The Lady Hussey racism thing

[Tiiiiiiiiiiired]

I am really conflicted about this.

If went to live in Japan (I did live there for 3 years several years ago) I would be expected to be asked about where I'm from because I don't look Japanese (and in fact I was asked many times! I didn't mind at all, it was my choice to be in Japan and I knew I didn't look japanese). If I chose to stay in that country and have children, I'd expect my children would be asked the same, and their children and that although they would be Japanese by birth, I would hope they would be happy to talk about their heritage and where they are from and not mind being asked why they don't look Japanese and what the history is. I wouldnt think it racist and wouldn't want such questions to be stopped because we only learn from others, and about others, by talking and feeling safe to ask questions.

So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.

It’s not a transcript ! It’s Ngozi’s version .

I am white, my husband of many years black. He has had the same question throughout his life. We even had the infamous 'what colour will you children be.' I always replied sky blue pink. My husband says Birmingham and laughs at any further questions. Our children are 23/19 and never get asked these type of questions. We were in Italy a few weeks ago (I was dreading the racism) he received none. I speak Italian so I have sharp ears. The only thing we got was, English? Thirty years on things have changed.

The charity she represents is for victims of DV who are of African or Caribbean heritage only. So I suppose you could argue that's why SH was asking the question.

It’s a dress. What do you think is African about it?

And African isn’t a country, it’s a continent with a myriad cultures. Buy an atlas for Christmas.

Me too

Well, you’re clearly not conflicted…

I think I might stay off race related MN threads. Full of people clamouring to excuse totally bigoted BS and expect POC to be polite when faced with this constant stream of low level racism.

If you don’t get why Ngozi was Upset - you will know as a woman the every sexism we experience. Being spoken down to by men, assumed you’re the secretary, judged on parenting, expectations through the roof and called crazy if you ever dare raise your voice.

Now you have seen this transaction, it may be your first and only insight into one black Wonsan’s experience. But actually, much like sexism, this is what black people face every single day, and it’s fine that Ngozi is fucking sick of it

Fine. If you have read Ngozi’s account of the conversation, which AFAIK has not been disputed, and you don’t think there is a problem, then you are part of the problem.

I’d suggest that any white person who doesn’t understand why this is racist and thinks they’d answer the question patiently in a non-white majority country, must be living in a very white bubble to not understand the baggage of the question.

🤣🤣🤣

So, as a white person, you wouldn't have been offended? Right then.

You evidently have zero idea of what black people endure and are expected to put up with and not make a fuss.

I am mixed race, close to 70 and I've listened to this sort of shit all my life.

I don't know how you have the gall to talk about 'playing the race card.' You should be ashamed of yourself.

The woman didn’t just asked, she demanded. Not only that, but she interrogated her because she deemed her answer not good enough. That’s without even touching on the fact she thought she had the right to touch her.

it takes some fucking gymnastics to present that as reasonable.

I’m not English, and I’m not ashamed of my heritage. That doesn’t mean I want to explain my heritage to everyone who asks.

Re-reading it, the "your people" bit was one of the worst bits.

Also Hussey is not a stupid woman just because she’s 83 - she has served the Royal household for years but she MUST realise that role comes with a high level of diplomacy and care in conversing with others. The Queen managed it for 70 years, much under Hussey’s close watch, so whilst I’d think any old 83yo stuck in their ways may not be uber-PC, I won’t extend the same courtesy to an intelligent woman choosing to represent a household that has a fucking dodgy history of racism accusation, the latest being a year ago By a senior member of the family!

I don't look white British. I'm not black; if anything I look maybe Arabic or Southern European. I do get a bit tired of being asked where I'm from. It would be fine if it happened to come out in a general conversation about culture or ethnicity but really if you're just making small talk with a complete stranger and you come from Bromley, it's a bit irritating to have to explain your familial roots all the time.

