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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to elf on the shelf

156 replies

Illumicrateme · 01/12/2022 10:26

My DS is 5 and in Y1, this morning all the children were excited that their elves had visited them. I had previously told him that the elves were for children that miss behaved and the elves could report back to Santa. Now it looks like half his class have been miss behaving and I don't want him thinking he needs to be naughty tk get a elf🙈 I really don't want to begin elf on the shelf so I was hoping you lovely lot could help me come up with a better excuse before school pick up this afternoon 😬

OP posts:
PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 01/12/2022 11:33

I just explained that different households have different Christmas traditions and we don't have an elf

To say no to elf on the shelf
NerrSnerr · 01/12/2022 11:34

We do it and it's just a bit of fun. We don't do big 'stunts' so no cleaning up flour etc but they just move around and stuff.

It makes my children have a bit of a laugh in the morning, nothing more and nothing less. There's no talk of naughty kids or being watched- it's just something silly to do.

Horses for courses and it doesn't make anyone better or worse for doing different things with their own family.

DappledThings · 01/12/2022 11:45

I just said we don't do it in our house and left it there. Same with trick or treating.

No elaborate plan or way of dealing with it, just a simple nope and move on.

riotlady · 01/12/2022 11:49

As a middle ground, there’s something you can get called Kindness Elves who suggest kind things you can do for other people? (Can get them to occasionally bring sweets too!)

Still a bit of effort but seems like an all round nicer idea than naughty elves and less clean up

peycho · 01/12/2022 11:51

I think people that do elf on the shelf have far too much time on their hands.

emilygox · 01/12/2022 11:58

We do the elf too, but we just hide it every night and my 3 are excited to search every morning!
It takes less than 2 minutes to put an elf somewhere in your house, he doesn't make any mess and doesn't bring gifts.

ReadtheReviews · 01/12/2022 12:02

We have an elf toy from.before all this nonsense. He leaves early December to go to the North Pole to do his job.He reappears with the presents xmas morning. He also has a strong Welsh accent...

YellowTreeHouse · 01/12/2022 12:03

You shouldn’t have lied to him in the first place. You don’t need an excuse. You just tell him you’re not doing it.

AlexForrestBunny · 01/12/2022 12:04

I bloody hate the elf but we do it - ours are reception and year 2 and we couldn’t get away with not doing it as the teachers even talk about the elf so they both came home yesterday excited
as much as I find it annoying I’d feel awful if they felt left out as all their friends talk about what the elf got up to… luckily they seem happy with us just moving it about the house to find in the morning

Mummummummumyyyyy · 01/12/2022 12:05

emilygox · 01/12/2022 11:58

We do the elf too, but we just hide it every night and my 3 are excited to search every morning!
It takes less than 2 minutes to put an elf somewhere in your house, he doesn't make any mess and doesn't bring gifts.

I do this too. No mess, no expense just happy excited kids each morning. It takes literally less than a minute to hide each night. Each to their own and I respect that every family has their own traditions. I just don't get all the hatred on here! Some very grinch like mothers on mumsnet

NerrSnerr · 01/12/2022 12:09

Each to their own and I respect that every family has their own traditions. I just don't get all the hatred on here! Some very grinch like mothers on mumsnet

I agree with this, we don't do a special December 1st breakfast or a Christmas Eve box but that doesn't mean those who do are wrong or somehow inferior.

Just live and let live and do what's right for you and your family. You can do that without judging or looking down at others.

Wineat5isfine · 01/12/2022 12:17

It’s not about having too much time on one’s hand at all!

My two absolutely love it and I go ALL out, because it makes me happy to see their little faces light up each morning.

Each to their own! #elffan

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2022 12:21

DS has always found it creepy, nwo he's 7 he no longer thinks it is but I've told DS I ordered a nice one. This morning he tried to drink my coffee. I'm that level of energy.

Telling a 5 yo its crass consumerism and a lie full on unless you're also outing FC

Ihaveawonderfulpartner · 01/12/2022 12:25

We do it here for the six year old. Ten year old not remotely interested and we keep it low key. Just move them (he has lots. Loves them) so when he goes to bed and comes down in the morning they are in a different place. His face is a picture. Magical to be honest.

Chimna · 01/12/2022 12:26

We have a good elf that visits us. It's a beautiful Maileg elf in a little matchbox bed. It doesn't get up to mischief it observes. Sometimes it will move around the room and you may find it asleep in the nativity or cooking at the play kitchen but not every day. If I've bought a Christmas craft for after school or a new Christmas book that may appear with the elf. On Christmas eve he may leave a sachet of hot chocolate

Welliesandpyjamas · 01/12/2022 12:27

Never done elf on the shelf for our 3 dc. Eldest is 19 and youngest is 10. I think I just always told them that we don't do it in our house and that was accepted by them, or at least I don't remember any issues with that.

I've never understood why any parent would voluntarily add so much time consuming obligations in to their life at such a busy time of year, on top of the busyiness of raising children. There is plenty of wonderful magic about Christmas without all of that too.

Squirrelgate · 01/12/2022 12:29

I'm against the elf on principle (behaviour spies!?) and dislike the messages it sends. I tell DD we don't need an elf because FC is definitely coming.

HelenHywater · 01/12/2022 12:29

My elf just moves around if I don't forget and occasionally brings things. I cba with all the flour/toilet roll unravelling business.

I was actually an early adopter with the elf so have been doing it for 13 years or so! I'm surprised my youngest is still a believer, but she was still so excited this morning!

HelenHywater · 01/12/2022 12:30

My elf doesn't spy and there's no suggestion of taking things away for naughtiness. He just likes to come and spend December in the house with them.

sorenlorenson1 · 01/12/2022 12:30

Our elf is on strike this year, for better working conditions and better pay.
Last year, our elf had covid and was self isolating.

StarDolphins · 01/12/2022 12:32

I do it only so I can blackmail my DD into being a complete angel. I do get fed up with thinking of stuff for him to do though with minimal tidying up…

”Mummy, I wonder if he’ll do snow angels in flour”

“no sweetheart, he might just sit on the tv”

Peoplepissmeoff · 01/12/2022 12:32

peycho · 01/12/2022 11:51

I think people that do elf on the shelf have far too much time on their hands.

It literally takes a few seconds to move them from one position or room to another. Nothing elaborate, easy peasy.

CaveMum · 01/12/2022 12:34

We don’t do it, I really don’t see the point. My kids are 8 and 5, they’re not deprived in any way as a result. Each to their own but I hate the rampant consumerism around things like this now - one friend has posted pictures of the elf arriving last night alongside a pile of gifts that would have rivalled my Christmas Day haul as a child of the 80s!

Do what you like in your own household, but don’t splash it all over social media looking for parenting cookies!

Minikievs · 01/12/2022 12:34

JJJSchmidt · 01/12/2022 10:33

We had a similar situation a couple of years ago. My mum then 'helpfully' bought dd a sodding elf. I told her that the elf was a cheeky elf and that father Christmas had sent her to us to learn how to behave nicely because dd was a good example. Therefore she has to watch carefully and see if there is anything to repot to father Christmas, but the fewer antics we see, the better job dd is doing at teaching her elf good and kind manners.

My bloody mother came home with TWO elves for my kids! They'd been asking and asking for them and I said no. And she went and fucking got them.

It gives me the utter rage every single year and totally ruins the run up to Xmas for me. I can't STAND doing the fucking elves.

DaughterOfPsychiatrist · 01/12/2022 12:35

The Elf on the Shelf is a snitch for Santa’s Surveillance State!

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/dec/18/elf-on-the-shelf-isnt-real-christmas-tradition-post-truth-doll-intimidation