Do you have any opinions on how long is 'too long' to breastfeed your child?

[elephantonacid]

Feeling awfully judged and wondering if anyone has an opinion on this?

I stopped on my ds 3rd birthday.

I am a bad ass warrior bitch though and nothing and no one was going to make me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about that.
I had treacherous determination.

Couldn’t give a shiny shite about anyone else’s choices of when to stop or what they even feed their child. No interest whatsoever.
It’s personal. The end.

Breastfed my first dd for 3years and it was too long for me. I couldnt wean her any earlier. Made plans to wean 2DD before her 2nd bday but she just turned 3 and still going but will wean very soon

No I couldn't give a rats arse. And that's coming from someone who wasn't able to BF. I think the biological "norm" is until milk teeth fall out? He'll stop when he is ready OP, don't let anyone question yourselves about if he "need" it. Theres nothing wrong with a young child wanting comfort from their Mummy. Human milk for human kids ;). Bet noone thinks anything of giving their 4 year old cows milk!

I think its odd when people tandem feed.

This almost never happens in the natural world & is rare in the developing world too and you often lose your milk in pregnancy so its quite an effort to do it.

So then i make an assumption that for a lot of people, fertility would return by a couple of years post birth, and you'd likely be pregnant again (leading to natural weaning) between 2 & 3, and in my head that makes sense as a natural weaning age. Its also around the time a child has all their teeth & should be eating well etc.

If im honest i find it a bit odd when people are still going with 3+ year olds.

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen
Love this response ❤️

How long is a piece of string? Tired, maybe once every couple of weeks if we've been out and he's too cranky to sleep. Poorly, every so often. Anxious completely depends. When we moved house it was quite a lot. Now a lot less. He doesn't NEED to be breastfed but he enjoys it and it can be really beneficial at times.

What's the functional difference if he is feeding for comfort?

Why do you think that "for survival" is the only acceptable reason to breastfeed, though? Because that's just the weird, squeamish badthink of people who fundamentally don't like breastfeeding but have been forced by overwhelming evidence to acknowledge that, you know, we're mammals and that formula is an inferior substitute for breast milk.

When it becomes forced. So a parent chasing after a child to offer them a feed is different to a child of the same age needing comfort.

Honestly I would be surprised to see a school aged child feeding simply because I've never seen it anywhere other than Social media, usually accompanied by quotes about free range parenting... but I'm aware of other people (from Internet forums) who do it without fanfare. My own DD fed until 2.5 and the only real life people who knew where family and a couple of friends, plus the HV.

No I couldn't give a rats arse. And that's coming from someone who wasn't able to BF. I think the biological "norm" is until milk teeth fall out? He'll stop when he is ready OP, don't let anyone question yourselves about if he "need" it. Theres nothing wrong with a young child wanting comfort from their Mummy. Human milk for human kids ;). Bet noone thinks anything of giving their 4 year old cows milk!
Very well said!

It's weird hearing people criticising breastfeeding if it brings the child comfort, even though folk think nothing of having dummies, special teddies, special blankets, bottle of formula, cup of cows milk and all sorts to offer comfort to their child.

I got to the point where I started asking anyone who said stupid comments what why they believed it was wrong for me to comfort my child in a way they found helpful.

Can anyone explain to me the actual reason WHY it's weird, other than because 'people think it's weird'?

If you are already feeling judged I don’t think other people’s opinions of ‘too long’ are really going to help.
I imagine what is too long for me might not be too long for you.

I was told I must feed until 2 if I could (allergy baby) so just went with that.

I think extended breastfeeding is like bedsharing, one of those things people think is niche and hippy and rare because most of the people doing it don't go on about it but are just quietly getting on with doing what works best for their family.

To me it’s not exclusive to breastfeeding, I would also think 4 is too old to sleep in a cot, have a dummy or drink from a bottle.
If someone posted about their school age child still having a dummy I don’t think the thread would be encouraging that.

It doesn’t matter though, people do different things with their children.

My 3.5 is still nursing (bloody loads this week as he has cold). I can’t see him weaning before 4. DH wants him finished before school but I genuinely can’t see the point in forcing the issue at this point. He’ll stop when he stops.

in comparison I doubt the baby will still be nursing at 3. Completely different personalities.

Because people associate breasts with sex rather than their biological function

I fed DS until he self weaned at 4. There’s nothing with it as long as you are both happy.

For me personally if they can hold a conversation with you then it's too old....like age 4....

Wouldn't it then apply to breastfeeding all kids though regardless of age?

It’s all personal opinion though. My personal opinion is 18 months, possibly 2 years max. I fed dc until 18 months.

I have a 4 year old who is at school. I would find feeding her now, gross.

Can anyone explain to me the actual reason WHY it's weird, other than because 'people think it's weird'?

Because I suppose i see oral stimulation as the most basic/primitive form of comfort, and expect that as a baby grows and develops emotionally and with more language, they'll move on to more developed forms of seeking comfort.

But why though? Not being goady, just wondering what the actual reason is?

If either you or the dc wants to stop then stop.

Its nothing to do with anyone else.

For me, aged about 4 would be about the limit.

Both mine self-weaned at about 16 months - as in, around that age, they didn’t ask for it. Unless I actively offered it to them (got my boob out) they wouldn’t think of it. And just as happy with cows milk.

I do sometimes privately wonder with women feeding older toddlers, does the toddler actually intentionally seek out the boob? Or is the mum just sort of going “okay it’s morning/night time routine so it’s breastfeeding time” and the toddler complies. But that’s just because of my experience where DC get to a certain age and stop asking (far too distracted by toddling round/play etc, and preferring to eat snacks).

I think anyone judging a mum for breastfeeding their child is a fucker though.