To ask how much ‘effort’ you make with your appearance for work?

[Birkinbag]

For context, I’m a manager in an administrative environment in my mid-30s. For the 15-ish years I’ve been working, I always get up earlier on days where I’m in the office to do my makeup and my hair - I have quite bad skin (acne scarring) so it’s partly a confidence thing, but mostly I just enjoy making myself look nice.

The other week at work, a couple of colleagues were talking about people who get ‘all dolled up’ for work and how pointless it is, and that we’re coming to work and not a fashion show. I don’t know if these comments were aimed at me or if I just happened to be there at the time but it’s made me feel really self conscious that people think I make too much effort and they’re laughing at me behind my back.

What are your thoughts - do you care about what your colleagues look like? Is it reasonable to get up half an hour early to put my face on when I am just working in an office?

I think I know you! Are you recent in your post?

I do make some effort for work but I usually do anyway. I have same as you, old acne scars, so always wear BB cream and concealer - and I am very fair so like to wear mascara otherwise can’t see my eyelashes! but I couldn’t care less what others do - obv would prefer my colleagues to be clean! I have one male colleague who wear so much after shave I makes me feel sick…

I have worn make ever since my Aunty let me free in her make bag at14 years of age!
Obviously not to school until 6th form, it was definitely not allowed in the grammar school I attended.
My first job was in a boutique when I was 13! So you can tell that I am older than many of you.
I love make up and clothes and really enjoy using them to make me feel, well, however I want. I have had many styles over the years and loved them all.

One of our neighbours is in her 80s and wears the most fabulous, stylised make up and dresses so smartly. She used to work on the Dior make up counter in John Lewis and travelled throughout the UK promoting cosmetics. It’s a joy to see her as she gets so much enjoyment from it and brightens my day.

I have another good friend who never wears makeup and a very simple style. She too always looks fabulous because that suits her perfectly.

OP it is simple, you should do whatever makes you feel good.

I always present nicely for work. Full but natural makeup; hair styled neatly and appropriately for my job. Simple jewellery and fresh clean clothes.

I do tend to wear a lot of black though thinking about it.

Some days I remember to brush my hair! On occasion I might remember mascara

but when you wear your hair up (requirement of my job) all the time
false/ long and painted nails are forbidden and you wear scrubs / mask all day
’making an effort’ is way down on my list of priorities
i think day 2 of college was the day I ditched makeup at work

I enjoy making myself look nice for office days and do it for myself really. Most of the time I'm a slob working at home so it gives me a chance to feel good. Ignore your colleagues and it's really unlikely that it was aimed at you (otherwise they are complete knobs).

I don’t go out made up every day, but one of my favourite ever sayings is “you can never be overdressed or overeducated” by Oscar Wilde. It means I no longer feel embarrassed by making an effort.

They were making the comment for your benefit, I had other mothers doing the same to me at a toddlers club we used to go to.
I mean, why did it matter to them that I wore makeup, I wore it for work, I always wear makeup, and like to, and look better with it.
I didn’t have conversations about them not wearing makeup.

People are just awful quite often, do whatever makes you feel better.

I wear light make up and half decent clothes but our dress code is very casual so I don’t worry too much. If you work in an office where it’s normal for
colleagues to passive aggressively make comments between them, aimed at you, I’d leave. Highly bitchy and not acceptable. If your office not normally a highly bitchy toxic environment then it’s safe to assume they were just chatting and none of it was aimed at you. As they said it’s not a fashion show
so why would anyone care what you wear and you don’t need
to care what anyone else
thinks.

I do wear make up every day but I'm definitely not all dolled up - it takes me 10-15 minutes. In my workplace it would look bizarre if you turned up with a lot of make up - contouring, blended eye shadows, or fake eyelashes, anything unsubtle. People would look at you like you're an alien. It's a very intellectual environment so no high heels really or glam outfits.

