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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to elf on the shelf

156 replies

Illumicrateme · 01/12/2022 10:26

My DS is 5 and in Y1, this morning all the children were excited that their elves had visited them. I had previously told him that the elves were for children that miss behaved and the elves could report back to Santa. Now it looks like half his class have been miss behaving and I don't want him thinking he needs to be naughty tk get a elf🙈 I really don't want to begin elf on the shelf so I was hoping you lovely lot could help me come up with a better excuse before school pick up this afternoon 😬

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 02/12/2022 11:05

Tell him that you have told Santa that you don't want an elf in your house spying on him because you buy the presents for Santa to deliver and you decide what your son gets, no-one else and as long as you know he has tried his best to be good then he will get his presents.

HairyToity · 02/12/2022 11:09

We relented and bought the elf. My kids love it. A highlight of Christmas. No regrets.

Tootsweets84 · 02/12/2022 11:16

I hate those creepy elves. We have Danish nisser. They're just sweet looking fabric elves. We leave out rice pudding for the a couple of times during December and they start appearing around the house and leave a small chocolate in the kids stockings every day (instead of those cardboard advent calendars). They don't play any tricks or make mess because they're nice elves. And to be honest my kids know it's all made up and just a bit of fun anyway

swirlypinky · 02/12/2022 12:52

What's more annoying than doing the elf thing?

Other people's bloody photos of the bloody things on social

Bore off zzzzzz

LikeTearsInRain · 02/12/2022 13:20

YABU

in this modern day all children deserve elf on the shelf, Xmas eve box and all the good things. And they will all be comparing experiences at school, don’t want them to feel left out.

Snoopystick · 02/12/2022 14:40

We don’t do it and I temporarily unfollow all Facebook people who post all their bloody photos of it. Bah humbug!

kimele0n · 04/12/2022 07:01

LikeTearsInRain · 02/12/2022 13:20

YABU

in this modern day all children deserve elf on the shelf, Xmas eve box and all the good things. And they will all be comparing experiences at school, don’t want them to feel left out.

This is the bit I hate, that your kid feels like they are missing out if their mum isn’t performing at influencer level excitement every day in the run up to Christmas. The competitive creativity 😭 I like Xmas and I’m creative but the unmissable extra work at 6 am with emotional strings attached doesn’t make me beam with festive goodwill. It’s there though now I guess so just have to try and get into it while she’s still young enough. That marketing exec has a lot to answer for, if I ever meet her.

Zanatdy · 04/12/2022 07:04

I never started it either, mine are older now, 14 & 18 but we did a cheap £2 advent calendar, maybe a trip to Santa at the school fare and Christmas itself. Now it’s a constant pressure of daily elf’s, bringing all kinds of gifts and special breakfast’s, elaborate Santa visits, which costs a fortune, breakfast with Santa, Christmas Eve boxes. Where does it end? People say it’s my child what’s the harm, then there’s so much pressure on parents to do the same as their classmates. Really P’s me off.

LolaSmiles · 04/12/2022 07:05

We tell DC it's not something we do in our house, but other people do.

DC have accepted this and seem to understand different houses have different traditions. Some adults on the other hand seem to struggle with it.

Zanatdy · 04/12/2022 07:10

swirlypinky · 02/12/2022 12:52

What's more annoying than doing the elf thing?

Other people's bloody photos of the bloody things on social

Bore off zzzzzz

Oh yes, or the cheeky antics bored parents do some evenings after a drink or three. I find FB infuriating in December so don’t go on as much. I don’t think parents need to share elf updates every single day

kimele0n · 04/12/2022 08:49

LolaSmiles · 04/12/2022 07:05

We tell DC it's not something we do in our house, but other people do.

DC have accepted this and seem to understand different houses have different traditions. Some adults on the other hand seem to struggle with it.

As one of those parents who would love to kick the elf into the long grass, I’m grateful on your behalf that your kid has never started december crying into her breakfast because the elf didn’t show up and it “always” shows up for everyone else…

yes this morning the elf was found making its way up a pile of tea boxes to try to get into the advent chocolates, and my child was super happy! But I’m hoping this “tradition” goes away for the next generation, it’s just more relentless unseen emotional labour for women, thanks, capitalism!

hallesmelly · 04/12/2022 10:10

@pepperminttaste it is a bit sad. She looked so disappointed. Your words. I wouldn't want my dc to feel disappointed when it's such an easy thing to do.

