To say no to elf on the shelf

[Illumicrateme]

My DS is 5 and in Y1, this morning all the children were excited that their elves had visited them. I had previously told him that the elves were for children that miss behaved and the elves could report back to Santa. Now it looks like half his class have been miss behaving and I don't want him thinking he needs to be naughty tk get a elf🙈 I really don't want to begin elf on the shelf so I was hoping you lovely lot could help me come up with a better excuse before school pick up this afternoon 😬

[SleepingStandingUp]

@PickyEaters

I find it hard to believe that children of any school-going age would get so excited about a stuffed toy that they would talk about it at school, or even mention it to their friends.

What are they going to say?— "He was on top of the dishwasher this morning!". "Ooh, mine was behind the sofa!".

It's hardly gripping stuff.

I thought the elf was supposed to bring gifts hence the excitement.

Needless to say I don't do this and never have done.

This mornings walk to school with two friends aged 7.
A: tells B that the elves came this morning, explains about the note and tells their names. There's even a photo on Mom's phone.
B: tells A about his elf trying to steal Mom's coffee.
They both think this conversation is hysterical and riveting.
Tonight B sent A a photo because his elf's baby brothers showed up.
Tomorrow B will tell A all about the babies and what naughty things they did. A will tell B about whatever her elves got up to overnight.

I can only assume this conversational pattern is repeated in class. They talk about them as if they're real because even tho they kinda know he came fro ma shop, they believe in magic. And because 7 yo are weird.

Tonight B and I had Al Omg conversation about why the envelope had the same tape on as we did and B decided they'd travelled by themselves then taped themselves into an envelope, not sent by their Mom as previously assumed.

Trust me, parents wouldn't do it if kids rolled their eyes and ignored the damn thing.

[PickyEaters]

@SleepingStandingUp thank you for the explanation. Well… people are always sayng they want kids to spend less time on their devices.

[Canuckduck]

My kids asked for one when they were about 7 & 8 and I said no, it’s a toy and not something we’re doing. One of their classrooms had one.

I just didn’t / don’t have time in my day to think of fun / hilarious stunts. Some families I know are really creative with it. Good for them! It’s not for me. We’ve likewise never made a huge deal about Santa.

[MumToBe1980]

Do the kids actually believe the elf moves around? Or do parents tell their kids it's a toy that they move around? I feel like my 6 year old would see straight through this, which would probably start to make him question how real Santa is too.

[pepperminttaste]

Well, I don't have the time or inclination for it at all but for the first time ever last night my youngest (8) asked if we could get one. In previous years she's just asked why we don't have one. We said a flat no and then OH jokingly said, 'Why don't you get a toy, get it to do stuff every single night and then tidy it all up the next day?' Oh she looked so disappointed. Anyway, when I went to bed she'd hidden her cuddly Mog behind our curtain rail for us.

I might compromise. Thinking maybe take her Olaf toy, leave a note saying 'Mum and Dad are elf grinches, I'm not here to spy, I'm only going to show up a few times because otherwise I'm a pain in the backside'.

Think her and her sister will see the funny side of that... Maybe!

[shivbo2014]

I've done it a few times, not doing it this year. I just told my daughter that the elf goes to different children each year.

[Wishawisha]

@TheKeatingFive

What I hate is the whole contrived / invented tradition aspect.

Every tradition was 'invented' at some point. Your Christmas will be full of contrived, invented traditions like trees, crackers, turkey, etc.

OP just say you aren't doing it, all houses do Christmas differently. No need to more than this or being snide about other people's kids.

Ancient Celts decorating their houses with branches from evergreen trees and us now bringing in evergreen trees and decorating them with lights, like they’ve been doing in Germany for centuries, is not exactly the same as a box appearing on supermarket shelves out of the blue labelled “tradition” is it? (And as a PP mentioned, released by a marketing executive no less).

But people can obviously do what they want, no one is saying they can’t, but this thread is about someone who doesn’t want to do it and it’s fine surely if plenty of us (on a not liking / wanting to do Elf on the Shelf thread) also think it’s quite naff.

[ladymarmiteee]

@pepperminttaste

Well, I don't have the time or inclination for it at all but for the first time ever last night my youngest (8) asked if we could get one. In previous years she's just asked why we don't have one. We said a flat no and then OH jokingly said, 'Why don't you get a toy, get it to do stuff every single night and then tidy it all up the next day?' Oh she looked so disappointed. Anyway, when I went to bed she'd hidden her cuddly Mog behind our curtain rail for us.

I might compromise. Thinking maybe take her Olaf toy, leave a note saying 'Mum and Dad are elf grinches, I'm not here to spy, I'm only going to show up a few times because otherwise I'm a pain in the backside'.

Think her and her sister will see the funny side of that... Maybe!

That's really sad.

Would it kill you to get one (they're about £2) and just move it around? You don't have to do all the big, messy, time consuming stunts.

[DrinkReprehensibly]

I don't have kids but I see several friends posting about the antics of their elves. The effort is insane.
I don't get the apparent contradiction of the elf supposedly making sure the kids aren't being naughty in the run up to Christmas whilst demonstrating such misbehaviour themselves. Are they not being a bad influence on the children? What does santa think about what the elves are doing? It seems confusing to me. Or is it just parents taking it further than the original concept was intended to?

