Partner isn’t happy about an accidental pregnancy

[Txxmarie]

So I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant with mine and my partners second child . When I’ve told him he is quite angry and has blamed it all on me as I was waiting to start my period to take a new pill however have got pregnant in between . He says he doesn’t want another child incase this upsets his ex and affects his relationship with his older child he has from the previous relationship as when we had our first they was not happy . He’s said point blank he won’t have anything to do with me or the baby or our son if I keep the baby which for me is a definite I feel we’re both responsible and he can’t force me to not have another child based on not wanting to upset his ex . AIBU?

Update , I kept the baby currently 13 + 2 and have nothing to do with my then partner and I know this was hundred percent the right decision , my children won’t miss out on anything not having him in their lives !

he knew I wasn’t on the pill at the time but refuses to use protection himself

What a hypocritical, immature, manipulative loser.

And how did he ruin your first pregnancy? Why did you stay with him?

My thoughts also, poor children

Urgh, I would not stay with someone who said what he said. You are better off without him.

whether you keep the pregnancy is up to you.

Did he believe you were on birth control or did he know you were off it and hadn't started it again?

Because if someone tells you they are on birth control or using a condom but they aren't - that is an issue.

Just seen the update. Wishing you all the best x

And is blaming you? God get rid of this loser from your life

Yes he knew I wasn’t on the pill and he would not use a condom .

I'm not one to talk about fate etc but it almost seems as if your new baby was sent as a wake up call. I can understand him not wanting another child, but the emotional blackmail he has used is disgusting.
He's a desperate man and he's angry, not just about the pregnancy but because of the power shift. YOU have thevpower OP. YOU decide what's right for YOU and YOUR children.
If you're living together ask him to leave and tell him you'll be taking legal advice and considering if YOU think it's in YOUR son's best interest to have contact will his dad. Tell him you'll go it alone with child 2 and will only expect maintenance and nothing more.
Watch him rant...then watch out for him weeding his way back in.

Clearly he is still shagging his ex and pretends to her that he isn't "with you" as such otherwise why has what she thinks got to do with anything?

Ahh thats good news, good luck!

So if you continue with the pregnancy that BOTH of you are responsible for, he's going to completely abandon you & his 2 children because his ex & his eldest child might be stroppy about it??!!

Jesus Christ. There are no words.

Except... LEAVE HIM!

Well said.
Op, this man doesn’t meet the definition of partner. You’ll be better off without him.

If you’re able to do it alone then have your baby. Sadly you can’t force him to want it or to be An active parent. You can force child maintenance though.

From your title, I presume it was one of those situations when the partners takes a bit of time getting used to the new, mother being pregnant. The mother suspects then tests, so already has processed the fact that they are pregnant by the time they tell their partner.

However, this is much more. I get he wants to maintain a good relationship with his child, but he’s prioritising his ex’s feelings over yours.

congratulations on your pregnancy.

He's a grade A twat.

Leave him you'll be much happier. Congratulations on your new pregnancy. I love your attitude!

Keep the baby, Ditch the twat - but don't be rude, wave him off as he leaves....

I think he is being dreadful. But why were you so careless about contraception. But he was no better re contraception. Let him walk away if thats what he decides. Don't have an abortion if you don't want one.

Not wishing to victim blame, and glad to read that you have got rid, but.......just why do some women stay with deadbeat men who are not fit to be parents? I can't imagine sleeping with someone who had made my first pregnancy unbearable, who blamed me for the mess he made of his first relationship.

He was hoping to reunite with his ex and you getting pregnant was a massive inconvenience to that as she will know you were both still shagging. Don't take this man back he's disgusting and don't have anymore children with idiots.

no you can’t because the consequences are not remotely the same/ comparable. No man is forced to undergo pregnancy and give birth, with major consequences for their bodies, health and personal autonomy.

Ah well, he shouldn’t have gotten his willy wet then should he? It takes two to make a baby and he appears to be one of those two. Tough shit and don’t allow him to make you feel bad.

He doesn't deserve you or your babies.

So he's worried about upsetting his ex and his older child therefore will abandon you and his youngest dc. He prioritises them over you.

@Txxmarie pack his bags for him.

He is abusive and selfish. Dump him and move on with your life focused on 2 lovely children. He will NEVER love or respect you. You are a warm hole who minds the kids, feeds him and houses him. That's it. That is why he thinks he can treat you this way.

Stand up for yourself and chuck the rotter back. Don't hold yourself back for him anymore. Imagine the great life you could have without having to bow to him all the time?

Go on, live your best life free of his weight!