To send DS to school with a stab pack?

[PolkaDotMankini]

DS is in year 8 (ages 12-13) at senior school. It's a great school but DS has been caught up in a couple of fights this half term and I'm doing the classic mum worrying. After the first one I bought a couple of Israeli bandages. They're the type used for serious bleeding.

WIBU to send him on a first aid course and pack one of these bandages in his bag, just in case? DS thinks I'm being way OTT.

How do so many posters have no idea of the reality of raising teenage boys in big cities? Even living in supposedly good areas, every family member I had living in London emigrated when their sons reached secondary. These are people living in houses worth millions and they didn't feel their sons were safe either at school or walking home after. It's especially scary if your sons aren't white, I suppose it's a version of white privileged not knowing 🤷‍♀️

The responses are interesting.

It seem as some people lived very charmed lives. Gang culture, shooting and stabbing exist all over the UK particularly in large cities.

School fight are nothing new! This has alway happened. It not unusual for neighbouring schools to fight each other, even in affluent.

Boy and young men fight - it's a fact of life. This quite normal but sometimes people take things too far.

I think it is sensible for your son to learn how to defend himself and learn how to navigate these situation. Perhaps get in contact with an organisation that supports teenagers and young men - they can provide advice and information on what to do.

I'm in the minority who think it's an OK idea and don't understand the mockery the OP is receiving.

I interpreted it to mean that DS might need to use first aid on someone else, not that he would necessarily use it on himself.

As for some of the comments:

There don't need to be lots of stabbings in your local area to make you concerned about knife crime. It might only happen once but you could be the bystander who could make a difference between life and death.

Collect him from school so that he's not at risk: so he has to be accompanied by an adult whenever he's outside the house, until he's at adult? Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

Move to a different school: it's not the school that's the problem, there's the possibility of knife crime in the area. And no, that doesn't mean the OP is necessarily living in a gang-infested high-crime corner of London. I live in a safe part of London and there have been very occasional street stabbings in the wider area over the past 10+ years. And one lad who was stabbed while visiting a different part of London.

It's unlikely to happen, so what's the point: the likelihood may be low, but the possible outcome is extreme (ie death). Weighing that up, it's worth making an effort because the value of your action in the, admittedly unlikely, situation might make the difference between someone dying on the pavement or surviving to live many more decades. Or maybe only surviving a few hours, but that's enough time to get to them hospital and having their loved ones joining them.

Stabbing scenarios or not, learning first aid is a good idea - for everyone, including the OP her/himself. I'd also recommend the CitizenAid app which gives advice for a range of emergency scenarios (eg multiple casualties in a major incident, terrorist attacks etc). Obviously read it occasionally first, don't wait until you're faced with an emergency. And, yes, you'll probably be too panicked to scroll through your mobile phone for advice, but it might just give you confidence to deal with the situation or a memory of what information to give to the emergency services.

www.citizenaid.org/

OP, I think the first aid class is a good call, as is a self-defence course. It won't make him into a kick-arse ninja, but it will teach him to look for the signs and how to disengage. The best way to 'win' a fight is not to get dragged into one.

Finally, if targeting is a problem, get him a rape alarm and tell him to keep it in his pocket. They are easy to activate, easy to carry and the attacker's pain from the unexpected noise should give him a few seconds to get away if he is threatened with a knife.

What have I just read? I thought by stab pack you meant stab vest (bad enough), but you mean packing your son off to school with bandages? I think if you are stabbed having a bandage is going to do very little as you'd be stabbed and very unlikely to do anything to help yourself.

If you think he might be the victim of a violent assault, it would probably be a better idea to remove him from the situation?

If I was so concerned that my child would be stabbed that I was considering this, I would take him out of school. Homeschool, move somewhere else, whatever. Either the risk is lower than you imagine and you're overreacting massively, or the risk is the level that you believe it is and you're underreacting massively.

I would move house.

I certainly wouldn't be sending my child that school (or the others if they're worse)

It's bullshit. You can always move schools and move house/jobs

People just don't want to do it because they like their nice lifestyles and would rather turn a blind eye to it all.

I would ask why people aren't thinking ahead about this?! I was immediately thinking about schools as soon as we were pregnant and moved house accordingly. We will probably move again in 2 years time in order to secure a shorter school run. My kids always come first. A house is just bricks. No job is worth your kid getting stabbed.

