never said a word to us. My whole family spent the next half a week in bed...

I would certainly like you to announce whatever ailments lie behind such a charming comment in order that I could postpone indefinitely at the first opportunity.