To say no to elf on the shelf

[Illumicrateme]

My DS is 5 and in Y1, this morning all the children were excited that their elves had visited them. I had previously told him that the elves were for children that miss behaved and the elves could report back to Santa. Now it looks like half his class have been miss behaving and I don't want him thinking he needs to be naughty tk get a elf🙈 I really don't want to begin elf on the shelf so I was hoping you lovely lot could help me come up with a better excuse before school pick up this afternoon 😬

Of course you're not being unreasonable to not have an elf if you don't want one. We have one - ours doesn't spy or make mess, he hides around the house for the kids to find. Elves are what you make of them, if you start off low key, they stay low key and are really easy.

Elf on the shelf only really arrived in the UK in 2013, 7 years after the story was (self) published by a marketing executive and family to make money.

So, no, my kids were teens then, we did not partake in a brand new "tradition". The elf can stay in the shop along with December 1st boxes, Christmas eve boxes and advent calendars costing 80 quid. We'll do Christmas our way. Everyone else can do what they like, but most kids know the elf is a made up thing, so hopefully it's not another bloomin "magical secret" that people expect others to keep from their precious darlings.

(I feel like adding bah humbug, but our Christmas is just as magical to us without that stuff, so I wont)

Just say no OP... just say no...

I LOVE CHRISTMAS. God, come on guys!

Firstly, why say it's for 'naughty' children? That's sad.

We have none of that in our house. The Elf doesn't do anything crazy, and this year I bought a 'prep' pack from a local Facebook lady so everything I need for the 24 days is there and ready!! So handy!!

What a fun household for children.

Im the most christamassy person I know and I can't stand the elf! I haven't got time and the energy to not only remember it but to think of something fun and imaginative to do with it everyday.
We just bought our son an elf and he gets to have him all of the time because the elf loves the spend all of his time with him and not just come out at night when he's asleep.

I agree with PP and think you should just tell him it's not real and just their parents being silly. It might take the novelty away.

I don’t see the issue. It sits on a shelf, every so often it is moved to sit elsewhere. That’s all you need to do, not even daily.

I realise I’m incredibly, incredibly lucky that my children in primary have never heard of Elf on the Shelf.
DS went into school excited about opening his advent calendar and asking his friends if they’d also opened a door / had a chocolate etc.. I heard a few of them also excitedly telling him yes… no-one mentioned an elf at all (thank God). I’ve never seen one at anyone’s houses whenever we’ve done play dates in December. I don’t know how I’d broach it if people started doing it.

What I hate is the whole contrived / invented tradition aspect.

We just hide the elf somewhere different each evening. Takes 30 seconds. He doesn't spy or cause chaos, but DS loves finding him.

Every year, the same rude responses from people who don't do the elf.
Like everything you don't need to do it, lots do lots don't.

I do it in my house, yes it can be a pain remembering to move it or come up with something non messy but fun.

The elves have nothing to do with my dc behaviour, thats never been a thing for us, we also have cute cuddly elves that can be touched.

My dc are a little bit older now,this will definitely be our last year, but they still have lovely memories of it and for me that's what counts.

I certainly don't have too much time on my hands, thats so rude, I work full time, I'm a carer, I volunteer and I have 3 dc, there's never enough hours in my day, but this doesn't take long to do before bed.

I relented a few years ago. I hate the elf so, so much. But my DD was desperate, so she got a naughty elf who came to learn to be good from her example. She doesn't believe anymore, but she got so much joy from that ugly little thing. We still do it even more she doesn't believe because she enjoy it so much. I'd give in to be honest, they're only young once.

Loved this! Really made me laugh: "What I’d give to go back in time, Inception myself inside the mind of the Elf on the Shelf creator and scream the word “bastards” at them so loudly that they forgot to ever invent the bloody thing."

😄Fair enough

Is this elf on a shelf a new thing? I never heard about it and neither had my children when they were growing up in the early 2000s but I keep seeing it now all over MN.

Oh for God sake, some of these replies. Misery loves company, as the saying goes!

I don’t think having an elf is ‘hard work’ you literally just move it from one place to another, work of seconds before bed. It’s fine if people don’t want an elf but it’s certainly not a pain or difficult.

Can't be arsed moving the creepy little fucker around so we don't have one. One year, he showed up at school (my daughter was in year 6 at the time) and a few days later he'd been decapitated by the window...

What I hate is the whole contrived / invented tradition aspect but every tradition is invented or stolen from somewhere. You think the cave man got dressed up and sat the cave kids in his knee every shortest night or thereabouts and gave them a new bone to play with? You think the cave Mama went out looking for a pretty tree to hook into the cave and then covered it with dead birds and pretty rocks?

I consider myself fortunate that eldest dd disliked dolls so much that she would never consider an elf at home. When ds asked around age 5, she informed him that elves were creepy little fuckers (for which she was disciplined) and that was that. No elf. I was quite glad she saved me a job tbh.
If I had to do it I would just move it around, no mess or fuss.
I have a few friends who were very in to doing things with the elf, but even they are running out of ideas after many years.

If your ds really wants one op, you could do it quite easily. Just keep it simple from the start. How happy would he be to find an elf one morning?! If he would honestly love it, I can see the appeal.

No of course not but they develop over time in a more organic way. We can trace most our modern Christmas traditions back to Victorian times and as generations go things change a little, naturally.

I love doing a lot of the Christmas traditions that I did as a child.. obviously updated for 2022. DH and I both fondly remember going to buy a tree each year about two weeks before Christmas and this being one of the main Christmas “events” and we do the same with our children. Our parents did the same with their parents. It changes a bit but not completely.

Elf on the Shelf is a new thing that appeared in shops one year but a box saying “tradition” on it.

Also - not understanding the comments about people being so negative about Elf on the Shelf. It’s literally a thread about how not to do Elf on the Shelf. Surely we’re allowed not to like the Elf on a thread about NOT WANTING TO DO ELF ON THE SHELF.

No elf here either, dd thinks it's creepy AF

You're not unreasonable to say no, but just realise your son might feel really left out when the other kids in the class are talking about their elves. I was always very anti elf, it wasn't a thing when my eldest was small. But I hadn't realised how left out my wee girl was feeling when everyone was talking about them. I caved in and got her one this year and she was absolutely delighted, her wee face was a picture. So now I feel bad for holding out. She's 7.

I don't do it especially as I can't stand mess and lots of people make the elf play in flower, glitter etc... my 6 year old was happy with his advent calendar. A year or so and he won't believe in santa anymore. I'm not doing the elf! Ever.

My kids are y6 & 7 and neither of them ever mentioned an elf. Or anyone at school having one. I'm sure people did but it never impacted on us! Advent calendars, eve boxes, mince pies & carrots, pantos - yes. Elves - no. But I don't remember elves featuring in my childhood memories of FC either. I don't think my FC made the toys.

We all have enough of our own traditions I guess.

They don't all need to do the same. Unless some plonker links it to behaviour and makes the kids think the elf is real. 🤣

😂OK then