If I were black I think I would find it even more tiresome. Partly because I think there's more racism directed at black people and partly because it feels like you're being categorised in some way that can often be negative.

I just don't think the black experience can be compared with being ethnically white in Japan, I really don't. It sounds ingenuous to claim equivalence and judge people for expressing how they feel when you can't possibly know.

Disingenuous

The 'victim' here was dressed in ethnic regalia at an event about preventing dv against ethnic women. The 'agressor' was 83 years old, 83 years old. Once upon a time we were nice to old people, cut them a bit of slack for mistakes. In this situation asking where are you from is very understandable. An answer not deliberate obfuscation, would have prevented the repeated confused questioning. How unpleasant and agenda driven do you have to trap an 83 year old into a mistake and then charge her with a social media pitchfork. Look at this supposed victims previous tweets and honestly tell me you don't think she went to this event hoping to bait someone. That she picked on one of the Late Queens companions and has gleefully destroyed her (i heard her on radio 4 this morning) says at lot to me. No one can change race or sex and racism and sexism and ageism have no place in our society. We will all get old, have times change and we will get confused and find our behaviour and habits out of step socially. I hope those of you joining in the public haranguing remember this as you age. Shame on you.

Ngozi Fulani wasn’t being obtuse.She had been invited to an event to talk about her charity which helps women and girls who are victims of domestic abuse. When asked “where are you from” in that setting, I would have also have answered with the name of the Organisation. Because that’s what she had been invited for after all. When it became clear where the questions were heading, she was perfectly within her rights to not immediately give out the answer she was obviously aiming for because the repeated questioning was rude and inappropriate.

I am really conflicted about this.

*So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.*

You don't sound conflicted about this at all. You have no opinion from the alternative point of view. You have just one point of view.

And that's okay. You can have just one point of view. You don't have to say you are conflicted if you aren't. It just unfortunately the view point you are aligning with is racist.

Thats because she wasn't asked about her heritage or her ancestry. Her right to call herself British was challenged and denied.

I'm pretty sure if the same woman had come over and said 'your outfit is beautiful, does it hold a particular meaning for you' a very different conversation would have been generated.

Yup. Perfect put.

We could also say that Lady Hussey’s comments weren’t “causing” offence they were offensive.

Over on Gransnet the consensus also seems to be that her racism should be excused by her age. As an older woman I find it offensive and untrue to say that older women don’t know that racism is wrong/ how to talk to people they may meet without being offensive/ can be anti racist.

Older women have exposed many wrongs in society and campaigned for changed. Perhaps rather than blame her age we should look at Lady Husseys background of privilege and the apparent accepted norms in the society and organisation she represented.

She wasn’t wearing ‘traditional African dress’. Being leopard-print and worn by a black woman doesn’t automatically make an outfit ‘African’.

And the event wasn’t at all about ‘celebrating African heritage’ either! But interesting that you jumped to conclusions about why she’d been invited to the palace. She was there because of her work with domestic abuse victims.

Even if someone was genuinely interested in her ‘African’ clothing there are ways of asking someone about their outfit without repeatedly bombarding them with questions about their family and their heritage. And preferably you ask AFTER asking about her important work which is the whole reason she’s there in the first place.

”ethnic regalia” now! Please someone use that for their next name change, bloody hell.

And if you think an 83-year-old is too doddery and confused to be representing the Palace at an official function, surely you’ll agree her resignation is best all round?

I think asking just once where someone is from is not offensive (I am white though) but it's the repeated asking, the insinuation she isn't British because of her skin colour. It seems she didn't let it drop. I guess she meant to ask about her heritage but asking that more directly rather than "but where are you from really?" Might have been received better? Some people might not even like to be asked about this as it is still suggesting they don't look "british" even if it is not meant with any offensive intent I can see why offence may still be taken.

Ethnic regalia eh? Are you saying you’ve never worn a maxi dress over a t-shirt before because it’s ethnic?