To ask how much ‘effort’ you make with your appearance for work?

[Birkinbag]

For context, I’m a manager in an administrative environment in my mid-30s. For the 15-ish years I’ve been working, I always get up earlier on days where I’m in the office to do my makeup and my hair - I have quite bad skin (acne scarring) so it’s partly a confidence thing, but mostly I just enjoy making myself look nice.

The other week at work, a couple of colleagues were talking about people who get ‘all dolled up’ for work and how pointless it is, and that we’re coming to work and not a fashion show. I don’t know if these comments were aimed at me or if I just happened to be there at the time but it’s made me feel really self conscious that people think I make too much effort and they’re laughing at me behind my back.

What are your thoughts - do you care about what your colleagues look like? Is it reasonable to get up half an hour early to put my face on when I am just working in an office?

Not a lot but if I have meetings I do make an effort and I feel very good about myself when I do and think I should do it more often!

I’ve always tended to wear a little bit of make up to make myself feel presentable. However I work in IT with mostly men, and to be honest I don’t think any of them give a shit whether I’m wearing make up or not, or could care less about what I’m wearing

I always shower, do my make up and wear clean clothes every day. Even when I was a SAHM to babies and going nowhere but the supermarket 😂 I do it for myself though as I like to look nice.

When I was working the bare minimum but I am blessed with my Fathers genetics and have eyelids that are darker so actually look like I’m wearing eyeshadow and I have even skin tone. Now I’m older I’m getting a Few age spots.

I’ve always got up early to do hair and makeup and so it’s just part of my morning routine. It takes me about an hour. I enjoy putting on my makeup and seeing myself go from the horrendous mess I wake up as to something reasonably presentable! But I wouldn’t ever think anything of somebody who didn’t do the same, and would completely understand why someone who prefer to sleep that extra hour.

When I’m in the office I do wear light makeup and a lot of my colleagues do. When I was in my 20s and didn’t look tired of course I dialled down the makeup.

Waiting to go into an interview a few years ago I put some lipstick on and the female interviewer came out, saw me and made a nice comment about it. Eg non judgmental. Should be no one’s business but your own if you wear makeup or not.

I'm getting to an age where I'm just kidding myself that makeup makes me look any better. I am incredibly pale though, so makeup, no matter how light, at least gives me a face.

If I don't wear any at all in winter, people ask me if I'm ill. I can happily go without in summer.

Like other teachers on here, people in my place are the full spectrum of makeup and fashion.

I'm a teacher and leave the house early. I don't tend to wear makeup unless I have a spot to cover, which luckily is rare these days. I make an effort with my clothes and my hair although I tend to keep it neat and simple with hair. I don't stand out as very overdressed or underdressed at work.

That's such a good point about the office culture! I changed roles and companies and if I dressed as casually with little makeup in my last job, I would have stuck out as much as if I dressed like I did then in my current job.

When I had a line manager making comments like this to me it was because she was a jealous arse. They could also just be throwaway comments. Don’t worry op. I feel at my best in how I dress - I like doing make up, nice smart clothes that make me feel good and my job is important to me so I like to feel at my best, so that’s all that matters. As long as I’m not breaching any dress code etc. Try not to worry. Most things like negative comments are about the person not you, and like pp I would judge someone talking like that rather than the person that likes to get ‘dressed up.’ But then I despise cowardly bullies.

It's not lazy.
What a weird thing to say

Many of us don't feel we need to hide behind some sort of 'image'. We are who we are, and what we look like isn't necessarily a big part of that.

I like to wear a skirt / blouse or a dress. I dress down the rest of the time so quite like wearing something a bit nicer

Its also weird to say that anyone who likes to make an effort with their appearance is "hiding behind an image"- thats just as rude as saying people are lazy- you are no better

I work in a clinical environment so there's literally no point as im a stinky sweaty mess at the end of a shift and I hate the feeling of my masks when I'm wearing foundation etc. I wear mascara though 🙃

I work in ICU so just clean and tidy with my hair up. If you’re in full PPE you’ll sweat like a pig anyway so trust policy is to take a shower when you come off shift. Apart from that after a 12 hour shift you’ll look like a scarecrow and feel like one.

I take pride in my appearance for me, not for work. I make the effort daily regardless of what my plans are

I’m a primary teacher, some days I wear gym gear, others a nice dress, it depends on what is happening in the classroom that day. Whatever I wear, I’m always presentable and clean. I wear quite minimal make up, but I take good care of my skin, keep fit and I have my hair and nails done regularly. I think you perform better if you feel good about yourself.

I always wear make up to work.

And if I don't I get asked if I'm tired/sick/vegan
I just wear rimmed foundation, under eye concealer, bit of bronzer, nude ish lipstick and mascara.
I want to so I do.
I did used to work with younger people who rolled in to work in ..... the slouchiest looking outfit and young faces and I don't think I can pull that off.

How do you keep clean? I just walk through the reception class and end up with glue and lord knows what on my clothes!

What a bloody horrid thing to say.

I couldn't care less- on an office day the only difference is that I slap a bit of foundation on.
Otherwise no difference from wfh days and even though I'm on teams calls a lot of the time I rarely bother with my face.
I genuinely wouldn't think to comment or even care about what others choose to do. Provided they're clean and tidy that's enough for me.

I’m not dressed properly unless I have filled my eyebrows in and at least put mascara on. I usually do a bit of light foundation.

I don’t think it makes a good impression not to look like you are invested in your appearance. No need to do a full face of make up but proper clothes, hair done and light make up are important I think.

Same. There aren’t many opportunities to dress up these days so I like the excuse to dress a bit smarter!

Personally I’d never go to work without hair done/make up/nice clothes - nothing excessive, but definitely more pulled together than on my day off. Some people in my office don’t bother though and I don’t judge them and hope they don’t judge me…

@Birkinbag, I'm curious - because I see so much shoehorned into AIBU which seemingly would be better elsewhere - why did you choose to post this here, instead of in the Work or Style forums?

i always make an effort. I think it shows self -respect, respect for your workplace and certainly makes me feel more confident. I hate these people who deliberately make others ‘overhear’ pointed comments. They seem to be concerned about being compared unfavourably to you and might be a bit jealous. You do you x