To send DS to school with a stab pack?

[PolkaDotMankini]

DS is in year 8 (ages 12-13) at senior school. It's a great school but DS has been caught up in a couple of fights this half term and I'm doing the classic mum worrying. After the first one I bought a couple of Israeli bandages. They're the type used for serious bleeding.

WIBU to send him on a first aid course and pack one of these bandages in his bag, just in case? DS thinks I'm being way OTT.

Jesus this is why I'd never raise kids in London, even the nice bits have so many issues, I hated the two years I spent living there (and one of those was in Ealing). Love where we live now and ds's wonderful secondary school where even a child with ASD can thrive.

Do you really think it's that easy ?

When 12 years old are getting stabbed for absolutely no reason, I think this is a very reasonable idea op. Even the 'nicest' areas with the 'best' schools have scumbags around

The OP hasn't said where she lives.

I live in London and have absolutely no fear of being stabbed

I don't either that's not to say I don't take precautions though. But I'm far more worried about my son being targeted. I live in a "nice" area but I'm not naive.

You need to get your house on the market and get the hell out of London!

There are various community groups which work with kids around knives and conflict de-escalation, often in collaboration with schools and police outreach. Is there one in your area, or could you invite one in?

Realistically, the concerns you have are best addressed at community level.

Otherwise, thinking it through - is your son supposed to get stabbed, get out his bandage, and apply it to himself? Or will you be training his friends too? You get my drift. Reach out to local schools, police, youth groups, see what is available or could be made possible.

I'm in Scotland. Here's one example, No Knives Better Lives from YouthLink/ScotGov.

If and I .want if, he was ringet stabbed I doubt he would think "oh I must get that bandage out and use it".

To be honest op most people panic in emergency situations. By all means a stab pack may be a life saver if he is on his own but it really depends on the injury site. I would be more inclined to coach him on rapid use of his phone and how to get immediate response.
I recently had to step in at a sports event at school when one of the players received a nasty head laceration. The coach and first aider froze and couldn’t work out what to do. It didn’t help that the first aid kit was woefully under stocked.
Being prepared is ok but actually having the presence of mind to act effectively is a whole different skill set. I have years of clinical practice with bleeding wounds so a gaping wound doesn’t throw me. But if I came across an unconscious stabbed teenager I wouldn’t be looking through his bag for a stab pack. I would use what was in sight and available. Probably a piece of clothing.

Aye right! Youth knife crime is a very recent problem that never happened in the good old days when parents, teachers and even complete strangers could give a troublesome teen a hearty beating to bring them into line.

If it's as bad as you say, I'd be looking at moving to another area if that is possible with your employment.

Also, your son needs to learn how to avoid fights. Helping a friend is very noble, but not always the best way to behave.

Your son's school needs to call in experts to give talks, including how to avoid fights, walk away, and also maybe first aid courses.

has your son got what3words on his phone, so his location can be identified by the emergency services if needed, and also ICE phone numbers (in case of emergency)?

The first aid course is a good idea, but the one I went on was basically focused on doing a lot of CPR and not a lot of anything else.

Street Doctors does in-school courses which teach teenagers violence-related first aid - things like "apply pressure" and "don't pull the knife out". A lot of it is taught by medical and nursing students. You could consider asking the school to run this streetdoctors.org/our-programmes/

I have encountered situations where direct pressure isn't enough or where it's very difficult to get the pressure right. An Israeli bandage is a fantastic bit of equipment that's easy to use and I hope no one has to use one but where does it stop? Do you give him packing gauze, face mask for CPR, etc? If stabbing are a big problem then go for it, they're not going to take up much room in his bag.

Do you mean you would home educate? We live in a ‘nice middle class area’. The high school is ofsted good and has a generally good reputation. I’m told their are kids carrying knives there. I don’t think moving schools will help, gang culture and carrying knives is more widespread and I hate that. As OP says she is at the best school in the area already, it’s not a school problem, it’s a community/society problem. My dc know first aid, but I think the bandage is a bit OTT. Basic first aid is always a good idea though.
I remember the winter before covid, it transpired there was a drugs problem on the town park in the evenings. There was uproar on social media about how such a lovely town could possibly have drug dealers in it. Quite a revelation to the middle aged towns folk that the problems they associate with city centres and ‘rough’ areas are actually also problems in leafy green towns.

No need. Just buy a giant roll of cotton wool, wrap him in it like a cocoon and pack DS away in his bedroom under the duvet.

He'll be perfectly safe there until you and DH die.

well there's a helpful suggestion!

It’s not just bad areas. We live in a “nice” area with a good school locally. 2 year 8’s got stabbed a couple of weeks ago by another 2 year 8’s. Thankfully both boys are ok. I’ve no idea who the kids are, they’ve all been permanently excluded. It’s so scary.

What an over reaction.

OP I understand what you are saying and think you have been given a hard time.

No easy answers for you. I guess the main one is can you pick him after school to avoid running the gauntlet of the walk home.

Between the bandage and the roleplaying, I'm worried that you'll be creating a lot of anxiety in your child.

I personally think it's a ridiculous idea - and I say that as someone who was threatened with a knife at school (he put it up to my face and threatened to 'rearrange my face with it').

In an emergency, he's unlikely to be in a fit state to either use it himself or explain to someone else that he even had it. What's far more likely is it'll fall out of his bag and he'll be mocked for it.

If you are that worried, you need to work out if it's a justifiable worry or not. If it is justifiable, then move him to a better school. If its not justifiable, then please get help for your anxiety before you pass it along to him.

It's not the school!! It's the area in which is situated but sadly I think it is wide spread.

The ignorance from some of the replies here is astounding.

I went to secondary school fifteen years ago. I lived in an affluent, leafy London suburb. I went to the nearest catholic school which was a short bus ride away but in a different area. It was rated Outstanding, had better academic credentials than local private schools and was highly oversubscribed every year.

Sounds ideal, right?

Yet every year there were students who got caught up in gangs which escalated to incidents with other students from nearby schools. There was often talks of fights after school and some years a child would get stabbed.

I don’t know what I’d do in your position OP, but you’re not wrong to be aware of the risk and put measures in place accordingly. Working with the school is a good idea.

He needs to walk away and not get involved at all. A teenage boy was stabbed to death near us a few years ago - he was trying to break up a fight that he wasn't previously involved in. He got killed for trying to do the right thing.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/doctors-to-teach-london-pupils-how-to-give-stabbing-victims-first-aid-a4232321.html%3famp

I've seen this mentioned much more recently in the news too but couldn't find a link. Kids are dying from wounds which are survivable, if somebody gets there fast enough.

You're not at all unreasonable OP. I feel safe - in daylight - in my London borough, but most of the day-time stabbings are against teens /young people. I'm very careful where my kid goes alone.