To ask you to rethink telling your children they're being watched 24/7 by Santa's spies?

[Algor1thm]

If the elves come to your house just to mess around and have a laugh with no reporting back on behaviour to Santa, I'm not talking to you.

If you've got Elf CCTV cameras or are sending little notes from Santa with spying updates, I am.

It's just awful. Imagine if you genuinely believed your boss was spying on you 24/7 in your own home for a month every year and was going to deduct your pay if you behaved in an age-appropriate way.

This

Oh ok, so that's how you spent your lockdown. Makes mine seem a bit boring. Makes my reading list look a bit boring too!

Honestly,, op, how many parents would actually say that? It is such rot, like the whole Santa thing. It's fun to pretend but to believe Father Christmas and elves are real is ridiculous. Better to teach children the story of St Nicholas and tell them that is how the Santa myth started (never mind elves).

cont'd.....
Bearing in mind that the story of the historical St Nicholas is shrouded in legend, nobody really knows that much about him but you wouldn't even attempt to tell children otherwise, unlike the Santa myth.

Oh my god OP I absolutely agree with you. I was appalled last year when I saw those awful elf surveillance cameras!! It isn't healthy at all. And we wonder why we have mental health issues in little kids??? It really is psychologically harmful. I have done research into the effects of surveillance culture on adults (i have a PhD on the topic) and it's bad - I can't imagine how much more harmful it is for children. It's deeply invasive (or at least had the perception of that), unsettling and disturbing. Foucault would have a lot to say about this!!

Using spycam elves to create a panopticon for one’s children is creepy AF.

I agree with @surreygirl1987 it is psychologically harmful to be under constant surveillance. I think that has been well established for years.

Also, behaviour guidance doesn’t work if you don’t follow through. How many parents would be ok with not letting their children have their long awaited Christmas presents? I couldn’t do it. Empty threats just teach your kids that they don’t have to take you seriously. If they know you won’t follow through then they will continue to misbehave.

Behaviour guidance works better when it is about teaching rather than punishing.

If having an elf makes children so stressed why do so many seem to look forward to its arrival? I don't own an elf but the children where I work are always almost bursting with excitement to tell me he's coming and what he's been up to each day. Most don't seem to associate it with behaviour watching at all. I think most parents use it as a harmless reminder to be good and you might get rewarded rather than anything else.

Have you just compared my boss to a magic elf?
And payroll to Santa?

Have a word OP

Have a look at the panopticon effect. We're all subjected to it whether we like it or not. At least my panopticon elf is cute and does funny things for us.

If an elf scares them, the St Nicholas story will properly traumatise them.

I think it’s the elf CCTV and constant surveillance that @Algor1thm is taking issue with, not the harmless, fun, elf on the shelf activity.

I think I'm with you on this. I do get the OPs point to a certain extent but for me it's the "my way of parenting is right so I'm going to make a post to tell you all that you're wrong if you don't do it this way" doesn't sit right with me. Who made you king of parenting?!

Have you read this thread? Loads apparently!

I don't know, after what you said to the mother of a very disabled teenager, are you in a position to judge this?

I said nothing rude. I work with disabled adults and I was shocked at someone using Santa/presents as a threat to control a disabled (almost) adult's behaviour. I don't agree with that, sorry. It's not something that would be acceptable in my line of work and if I heard of a parent doing that at work I'd consider it a safeguarding issue. I'm sure you're a great mum and I made no comments about anything other than the specific issue at hand, which I stand by.

Isn’t everyone their own king of parenting? If for example you don’t use the naughty step method for discipline, you will have come to that decision because even subconsciously you think the method you are using is superior to those that use the naughty step. You may not say it out loud but it’s implicit in the decision that you think your way is better.

The judgement goes both ways on this thread. Those that dislike the use of faux surveillance as control method have been called pathetic and killjoys. But it’s funny how people don’t see the judgement when they agree with those being judgemental.

I agree with you OP, that poster was incredibly aggressive in her responses to you from the off and I was shocked at some of what she said.

Just came to say I agree with you OP. We need to treat our children then way we would like to be treated, the whole naughty/nice thing is horrid tbh.

@Flapjackquack hmm not seeing how you've got to that. I haven't once said what you should and shouldnt do. I've said a preference but always say each to their own. Not like people who actually start threads to tell people how to parent.

@70billionthnamechange - I’m not sure why you can’t see how I got to that. Everyone is judging everyone’s parenting all the time when they make different decisions to each other. You don’t think telling someone they are pathetic and a killjoy for not telling their kid Santa is watching them is not judgemental?

@Flapjackquack 😂 so argumentative. Why you using other peoples words to argue with me. How odd. Never said pathetic or anything even remotely negative so please leave me alone.

@70billionthnamechange WTF? You don’t think your original post was argumentative to the OP ?! Got it you can post on a public forum but no one can challenge your opinion. The mind boggles.

@Flapjackquack ouch, so angry. I'm gonna tap out of this one as I wouldn't want to make you even more irate, which seems easy to do. Have a lovely day