So my husband and I have a joint bank account where both of our wages go into the same account each month. We essentially earn the same (I do earn slightly more but my pension outtake is so high we take home about the same).
Today, my sister text me and asked me to borrow some money (£50) and I agreed. My husband is now fuming that I didn't check in with him about it and that I lent her money in the first place. He's super anti (and always has been) lending money and we've had a row about it as it's "our money". He's not wrong and we always check in before big purchases but this wasn't that to me.
I feel that I don't need his permission to spend my money. Of course it's our money but I should be able to do this without having to ask first. I also think that she is paying us back on Friday, so two days time. We will not miss that £50 in the next two days. I tried to explain to him that IF we were struggling or needed that money he would have a right to be annoyed but as long as she pays it back when it's due - what's the problem?
He feels that my sister has got herself in a financial mess and she's not our responsibility. She owes my other sister quite a substantial amount which she's paying back monthly. I told him that agreement is between the two of them and nothing to do with us. My sister is 45 and we're both 27 so he also feels like shes built this kind of life for herself and shouldn't even be asking us. I've always had the impression he doesn't particularly like her.
She's a single mum that wanted to go for dinner and drinks with her friends tonight - she doesn't go out much and I didn't want her to miss out. He doesn't know why I lent the money as he didn't ask but I know if I tell him he'll just be angrier as it wasn't even essential.
I hate that he's kicked off and stomped around like a toddler and I don't feel like I can back down as I genuinely didn't mind lending the money. We've had quite a heated argument about it so I'm feeling rubbish now.
But AIBU?