I wear a small amount of makeup every day - takes no more than 3 minutes. I can shower dress and groom in 15 mins

I WFH which is great as I dont really need to give a shit.
Most days I wear leggings / jeggings with a tshirt or jumper.
Brush my hair, brush my teeth, shower, put some tinted moisturiser on, thats it.
My colleagues and manager dress quite similar. Also casual.
I had one colleague zooming in her oodie! I wouldn't go that far, but she's a great worker and a good laugh and that's really what matters.
If I do have an important zoom call or face to face meeting, I make a bit more of an effort (might add a bit of lippy, necklace, nicer top or dress).
God bless working from home.

I don’t wear make up ever and my hair is fine without faffing
However I am always well dressed with nice shoes, appropriate jewellery and accessories
I love fancy nails too
I enjoy dressing up whether for work or any other occasion

I wear scrubs but always have minimal makeup because I like it. Nails are short and clean. Hair is left to air dry.
I can’t control what kind of day I might have but I can start the day feeling ok about myself (the end of the day is a different story).

do you care about what your colleagues look like?

No

how much ‘effort’ you make with your appearance for work?

As little as I can get away with. I try to keep the chin hairs under control, wear something clean & not smelly, brush my hair, keep food off my front... My office is all blokes so not showing off my bra seems like a good plan, too.

You do you, OP.

I do it for me - you do it for you and enjoy!

Don't worry about what other people think, do what makes you happy!

Love and power, honey

I do notice that making an effort makes me feel more well put together and efficient which affects my sense of self-esteem. It's a bit like putting on armour. The better dressed I am, the less ammunition anyone has to suggest I am incompetent, disorganised or haven't made an effort. So I can totally relate do people wanting to do full make-up and hair.

In practice I do this a lot less than I used to because I wfh at least two days a week and on the days I go into the office I have a mad scramble to get ready. So I'm not nearly as well put together as I used to be.

But anyone who judges anyone else for putting their best foot forward at work is an arsehole.

I wear make up and do my hair but it’s minimal - mascara, foundation and stud earrings.

I enjoy getting more done up on my days off if I’m going somewhere and I feel if I got too done up during my work hours then I wouldn’t feel as good on the weekends.

I’m fortunate that I don’t need make up as I have dark eyelashes and reasonably clear skin but it just makes me feel ready to go to work if I put a bit on.

I also work in a school where students aren’t allowed to wear too much make up so I like to show that I follow the rules too.

I can’t control what kind of day I might have but I can start the day feeling ok about myself

I love this.

Also office worker. I'm the only female in my team that wears make up to work apart from my boss. I couldn't give a flying fuck what they think. I wear make up most days unless I'm wfh and on those days I don't wear any.

I always wear makeup but I've got it down to a science, so a full face only takes me about one minute to apply. Hair goes up in a bun as it's long and I fuss with it too much when I wear it down. I used to take much longer to get ready but I just can't be bothered anymore as I seem to look the same in the end either way.

I suspect that was to do with you suddenly looking different from the way you normally look.
If you didn't wear make up usually, no-one would think you looked ill.

If someone wants to wear make up, then they're welcome to spend the time doing so. I'd have no opinion. But not wearing make up does NOT mean unprofessional, and it never should be considered necessary in any role.

Well said.

I also work in a school.

I always wear make up although it's pretty minimal (concealer on my eye bags, any spots and then mascara and lip gloss) and make sure my hair is tidy.

I tend to wear either trousers and a smart ish too. Or dresses with tights and boots now it's colder.

I'd say maybe if 0 is the most casual person at my place of work and 100 the most I'm generally between 40-50th place and that's where I'm comfortable sitting.

I wish I had the skill and time to have amazing hair and make up like some of my colleagues but generally on non work days I wear no make up and jeans and a hoody so to me my mon-Fri feels a big effort.

I'm currently not working at the moment but when I did, I would have worn the same dress every day if I could get away with it. But of course people would notice and make little comments and no doubt my boss would get me into her office to ask if I was OK in case she thought I was struggling. That would be embarrassing.

The dress is smart and appropriate for work but still.