Popularity is genetic?

[wakeywakeyeggsandbacy]

As a child I was pretty unpopular. I was in a very small year group which didn’t help but I was always left out or on the periphery. I had one close friend outside of school from my swimming lesson but she was pretty quirky herself.

I made good friends at secondary, ups and downs and I did fall out with some on and off but I’m solid friends with about 6 or 7 now, still, some closer than others.

Same at university, don’t see each other much now we have DC but there was a little group of us.

I haven’t made loads as an adult but a few along the way - baby groups, school mums, work etc.

I’m definitely not “popular” though. There were the popular/cool kids at school and I wasn’t one of them. There’s a group of parents at my DC school who you just knew were the popular kids at school - still like it now and cliquey. Their kids are the same.

My DC are “unpopular”. Eldest is 7 and has two friends, struggles with the other kids. Littlest is still young but definitely not one of the “popular” ones. DH also similar as a child but made a decent group at secondary.

My parents are the same. I worry so much for my DC as I had a miserable time at primary.

@yoyy thank you, to be fair it’s only one or two posters who’ve been a bit harsh but that’s mumsnet for you.

Yes I’m happy with the amount of friends I have now as an adult, I have groups from school, university, work and then as mentioned a few I’ve stayed friends with along the way, baby groups and school parents. I’ve been a bridesmaid three times and been on about 15 hen do’s so im definitely not short! I don’t think I’ve given that impression but if I have I haven’t meant to.

DH and I don’t have loads of joint friends, I guess that would be nice. As I mentioned above I do a lot with just my friends, although he does like and get along with them.

I didn’t do NCT so don’t have that I wasn’t a popular child though, definitely a bit awkward and/or annoying!

I read a book about this once but can't remember the name - I think it's a bit genetic because attraction is apparently all about face symmetry, how tall you are, athletic ability, testosterone (for boys which makes them seem like leaders) and all that business amd I guess you inherit those things. Also I guess if families buy a bit of the designer stuff and the like, and encourage mainstream activities like gaming the kid has more in common with other kids easier, and make friends easier because of that (although that isn't genetic). And the book said there was an ideal intelligence level band where you weren't too smart but were averagely smart so you could connect with the majority of people easier (which is genetic obviously).

IQ is not genetic. It is both nature and nurture.

@wakeywakeyeggsandbacy I get that. You see these people having huge 'group' events. I've never had a 'posse' if you like. I have friends but not a huge group that all know and socialise with each other. Those are the pictures you see on Facebook. I have always been a bit jealous of that tbh. I actually prefer socialising in smaller groups. I'm more introverted but I do feel a bit inadequate as it looks fun!