Katapolts · 04/12/2022 20:00

My poor, neglected children are disappointed all the time! We're not going to Disneyland, they don't have a puppy, they're not even allowed a TV in their bedrooms.

Just explain to your kid that the elf didn't 'show up' because mummy didn't go and buy an elf. They can't always have everything just because other children do.

LolaSmiles · 04/12/2022 21:47

kimele0n
We're fortunate that we know elf doesn't show up for everyone else as there's a good group of us who don't do it.

I realise my comment about adults could be misinterpreted. It was meant to be that in our circle, the children seem to get on with having and elf or not having an elf and most of the moral panic comes from adults who 'can't believe' some parents don't do it or claim it 'ruins the magic' by not having an elf.

KrystynaZ · 05/12/2022 01:08

Katapolts · 04/12/2022 20:00

My poor, neglected children are disappointed all the time! We're not going to Disneyland, they don't have a puppy, they're not even allowed a TV in their bedrooms.

Just explain to your kid that the elf didn't 'show up' because mummy didn't go and buy an elf. They can't always have everything just because other children do.

The elf, Disneyland and bedroom TVs can all do one. Not alllowed a puppy, though?!? That sounds like some form of neglect to me!
Seriously though, there are so man benefits to having pets in the family. Why not?

Ylvamoon · 05/12/2022 08:12

🤣 Puppy or Elf???

Who makes more mess- the jury's out on that one!

Shutthegatepeter · 05/12/2022 08:16

I don’t have any advice about how to get out of doing eots. I’d just do it. My daughter is 13 and still says elf is the best bit of Christmas 😂 My 4 year old runs downstairs every morning eagerly excited to see what he’s done through the night. He covered the Christmas tree in toilet paper this morning, my 4 year old was laughing hysterically at it. They’re only little once, it’s 5 mins of effort just before you go to bed, they’re only little once.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/12/2022 08:28

Comparing a puppy to the elf is nuts. A puppy is a long term financial and time commitment. DDs fully understand why we don't have one. Or even a hamster.

An elf doesn't care if you miss a day or cost you loads in food and vet fees.

Katapolts · 05/12/2022 09:15

PuttingDownRoots · 05/12/2022 08:28

Comparing a puppy to the elf is nuts. A puppy is a long term financial and time commitment. DDs fully understand why we don't have one. Or even a hamster.

An elf doesn't care if you miss a day or cost you loads in food and vet fees.

Fine then - one of mine wanted a lego advent calendar but I didn't get one. Clearly neglect and Christmas is ruined.

Different families have different finances, free time and priorities. Your kid isn't always going to get the same at Christmas as their friend.

You just explain Emily has an elf because her mummy bought one and likes to move it around at night and take photos to show everyone. I think they're creepy and I'm busy so I didn't buy one.

TheKeatingFive · 05/12/2022 09:18

take photos to show everyone

And if she doesn't???

Katapolts · 05/12/2022 09:20

TheKeatingFive · 05/12/2022 09:18

take photos to show everyone

And if she doesn't???

Emily's mum definitely does. Social media is wall-to-wall hilarious elf japes.

TheKeatingFive · 05/12/2022 09:22

And Emily is ... fictional, right?

MugginsOverEre · 05/12/2022 09:25

PickyEaters · 01/12/2022 10:30

Tell him it's a naff idea made up by a bunch of marketing idiots to sell more tat and that his classmates parents are so stupid they all fell for it.

That's what I did.

Comefromaway · 05/12/2022 09:26

Ds's friend's little brother was given n elf which he is basically treating as a cute christmas toy. His mother rather sensibly wrote a hello letter from the elf saying that he knows that some children have naughty elves but he is a good elf and so won't be playing any naughty tricks and he hopes that x will also be good and helpful to his mum.

TheKeatingFive · 05/12/2022 09:29

That's what I did.

Absolutely no need to be nasty about other people's harmless choices. Just be clear every house does Christmas differently.