The Lady Hussey racism thing

[Tiiiiiiiiiiired]

I am really conflicted about this.

If went to live in Japan (I did live there for 3 years several years ago) I would be expected to be asked about where I'm from because I don't look Japanese (and in fact I was asked many times! I didn't mind at all, it was my choice to be in Japan and I knew I didn't look japanese). If I chose to stay in that country and have children, I'd expect my children would be asked the same, and their children and that although they would be Japanese by birth, I would hope they would be happy to talk about their heritage and where they are from and not mind being asked why they don't look Japanese and what the history is. I wouldnt think it racist and wouldn't want such questions to be stopped because we only learn from others, and about others, by talking and feeling safe to ask questions.

So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.

I am interested in why you are seeking to cast aspersions on the veracity of the reports of the incident, when it has been confirmed by bystanders and accepted by the palace.

The palace hasn’t accepted the detail of the conversation. They have accepted that someone found it racist. That is different.

So your perspective is that it is made up?

It is psychologically interesting why people want to deny something the palace accepts has happened.

Not impressive.
Its pretty easy to remember awkward conversations, or horrible conversations or racist/sexists conversations.

MN is full of posts from posters describing in exact detail situations and conversatons.

In fact look at the relationship board. 99% of posts are women describing conversations they've had with partners/husbands.
"I said this, he then said that. I replied with X, he answered Y"
Some of the recall of the conversations are over hours, even days.

Their comments were very critical, they accept the conversation should not have happened, they accept it did happen as reported.

They haven't just accepted that "someone found it racist".🙄 They called Lady SH's comments unacceptable and deeply regrettable.

I am merely pointing out that it is hard to remember word for word conversation that allegedly last 15 minutes.
The palace has not accepted Ngozi’s version of events , they are simply trying to deal with a situation.
Given the story doing the rounds on Twitter , I wonder if Ngozi will regret her actions .

Ngozi Fulani was asked where is she from and she gave the answer. The UK is multi cultural (some parts more than others) London is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world

Ngozi Fulani wasn’t asked what her heritage is until it was felt by Susan Hussey that the answer given was incorrect

Now we know LH role we have to remember it wasn’t a conversation, it was a fact gathering exchange. LH obviously felt Camilla would wish to know about personal links NF had with the community served by the charity she worked with. That would be why she persisted with the question.

My husband is British but not white. He just gets exhausted by the questioning. His father was from a Middle Eastern country, which he doesn't always want to disclose because it's contested territory

If your husband worked with refugees from that country and was being introduced in respect of that work, do you think it would be unreasonable to ask about personal links?

If I went to the royal Palace, a once in a life time type of event, and spoke with someone that closely connected to the RF I would remember every word of it

If that conversation then turned out to be awkward, aggressive, racist, interrogation, I'm even more sure I would remember it.

When you take into account the nature of this ladies work (working with victims of DV) probably means her ability to remember specific conversations is well practiced, I'm not sure why you are doubting it?

Unless there is some reason you think this particular person is likely to have a bad memory?

Who said it lasted 15 minutes? Read the stated exchange. That is not 15 minutes.

It is not hard to remember short conversations if you have normal memory.

Not really. I can remember most conversations I had yesterday and I'm pretty sure in such a situation if someone was that offensive to me I'd remember it more or less exactly.

And if LJ had asked if she had a personal link to the community she worked with the she probably would have received a different answer

But my understanding is that she didn’t know anything at all about NF’s charity or the work she did when she asked. So I’m not sure how that can be used to justify the questions. Why are you trying to make the question into a more ‘acceptable’ one by finding possible reasons that would make it ok instead of accepting NF’s account of what happened and how it made her feel?

I’ve been to royal events too and I’ve never seen anyone get a badgering like that, nor would I find it acceptable if I witnessed it.

You’re missing the point

There are a lot of black people in the UK. I haven’t given it that much thought but I’d assume someone was from the UK if I saw them in the street, and they were black. Well I wouldn’t assume they WEREN’T. And if they had a British accent well… it’s quite obvious isn’t it? A bit like coming across a south East Asian person in Australia.

Why would Ngozi Fulani regret her actions?

I do not think the questioning was necessarily racist - I am not denying the account of what was said but we have only heard one account. In addition what people say is really framed by their manner as well. Clearly the words used were clumsy and ill advised - had the question been about heritage then it would in this context have been acceptable. The event was highlighting violence against different groups of people and the organisations being represented are exclusively for minority groups therefore in that context asking politely about heritage is acceptable in my view.

It's not.

If you can't see how problematic that exchange was, a mumsnet post can't help you.

This witness corroborates the account twitter.com/ManduReid/status/1598267850640478208 saying 'that's exactly as a recall it'.

Interestingly Mandu suggests that the person stepping down is not as good as the palace truly engaging with the issues this incident raises.

How many witness statements do you need @twelly?

I’m baffled how anyone could think it was not racist. It fulfils the definition of racism.

@NippyWoowoo that's because we have only heard one side of the story or have you heard Lady Husseys version of events. Too many people are keen to jump in.

What on earth would the other side of the story be?

There are corroborating witness statements. It happened.