Do you have any opinions on how long is 'too long' to breastfeed your child?

[elephantonacid]

Feeling awfully judged and wondering if anyone has an opinion on this?

No but as your own mother did it, then I assum your family is and as you only do it at home, who exactly is judging you, who are these people surrounding you judging you? Becsyde it’s starting to read that you started this hoping for a bun fight and some media attention.

Why what the mum wants rather than what the baby wants (vs what they 'need')?

I produce a lot of milk, I could fill a bottle in a day if I expressed now. Had a huge oversupply and lactate even pre pregnancy (no idea why!). So I just produce a lot of milk naturally.

What do you mean by ‘adults benefit?’ You do realise that biologically children are supposed to bf until their milk teeth fall out? It was quite common in to bf until 6-9 across the globe before the Victorians / English colonial culture sexualised breasts.

Oh god no I didn't post for that reason at all!!!! It's my friends and extended family who are judgemental and have passed comments.

What benefit do you think op is getting from it?

Spoken by someone who hasn't experienced the acrobatics from a kid who doesn't want to lie nicely but wants to nurse. Ignorant 🙄i suppose you put breastfeeding in public in the peeing category as well.

DS self-weaned just before he turned 3. I wouldn't have stopped him earlier, and would have continued as long as he wanted to.

Honest question, if a child does not breast feed for a week does there continue to be a milk supply?

I struggled to feed and ds was fed only until 8 weeks and dd stopped being interested at about 8 months (there was far too much going on during 1/2 term for her to stay latched). Therefore I have no experience of extended bf.

I hate this. If we’re going to stop shaming mums for not breastfeeding can we stop shaming them for extending breastfeeding please?

DC 1 self weaned at 1ish
DC 2 we gently weaned at just turned 3
DC 3 is 15 months & still BF.

Even my own mother has made negative comments. ‘It’s only for you at this point.’ Was my favourite. Not sure what she thinks I’m gaining out of it, I could have a whole weekend away if they stopped! It makes me angry. Crack on OP, it’s a very natural, normal thing that society is ruining and I bet you and your son have a lovely bond.

but breastfeeding doesn't inhibit 'learning, making friends and everything school comes with'? They're not doing it AT SCHOOL. Mum isn't there.

I worry about my child being bullied for all sorts of things. I don't try and stamp those things out of her though. I try and teach her resilience and to believe in herself.

What 'benefit' do you think breastfeeding mums would get, theoretically, if they were deliberately 'keeping them in the baby stage'? I mean why would anyone do that (accepting your premise that breastfeeding is by definition 'a baby stage')?

None at all other than a happy child.

I doubt most people were aware I was still BFing - I BF to 3.5 years but only twice a day from nine months and once a day from 18mo so it wasn't very visible. It was a very inconsequential part of our lives by then. I never had any negative comments about BFing but equally didn't make a big thing of it?

I know quite a few people who BF to age two, and some who very loudly BF for years longer than that. Suspect there were more that just got on with it without talking about it?

The only one I have doubts about is someone who BF to about age 6 or 7 but who forced the child to do it eg by refusing to buy them a drink in a cafe so the only way to get a drink was to BF and for whom the only means of reassuring/calming the child was BFing (kid had never been apart from mum).

It should stop whenever mother or child is ready to stop.

I needed to stop when dd was 3. It wasn’t an arbitrary age, I just reached a point where I wanted to be done.

My eldest self weaned when she was 14 months, I then found out I was pregnant, I think the milk must have changed. My youngest would have kept going forever but I was done by 22 months.
I respect those who keep going as long as they are clear with themselves on their motive. (I have met some mums who are determined to keep feeding even when it seems their child doesn't want to.)

My opinion is that mothers who breastfeed older toddlers/kids is that it’s more for their needs rather than the child’s. If you stopped tomorrow I wonder if your child would be bothered?

What do you gain from breastfeeding him? (Im genuinely interested, not being arsey!)

I'd like to say 7 in line with WHO guidance, but if I'm honest with myself I'd find it weird to see that.

I am currently assuming I'll stop when dc self-weans. I'm dreading it, I love breastfeeding. I suppose I'm expecting that to be before school age - not sure what I'll do if dc is still keen! Probably what some of my friends did (keep doing it in private and keep quiet about it).

@SleepingStandingUp you didn't ask me and I have no explanation, but my milk never dried up. Since my first birth, I've always had a supply - not as big as the first year but I could easily feed a baby right now.

I don't know why this is!

I understand why you keep asking why! It's because you're not getting solid answers. All the answers you're chasing up are like "well it's weird isn't it" and "but if a child can talk they shouldn't breastfeed" and "developmentally they're past that stage" - but there is no elaboration on or explanation of any of those statements. It's fair to ask why again when the answer isn't satisfactory!

Do you still have milk if you don't feed for weeks? Genuinely interested - he's not just having a suck?

In all honestly I'd raise an eyebrow at someone breastfeeding a four year old. I think it's because at birth you have total intimacy with your baby, then you step back and reclaim privacy bit by bit. I have a 3.5 yo who sees me naked etc but I'd find breastfeeding him too intimate. It's just a line that's drawn at some point. Maybe it's sad that it is!

My DD breastfed till she was six. Yep, years not months. She was very difficult to get off, and I literally had to wear roll necks tucked into my knickers. It has had no ill effects and she is a very smart, sweet child. After age three it was only at home when it was just the two of us. My DS was only breastfed for four months.

Academic Studies are led by white people and flawed as a result because white colonial attitudes to breasts destroyed bf across the globe. Ancient written texts from South Asia / East Asia / the Middle East show us a more accurate picture - that bf until milk teeth fell out was commonplace. In my ‘home village’ in India we even still have a ‘saasuji health manual’ (it’s a manual for married women whose mil was dead) from the 14th century that clearly stated bf until the first teeth come out will ensure children survive past their 5th birthdays.

“Breastfeeding is an early developmental stage, so i would find it odd it continuing past a certain point. Like at some stage it feels like a child holding onto to developmentally immature traits.”

This is a very western centric view.
Many cultures feed as standard until the child stops, many of those places also use breastfeeding as their main contraception.
I don’t agree that natural term breastfeeding can be holding onto developmentally immature traits because all children come to an age where they can no longer breastfeed - when that age is 5-7 years old that’s surely within that developmental age, even if western society disagrees.

Your business OP. As long as it’s right for you and your child don’t take a blind bit of notice about what anyone else thinks.
Plenty or people bf past 4 years- it’s just stigmatised so you don’t tend to hear about it so much

Everyone is different. Some people's milk dried up very quickly. Some not at all. All to do with prolactin levels.