Is it cheeky to ask if you’re a homeowner?

[Shutthegatepeter]

I moved back to the village I grew up in just over 5 years ago. I lived here until I went to uni, moved away for 17 years, and now I’m back. This time I’m no longer living with my parents, I’m here with my husband and our 3 kids. We have a nice 4 bed home, it’s nothing really fancy or huge but we’re very lucky as it’s a lovely modest home in a nice area. I was out doing some gardening yesterday and bumped into someone who I went to high school with, sort of grew up with but we weren’t close or anything, but I’ve known him since we were in primary school together and we occasionally hung around with each other as teenagers. We started chatting, the usual long time no see, how are you etc. I told him I’m married now with 3 kids, he told me he has 2 kids and is in the middle of a separation, he was moving back in with his parents. I said I’m sorry to hear that and he then went on a 5min torrent of ranting about his ex! Which was awkward! He then said ‘’ this is a nice house, do you own it?’’

is it just me who thinks this is a weird question to ask someone? It’s like he was trying to suss out my financial situation. Maybe I’m just overthinking it but it seems like a really strange question to ask someone you don’t even know that well?

AIBU to think this is cheeky f*kery? 🤑

It's nosy but not weird. It's a huge 'issue' at the moment with many people who may have always expected their whole lives to own like their parents suddenly realising it may not happen. The conversation around owning vs renting is everywhere you look. So I can see why someone would ask. It may have been an odd question 10 years ago.

Like with anything, I don't know why you care. You either tell the truth or say 'none of your business' and move on. We didn't need the monologue about your 4 bed village life.

I would’ve just smiled and said ‘ thank you very much , yes we own it ‘ .

The only time i've ever been asked that question is when i was renting.

I did find it rude and intrusive, especially as i knew that i was in the minority in that area and that a lot of locals were stuck up looked down on renters.

I'm not renting now and no one ever asks!

This is peak British ridiculousness 🤣

I would find it incredibly nosy and cheeky. Why would you ask somebody that? I don't know anyone who would ask that kind of question.

I might've asked "is it yours?" if someone was gardening outside a house, in the sense of "do you live here?" rather than are you gardening for someone else, either as a paid job, or as a favour to family / friends / someone who can't do their own gardening. But the answer to that should be "yes", whether it's owned or rented, so it should be less intrusive. Asking if you own it is either a very clunky attempt to ask if you live there, badly executed, or very nosy indeed.

I've had plenty of people ask me if I own my home, and I always find it intrusive. My ownership / mortgage status is nobody's business but mine!

I think this is fine in this context.

You grew up with him? So he isn't a total stranger. It's a bit like going to one of those high school reunions - people are curious how everyone got on , who moved to Australia, who's had three wives already, jobs, babies, etc.

Also it's a village! I like knowing who is who in my village, who's related to who, who lives where, etc. I think it's just an extension of this really. Maybe it's nosy, or seems nosy to city people anyway. But it doesn't come from a place of nastiness. Mostly I want to chat to people when I bump into them, and questions are part of that. I wouldn't mind if someone asked me if we owned our house, or when we bought it, or how on earth did we manage to afford it, or whatever. It's just chat.

He sounds in a weird place, don't overthink it.

It's nosey but I don't think he's trying to suss your finances out.

Badly worded but the same as 'is it yours' so no, not cheeky/rude.

I think the information he shared about his ex was more personal than whether you rent or own. Clearly he thinks you have an older/closer friendship than you do.

I used to get asked a lot if I own my house. There's a couple of houses down from me that are rentals and have a fairly regular (every 5 years or so) change up of tenants. In contrast the other houses are mostly owned by people who bought them new in the 60s, I moved into mine about 15 years ago when I was fairly young so I guess I was a bit of a point of interest for a few seconds.

So yeh, could be an odd nosey question or like my case, still nosey but not so odd when you looked at the circumstances.

It’s a bit rude. Why didn’t he just look the house up on zoopla when he got home like I do when chatting to friends about their homes like a normal nosey neighbour.

YABU. He’s just separated from someone so may have left ex-partner to live in house with his kids or has had to sell the property to share equity with ex-partner or has had to leave a rental.

Naturally housing is going to be uppermost in his mind and he asked you about your house.

You seem a bit smug that you have a nice 4 bed house whereas he is moving back in with his parents.

And stop misusing the term Cheeky Fucker. A cheeky fucker would have asked to move in to your house whilst he gets on his feet.

Sounds like casual chat, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone ask that question. I can see what you mean by it sounds like he's trying to figure your financial status.

No, I've often been asked if I'm renting or own the place. Doesn't trouble me at all to be asked.

😂 😂

Cheeky.

I think it's a totally normal question to ask. People ask me all the time. It's totally relevant. If you're talking about issues with your home the suggestions will vary depending on whether you own your home or not.

I don’t think there is any shame in renting, would you have been the same if you owned?

It is a bit odd to ask that, however I think it was more sheer noseyness than anything else. He was being nosey to find out how well you have done for yourself.

What has the op said that makes her sound smug?
I rent and I am very reactive to homeowners making smug comments, and I didn't see anything in this post which sounded smug. She stated that she owned a 4 bed house as a fact as it was relevant to the post?

I don't think there is any shame in renting, what makes you think it's shameful? I haven't said that I'm renting 😉

No, given that you were talking about where you were in your lives, a rant about his ex notwithstanding.