To ask how much ‘effort’ you make with your appearance for work?

[Birkinbag]

For context, I’m a manager in an administrative environment in my mid-30s. For the 15-ish years I’ve been working, I always get up earlier on days where I’m in the office to do my makeup and my hair - I have quite bad skin (acne scarring) so it’s partly a confidence thing, but mostly I just enjoy making myself look nice.

The other week at work, a couple of colleagues were talking about people who get ‘all dolled up’ for work and how pointless it is, and that we’re coming to work and not a fashion show. I don’t know if these comments were aimed at me or if I just happened to be there at the time but it’s made me feel really self conscious that people think I make too much effort and they’re laughing at me behind my back.

What are your thoughts - do you care about what your colleagues look like? Is it reasonable to get up half an hour early to put my face on when I am just working in an office?

I always, always make an effort- always have makeup done, hair done and fashionable clothes. Comments like your colleagues made reek of jealousy to me.I know work isnt a fashion show but I dress to express myself and to please myself, not others. They are jealous, bitter bitches in my experience. I used to work with a woman who went on and on about how makeup wasnt natural and how women shouldnt make an effort as its fake etc etc. Turns out she was bitter because she didnt know how to apply makeup properly and didnt have the spare cash to get much of it. This all came out one time when she was drunk at a works do. So, usually these comments stem from jealousy.

Sometimes - so when we have clients coming in but apart from that… as I told my old boss ‘you want me to dress like I did when I worked in the city you need to pay me a city salary’.

Not a lot. I feel better when I make a modicum of effort, with a bit of make up and an intentional clothing combination, however often it is no make up and the bag of laundry look.

I really doubt your colleagues were talking about you, they were just bonding. if they were they are idiots.

I used to do my hair and make up and wear nice clothes to work. It was a big open plan office with clients in and out so it was important to look smart. I liked looking nice for work then. Roll on twenty years and now I make minimal effort and rarely wear make up as I’m no longer in an office or mix with clients. I don’t dress up for myself nowadays either, so if no one is going to see I don’t bother.

I dress well for work, hair done, make up on, heels, etc. Love it, lol. I am in a senior position these days but have always done that.

How much effort do you make with your appearance for work ?

Not a lot. I mean, when I am out and not wfh, I am likely to wear shoes rather than slippers....

What are your thoughts - do you care about what your colleagues look like?

No, not really. I mean, as long as they fall within normal limits..... I think there are some things that are unprofessional both at the scruffy and 'dressed up' end of the spectrum, but it doesn't bother me if someone wants to look smarter than I do or if they want to look more casual than I do.

Is it reasonable to get up half an hour early to put my face on when I am just working in an office?

Well, I can't see the point myself, but if it makes you feel more comfortable / happier, then it's no skin off my nose.

'Dressed up' could mean a lot of things, but personally I think clean and presentable is the baseline, but well dressed is generally not 'obvious' (eg you don't think wooo, isn't she FANCY! when you see her, you just notice in retrospect that she looks great).

Very obvious time-consuming or uncomfortable things are on the negative side of 'dressed up' - so for example, perfect waist length mermaid tonged hair, immaculate facial contouring and/or huge amounts pf make up. Massive fake eye lashes. Dated shift dresses that are a size too small anyway, and never have darts in the right place. Very high heels teamed with an inadevertent comedy walk - These are all 'dressed up' but not in a good way....

I shower and blow dry my hair because I feel physically better for it. I do the same when WFH. But I just shove jeans and a jumper on now that we've gone full casual and rarely both with make up. I don't want to feel obliged to put it on; it's more fun when it's occasional.

Doubt it was aimed at you so carry on as you are. Important for you to look how you want to look.

I wear makeup because it takes 5 minutes and I look so much better.

When my mental health is bad I make no effort at all, but I always admire those women who are beautifully groomed and turned out day after day.

You sound delightful

I start the day smart but rarely end it looking smart!

Its kind of like anything in life, if you like doing it, then do it.

I love trying out new make up, new clothes/outfits, hair styles and my life is quite boring and work is one place I have to go. I don't do it under duress. Its an opportunity to express yourself.

I don't think people think I wear a lot of make up and to be fair I only spend about 10 minutes on it but it makes a MASSIVE difference to how alert/awake and motivated I feel. If I do have a spot it affects my day as I might try to avoid looking too much at people.

So I guess there's also some societal pressures at play but I'd still prefer that than everyone walking round in grey utility wear. There was a thread on Style and Beauty the other day where a lot of people were bemoaning how grey and casual things are now at work, like a race to the bottom - I mean there's nothing wrong with it and I'm glad the days are gone where women were expected to wear high heels but it doesn't provide much visual interest. I judge men and women equally on this. But to go back to the beginning people who don't like it, shouldn't have to.

I've said it before on these threads, some people look better with a bit of makeup, and some people don't. It's a case of knowing which you are. I (with acne - scarred skin and a potato - shaped face) look better with eyeliner and tinted moisturizer, my colleague (who has perfect skin and high cheekbones) looks great unadorned.

If anyone at work wears make up or puts on smart clothes we all think job interview or funeral.

Jeans / leggins / trousters are the unofficial uniforms here. No nice clothes, no heels, very little jewellery.

We are social workers working with teens in care. Can't run or restrain heels.

8 women and not one wears make up.

In my own view any woman should feel she needs to put a face up and get up earlier to this. It makes me feel sick.
I dont do anything else then brush my hair. I stopped putting my earrings in as they tend to hurt.

It depends on the office culture.

If everyone wears full make up then it's odd not to. (Not wrong but you stick out)

If it's an office of no make up then you will seem odd to be 'dolled up'.

I've always been in mixed offices. I've gone halfway- bit of foundation, mascara and lip gloss.

Do whatever makes you happy. Personally, I've little need to bother making an effort, I really don't care all that much what people think and we are so short staffed they aren't going to fire me.

I do the same as you OP, mostly WFH and no make up, we meet up about once every 6 weeks and I make an effort to looks smart and professional, dont think my lounge pants would be a good look :)

Where I work there is a very glamourous Director, who looks like she should be a model, I think most of us just admire her style and how she manages to look so good.

Since Covid we can dress casually and I wear jeans, jumpers and trainers most days. Wash my hair every other day but when I don't wash it I use dry shampoo and put it up. No make up for ages as had a rash on my face and trying not to aggravate it.

I also keep my nails fairly short but I do paint them to try and protect from the endless locking and unlocking of prison gates and doors

I'm always washing my hands as it all feels so grimy

My God. Your co worker is lazy. I always dress up. I’m not working at the moment. I’m have small baby but gonna go back to work soon. I always put makeup and do my hair first thing in the morning even if i’m just at home. And i still put nice clothes at home not pjs all day. I’m sorry but i think people who dont put an effort to look good its too lazy

None, but I'm a dog walker so it would be a total waste of time, lol.