Is it cheeky to ask if you’re a homeowner?

[Shutthegatepeter]

I moved back to the village I grew up in just over 5 years ago. I lived here until I went to uni, moved away for 17 years, and now I’m back. This time I’m no longer living with my parents, I’m here with my husband and our 3 kids. We have a nice 4 bed home, it’s nothing really fancy or huge but we’re very lucky as it’s a lovely modest home in a nice area. I was out doing some gardening yesterday and bumped into someone who I went to high school with, sort of grew up with but we weren’t close or anything, but I’ve known him since we were in primary school together and we occasionally hung around with each other as teenagers. We started chatting, the usual long time no see, how are you etc. I told him I’m married now with 3 kids, he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents. I said I’m sorry to hear that and he then went on a 5min torrent of ranting about his ex! Which was awkward! He then said ‘’ this is a nice house, do you own it?’’

is it just me who thinks this is a weird question to ask someone? It’s like he was trying to suss out my financial situation. Maybe I’m just overthinking it but it seems like a really strange question to ask someone you don’t even know that well?

AIBU to think this is cheeky f*kery? 🤑

No but you don’t say you own it and no one hides owning.🤷🏻‍♀️

There is nothing wrong with being a renter but British obsession with homeownership is well known. I think your reaction sounds like you wanted to have the upper hand and to seem like you are doing better than him in life. You've not seen him for ages, maybe he was an arsehole to you at high school and you were feeling superior during that chat until he asked about your home which might be a soft spot for you because again, British obsession with homeownership maybe you have insecurity about being a renter?

Exactly this, homeowners wouldn't skirt around the question or be triggered by it.

People can be really strange.
I was selling something on marketplace and when she came in she had the cheek to ask if she could take pictures of my home and asked how much I paid for it.

I got asked by a school mum how much we paid for our house. Followed on from how long we had lived in said house. I was not offended, the info is very easily found on the Internet. Yes it's nosey but it's not a big deal. And although OP has not been explicit about if they own or rent I don't think the acquaintance really cared. He was probably just making passing conversation.

I mean he can look it up on Zoopla if he wants to know the price.

So many people have a massive stick up their arse about other people knowing anything to do with their finances.

What if they own more than one house, and have tenants in their other house, that they own? Would they hide that? 🤔

As everyone is so very invested, I own this home, and I still own my old house. My old home I rent out, and the rent is a lot more than the mortgage is! This class discrimination against people who rent is quite shocking, as a lot of us homeowners have been handed our homes through inheritance! My tenants earn more per month than I do!

If you haven't been around for 17 years, no doubt he'd be surprised to see you in a garden in his locality. I imagine he meant, do you live here now? Rather than wanting to know if you owned the house. You could have been helping out someone else in their garden.

I'd have forgotten this in the next breath.

I'd have forgotten this in the next breath.

Me too. Most people are not 100% perfect in everything they say, best not to over-analyse.

I think its just something people say to show interest and its unlikely the majority of people you meet who ask really give a shit whether you own it or not.

It's like when people ask how much a baby weighed or how your wedding plans are going.

Where did OP said that he asked how much she earns???

really? why?

Well a rant about his personal issues AND an overly personal question ... Red flag all over isn't he?! Lack of boundaries there.

I was talking to the next doors gardener, he looked my house up and down and said,

”How the hell have you managed to afford a house like this? Your business must clearly do very well”

i just replied, “How the hell do you afford your house” 🤣

I still sometimes wake in the middle of the night sweating with cringe about the time I visited a colleague's new house for the first time and, immediately on stepping through the door, blurted out 'Ohmygod this is GORGEOUS, how much did you pay for it?!'

In my defence, I was house-hunting at the time and it was at the height of my Rightmove / mortgage / house-price obsession, plus she'd given the impression that it was a much, much smaller and rather dismal place, but I could have turned myself inside out with embarrassment the second the words were out of my mouth. I was definitely being nosey, but not in a bad way, iyswim.

She did tell me though

I imagine if he's moving out of his family home and back to his parents' house house owing or renting is something that's on his mind and he was just making conversation.

He didn't ask how much you paid for the house just if you own it.

I can't see this as being rude or cheeky tbh.

we've just moved house - it’s a lovely little house in the centre of a desirable town and the first thing everyone has asked is if we bought it or not. To me, it takes away from the excitement that we feel (don’t expect anyone else to feel it at all), almost like it doesn’t count because we rent?

Update ladies, and the moral of the story is to always trust your gut. The person mentioned sent me a friend request on fb yesterday, and I accepted. I guess I was trying to be nice, but it went against my gut feeling about this guy. This afternoon he sent me a series of inappropriate messages and has now been blocked. Seems like he’s on the hunt for a new woman and a new place to stay over the winter, and his snare tactic is slithering around in married women’s inboxes.

Always trust your gut! 😉

Same. But OP doesn't seem to like this bloke. Might very well be justified given his diatribe about the ex. Who knows?

And when you don't like someone, their mere existence can be like nails down a chalkboard.

Yes it sounds like there may have been something in his manner that wasn’t right

It's a very nosy and odd question for a random to ask, as your housing status has absolutely no impact on their life, and in fact makes no difference to the price of fish.

I suggest you to visit Getnewapks

Seems like he’s on the hunt for a new woman and a new place to stay over the winter

Yes, I thought this might be the case

It's a normal enough question to ask, especially with someone you already know, but the giveaway was "he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents"

As we say on here, there's no man keener than the man who needs somewhere to live ...

Your gut was right OP. This happened to me once. Guy I'd been dating a few weeks, first time in my house. I rent a lovely house in a nice area in London from a HA. His eyes properly lit up as he asked me "do you own this?". Then he looked deflated when I said no! He was just renting a room which is why we didn't go to his. I swear I briefly saw £££ signs flash in his eyes! We both lost interest shortly after. Me because I could see what he was after and him because he wasn't going to get it!