Partner isn’t happy about an accidental pregnancy

[Txxmarie]

So I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant with mine and my partners second child . When I’ve told him he is quite angry and has blamed it all on me as I was waiting to start my period to take a new pill however have got pregnant in between . He says he doesn’t want another child incase this upsets his ex and affects his relationship with his older child he has from the previous relationship as when we had our first they was not happy . He’s said point blank he won’t have anything to do with me or the baby or our son if I keep the baby which for me is a definite I feel we’re both responsible and he can’t force me to not have another child based on not wanting to upset his ex . AIBU?

Well given he sounds like an utter wanker I'd merrily wave him goodbye personally and enjoy your baby!

Has he heard of condoms? Or celibacy until contraception started. You're both responsible for this. Ultimately, it's your body, your choice. I hope you can afford to bring up both children alone. Whether or not you continue the pregnancy, you should not continue this relationship.
His reasons are ridiculous and to say he'll disown his child is disgraceful.

Man ejaculates in woman and is shocked at outcome, what a twat

You’re not being unreasonable at all.
He sounds dreadful.

Thank you so much for the reassurance My thoughts exactly too however he sees it that I’m being selfish and cannot believe I’m doing this to him

Do you want the baby? If so call his bluff and if he really does abandon his children then you've had a lucky escape, what he is doing is coercive and abusive.

Guess you're single now, he's showing you who he is.

Will you listen?

😲 his reaction is atrocious!

Are you ok with him saying that about you and your son? What a horrible thing to say.

On that basis, I'd leave him. He sounds heartless and nasty.

Even if she doesn't want this baby, she deserves so much better than this manipulative twat

You're not doing anything to him. You both had unprotected sex, assuming you’d told him you weren’t on the pill, and you both know how babies are made, he’s done it at least twice before. If he’s threatening to leave you let him go. If you’re fine being a single mum to two then just let him walk. At least you won’t have to deal with his ex anymore.

Yes I do want the baby , I mean the thought of having another baby terrifies me but that’s life I’m also excited at the same time without going into detail he ruined my first pregnancy with our child so I feel this may be an actual blessing that he doesn’t want to stick around to ruin this one

Did he think you were protected from the pill at the time?

Either way, his reasoning is pathetic

I'm so sorry he reacted like this. He may have been in shock but its unexcusable.
Tbh he doesn't sound a keeper. Do you live together? Can you support your DC? I would be making plans to leave.
Whether you keep the baby is up to you. He is equally responsible for pregnancy but whether you keep baby or not j think you need to end this relationship-sorry.

It's amazing how many men get their partners pregnant and then blame their partners. Like our cervix is just supposed to turn into a barrier of steel if they happen to not want a baby.

Make sure you claim all the cms you are entitled to. Don't let him get in your head like he will no doubt try to that because this is 'your fault'he shouldn't have to pay.

The fact that he is happy to walk away from his son and you because he is worried about upsetting his ex and their child tells you everything you need to know about how much he cares about you or your son.

he knew I wasn’t on the pill at the time but refuses to use protection himself

Sorry…he’s threatening to abandon your existing child if you don’t have an abortion? Is that correct?

If my husband ever said that to me it would be the last words we spoke as a couple.

If he can make a threat like that then he’s not a committed and reliable father anyway, let alone a loving one. This doesn’t sound like a relationship that’s likely to last forever and when it fails, he’s almost certainly going to be a deadbeat dad given the fact he’s threatening to walk away from his child already. So you’d be foolish to terminate this pregnancy purely to appease him, because he’s unlikely to stay long term anyway.

I think you need to plan for single motherhood, whatever you decide to do regarding this pregnancy.

he really is a walking cliche isn't he

Happy enough to let you sort out contraception, doesn't bother to sort it out himself

Happy enough to risk you getting pregnant, doesn't bother to stand by you when he does

Happy enough to upset his second family, only bothered if he risks upsetting his first family

You can make the same case for banning abortion. Both male and females know what happens or risks happening when sex happens. So you are not being unreasonable in asserting this is a risk of sex and two consenting adults should bare that risk just like a woman in some states of the USA has the same reasoning put to her why she can't abort.

I completely agree, but i didn't want to assume that OP wanted to keep the baby without checking.

Well he sounds unpleasant, using emotional blackmail and not taking responsibility. If you terminate the pregnancy when you want to continue with it you could end up resenting him.

Which is stupid on his part always double up. In our relationship no sex happens without both parties taking precautions.

Let him walk, he sounds like a prick

Leave him.

Urgh what a prize HE is. Horrible man! If he didn't want another baby THAT BADLY, he should have worn a condom.

Who the F is voting YABU?