There is no way on earth I would send my child to a school where I thought there was a real risk of them being stabbed.

I know it's not easy to move area but I would be doing absolutely everything in my power to make that happen.

100% White privilege.

I am white and have recently had my eyes opened to a lot of the struggles of black men.
eg Stormzys recent interview with Louis Theroux, his knife scars were alien to his (white) work makes but he didn’t consider them unusual .. that’s insane no matter how you look at it :(

Dunno why people are giving the OP a hard time. We're in a similar position of choosing the least shit, still quite scary school. Schools round here are either shit or massively over subscribed so only rich people living in the tiny catchment area can get in. What is she supposed to do?

Op, your post has made me terribly sad!

It’s reminded me of a campaign I saw a while ago where a mum was campaigning for packs to be made readily available in the event that someone is stabbed in the street. Is this the same as a bleeding

i cannot imagine you having to worry about the actual threat of this. My heart goes out to you.

If you put it in his bag, who would use it? Heaven forbid but in the moment, how would do none know he’s got it?

perhaps he could use it to save someone.

If it’ll give you peace of mind and he’s not opposed to carry it, I’d say why not.

On the other hand, you don’t want to be ‘jinxing’ him!

Blame the Tories for destroying education (and healthcare) for over a decade, rather than individuals worried sick for their kids

Tell me you don’t live hand to mouth without telling me you live hand to mouth.

Moving means money. Even renting means deposit, rent, money (or time, resources, friends) to move your things, paying for new utilities etc. factoring in travel to work and school costs etc etc

I think your right @Angrymum22 having the presence of mind is very important. But that definitely starts with first aid training and keeping on top of it. I was sent on first aid courses from a young age and alway (until recently) kept up with them, my mum saved many lives with her first aid training, it’s second nature to her now due to her job. But I still remember the first time I witnessed it, a neighbour had fallen off a ladder and she had to perform cpr and stem his head bleed. I’ve not saved lives but saved someone’s eyesight and treat minor injuries many times. I would have probably been ok without my first aid training as I grew up in a very particle common sense environment and not the type of person who panics easily but having proper training and making sure I refreshed it regularly definitely helped me.

Not everyone will be able to think and act as quickly as someone who dose these things daily but I think role playing and talking to her son will definitely work in his favour if he ever dose encounter a bad situation.

Good luck, OP.
You sound like a caring, proactive mum.

I don't live in London but do work there. We could move to a different town but I'm reluctant to uproot the kids over something that could happen anywhere.

StreetDoctors looks excellent and is definitely something I'll suggest to the school. When I was at school we had someone come in to do a session on self-defence. I don't remember anything from it except his advice on what to do if someone pulls a knife: run away! Even if that's all anyone remembers, it's worth it.

Wow. Maybe some people can't afford to keep moving about? Maybe they can't afford to buy the nice house in a leafy suburb next to the good school? You know when you drive past the "rough" school which you'd never dream of sending your kids to... you know the parents of the kids who go there love their children just as much, they just don't have your privileges and choices.

I'd take my child out of school SO MUCH SOONER than teaching him battlefield first aid and giving him military dressings. This is just absurd to read.

Reading more of your posts OP, I really do feel for the position you are in. The first aid courses and bandages sound like a good idea. Please do keep talking to him about just staying out of the fights though

There's another thread going at present re stabbings and knife carrying at school and a poster on that sees concern at pupils knife carrying at school as 'Pearl clutching'!

Essentially this.

I can't decide whether you are being ridiculously OTT or far too blase (depending on actual risk of stabbing), but it's definitely one or the other.

*It's bullshit. You can always move schools and move house/jobs

People just don't want to do it because they like their nice lifestyles and would rather turn a blind eye to it all.*
You really need to widen your circle of acquaintances.

It's bullshit. You can always move schools and move house/jobs

With money, yes you can. Without it, much harder and in some places impossible

You know when you drive past the "rough" school which you'd never dream of sending your kids to... you know the parents of the kids who go there love their children just as much, they just don't have your privileges and choices.

Thank you! The 'just move' brigade on MN are so irritating.

OP self-defence class a great idea, stab bandage probably a bit OTT : ) but it also can't hurt right?