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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much ‘effort’ you make with your appearance for work?

205 replies

Birkinbag · 27/11/2022 09:14

For context, I’m a manager in an administrative environment in my mid-30s. For the 15-ish years I’ve been working, I always get up earlier on days where I’m in the office to do my makeup and my hair - I have quite bad skin (acne scarring) so it’s partly a confidence thing, but mostly I just enjoy making myself look nice.

The other week at work, a couple of colleagues were talking about people who get ‘all dolled up’ for work and how pointless it is, and that we’re coming to work and not a fashion show. I don’t know if these comments were aimed at me or if I just happened to be there at the time but it’s made me feel really self conscious that people think I make too much effort and they’re laughing at me behind my back.

What are your thoughts - do you care about what your colleagues look like? Is it reasonable to get up half an hour early to put my face on when I am just working in an office?

OP posts:
Original poster
Birkinbag · 27/11/2022 18:34

Anyone?

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 27/11/2022 18:36

Nothing other than brush my hair and teeth (and wash of course). But I do t think anything either way about people who choose otherwise (unless they complain at me about the time it takes…).

Michellebops · 27/11/2022 18:37

Ignore them.
Haters are going to hate.

I used to do make up every day before I had my daughter. Now I hardly make any effort because we just don't have time in the morning.

But I would love to make more of an effort.

Notimeforaname · 27/11/2022 18:37

I do my make up every day without fail. I colour coordinate my clothes or jewelry/accessories or whatever.
But I do that whether I'm going to work or elsewhere.

Nothing wrong with doing what you like with yourself.

Nothing wrong with others thinking its pointless.

Freedom2023 · 27/11/2022 18:38

I always get dressed up for work but then I also get dressed up to take the bins out.
I don't have an opinion on those who don't so I honestly couldnt give a fuck what people think of me dressing up. Each to their own.

allthecrooksandnannies · 27/11/2022 18:38

I wear make up 99% of the time at work. Sometimes I don’t if I’ve slept in and don’t have time. I am so ugly without make up that I really do feel awful when I don’t wear it.

I certainly don’t judge those that do/don’t!

RoyKeanesBeard · 27/11/2022 18:38

I work in data, you should see the state of us on office days.

A few of the guys have slippers they keep at the office. I'm pretty much in leggings or dungarees. 😂

boogiejive · 27/11/2022 18:40

Most of the time you have a choice between being over dressed compared to other people, or under dressed compared to other people.

I would always prefer to be overdressed.

That said, I think it's very normal to do your hair and make up and wear decent clothing to work...

HundredMilesAnHour · 27/11/2022 18:41

I always wear make-up to work, do my hair, wear jewellery etc. But I'm a consultant in a client-facing role so we're expected to look smart and well presented.

PeloFondo · 27/11/2022 18:43

I'm always overdressed and have been since day 1, nobody cares
Makeup, nice dresses/outfits and I'm one of the only ones that wears heels. Our dress code is smart business casual (no denim, trainers, UGGs etc)

However I WFH now so Grin anything goes

tickticksnooze · 27/11/2022 18:43

Clean and tidy is fine for me.

People chat about all kinds of crap to pass the time at work. Taking any of it seriously or personally is a waste of energy.

Stressfordays · 27/11/2022 18:43

I'm a nurse but still do my hair and make up. Look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards after a 12 hour shift though. I do my hair and make up the minute I wake up every day without fail, its a habit now.

Sagittarius25 · 27/11/2022 18:43

I work in an office environment as a HR advisor and always do full make up, hair and wear jewellery. Partly because I want to look nice and professional but also feel I look about 14 without make up on (I'm 27) 😂

Athenen0ctua · 27/11/2022 18:43

I make the same effort for work as for any other everyday activity that requires me to leave the house. Only exceptions would be putting a jacket over pyjamas to pick up DS from sport at night (stay in car), or putting on a nice jumper for a birthday dinner. I don't wear make up and my hair is short enough not to need styling.

schoolsoutforever · 27/11/2022 18:44

I shower, Apply a 5 min make up, brush and sometimes style my hair. I wear clothes that are sort of put together a bit. I just prefer to look like I’m not slouching at home. I’m not at all bothered what anyone else does. I wouldn’t worry about what was said - it probably wasn’t directed at you but I can understand why you might take it that way.

TheChosenTwo · 27/11/2022 18:44

Also admin based and mix wfh with being in the office.
im always clean and freshly showered but I don’t make much effort with my appearance in general, be it for the office or just wfh.
i always look professional and on days where I am expected to be in meetings in person I make sure my nails are tidy and probably straighten my hair but I don’t bother with makeup unless I have a spot I’ve picked and want to conceal!
Everyone else in the office takes a similar stance tbh but in my old job (school), people made varying degrees of afford.
If it makes you feel happy then carry the fuck on and ignore those niggles - be yourself and don’t change anything to ‘fit it’. Even though I can’t be arsed I think it’s nice when people do make an effort to look a bit more polished!

TheChosenTwo · 27/11/2022 18:44

Effort not afford 😂

Athenen0ctua · 27/11/2022 18:45

As long as I look well presented by the standard that a man would be held to then I consider that enough.

Cleopatra67 · 27/11/2022 18:46

I’m 55 and a teacher. I commute so have to leave early. I wear a light foundation, blusher, eyeshadow, mascara, eyebrow gel, eyeliner and a nude lipstick. I wear dresses with opaque tights and boots most of the time. I like to look my best and feel confident.

ChaliceinWonderland · 27/11/2022 18:46

Always makeup, hair, coordinated clothes, i work in a school, some of the teachers look a right mess but who cares? Each to their own. Previous job was an air stewardess and once you've done your years as a dolly in the skies its near impossible to leave off the slap!

tickticksnooze · 27/11/2022 18:47

Nobody expects men to paint their face in order to be considered "smart" or "professional".

Cleopatra67 · 27/11/2022 18:48

Oh and I always wear earrings and a necklace. Staff at my school have varied approaches to work wear.

5128gap · 27/11/2022 18:48

Our office has everything from just rolled out of bed to significant effort. All is fine. I've always made some effort, but during lockdown when I carried on going in as a KW, I found I ramped it up quite a bit, as did other colleagues, as it was our only chance to get out of the house and dressed up. I've carried this on on days when I feel like it, and I must admit, it makes me feel good, and is a nice contrast to my WFH in my leggings days.

tickticksnooze · 27/11/2022 18:48

Athenen0ctua · 27/11/2022 18:45

As long as I look well presented by the standard that a man would be held to then I consider that enough.

Exactly.

HintofVintagePink · 27/11/2022 18:48

I love my colleagues because if you feel like making a real effort one day they notice and appreciate it, but if you feel like slouching in jeans and a mum bun they don’t care either. It’s very comforting.

If we have meetings then we’re expected to look formal and presentable. If we’re desk based all day then anything goes really.