[minisoksmakehardwork]

We don't have it. Never have and dc just see it as a tradition others do that we don't, like we have ours and others don't.

That said, I did buy a teeny figurine on a spur of the moment this year (it was very cheap) to play with 'where's Wally' style. We are having fun hiding it in vague sight and seeing how long it takes to notice. The person who finds it, hides it somewhere different.

[NerrSnerr]

@DrinkReprehensibly

I don't have kids but I see several friends posting about the antics of their elves. The effort is insane.
I don't get the apparent contradiction of the elf supposedly making sure the kids aren't being naughty in the run up to Christmas whilst demonstrating such misbehaviour themselves. Are they not being a bad influence on the children? What does santa think about what the elves are doing? It seems confusing to me. Or is it just parents taking it further than the original concept was intended to?

If you read the thread many of us don't do the 'don't be naughty as the elves are watching you'. Ours just move around, aren't particularly naughty and I can't be arsed to clean stuff up so don't do messy things.

[TheKeatingFive]

I don't get the apparent contradiction of the elf supposedly making sure the kids aren't being naughty in the run up to Christmas whilst demonstrating such misbehaviour themselves.

The elf riffs off two different long-standing Christmas narratives. The first being the 'lord of misrule' type stuff that they went in for several centuries ago. The rules of normal society are over turned, mischief making ensues. The second is the Santa naughty/nice list.

So yeah, there are contradictions in that. However I don't think many go in hard for the surveillance, so it's not really an issue. Christmas traditions are really known for their logic anyway - see the Santa myth.

[TheKeatingFive]

I admit I don't go in for the naughty stuff either. Our elf gets up to mischief, which usually involves hiding places or playing with the other toys.

[TheGoogleMum]

Tell DC you don't want to invite fae creatures into the house, never trust the fae (perhaps there is an exception for the tooth fairy as its always a 1 night only visit)

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Had this yesterday from dd with 3 young dcs 😂

[teaandtoastwithmarmite]

We do it. I managed to not do it until dd was 7 and said she wanted it. We got two though which actually makes it easier. It's pretty low effort though. For example. Last night one elf shut the other in daddy's guitar case and the legs were sticking out. She's 10 in feb so not sure how much longer we'll do it

[teaandtoastwithmarmite]

Also if we forget she will move it lol

[ladymarmiteee]

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

Had this yesterday from dd with 3 young dcs 😂

This Hurrah For Gin sketch resurfaces every year and is just another 'I'm far too busy and important for the silly elf' message when in reality moving a stuffed elf takes all of 30 seconds.

[Milkyway00]

We've never done it. Its pointless and a waste of time in my opinion. Each to their own!

[neverbeenskiing]

OP, I was adamant we weren't doing the sodding elf! I thought it was a nonsense and I was having none of it. Life is busy enough! DD had never mentioned it, so I thought I'd gotten away with it.
Then when she was in Year 1 she came home from school very quiet one day, I could tell something was up. Eventually told me that the Teacher had asked if anyone had an Elf arrive overnight and the only kids who didn't raise their hands were DD and a couple of kids who don't celebrate Christmas. They were then all sharing what their elves had gotten up to. Then the tears came, she didn't understand why santa hadn't sent an elf to visit her and did it mean we wouldn't be having Christmas? I felt terrible!! Really terrible. I didn't realise so many kids would have one, I had thought it would be about 50/50 split at the most.

I caved, obviously! The next day DD came home to find her Elf with a note explaining she'd gotten a bit lost on her way from the North Pole. She was overjoyed! She's 8 now and still loves the little fucker. Her younger Brother (4) has an Elf too and the pair of them are so excited to come downstairs and see what they've been up to even though we don't do anything elaborate with them. We don't link it to behaviour, or say the elves are "watching" them, it's just a nice thing.

Takes an extra 2-3 minutes in the evening at most. Worth it IMO.

[Ericaequites]

It’s a distasteful American tradition that normalizes bad behavior, commercialism, and continual surveillance. Just say no.

[TheKeatingFive]

It’s a distasteful American tradition that normalizes bad behavior, commercialism, and continual surveillance.

Oh for gods sake 🙄

it's a small toy you move around the house. Do it/don't do it, but the outrage just silly.

No one I know does surveillance. It's actually one of the least commercial things about Christmas for us, after the initial outlay of 5 euro, 5 years ago, I've never spent a penny on it. Just a bit of harmless fun.

[pepperminttaste]

@ladymarmiteee

That's really sad.

Would it kill you to get one (they're about £2) and just move it around? You don't have to do all the big, messy, time consuming stunts.

😂 It's not sad.

[PeterRabbitHadACarrot]

Are some parents actually expecting other parents not to tell their DC the elf isn't real incase they tell theirs?
Just tell your child you haven't bought and elf. If questioned why, just tell them you didn't want to do all the activities, the advent calender is enough.

[Thereisnolight]

I’m not into crass commercialisation and plastic just for the sake of it (who is?) so I’m not going to go for “Christmas Eve box” instead of a movie and popcorn or “North Pole breakfast” instead of just breakfast.

But the elf, although a new tradition, is a good idea that children really really love. He lasts for years so is cheap and brings so much pleasure. Parents who say “I don’t have time”…whatcha doing with your time exactly luv? Are you a brain surgeon who works 6 out of every 7 days? My friend is, and they have an elf so get over yourselves with the no time excuse.