Argument with husband tonight

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So my husband and I have a joint bank account where both of our wages go into the same account each month. We essentially earn the same (I do earn slightly more but my pension outtake is so high we take home about the same).

Today, my sister text me and asked me to borrow some money (£50) and I agreed. My husband is now fuming that I didn't check in with him about it and that I lent her money in the first place. He's super anti (and always has been) lending money and we've had a row about it as it's "our money". He's not wrong and we always check in before big purchases but this wasn't that to me.

I feel that I don't need his permission to spend my money. Of course it's our money but I should be able to do this without having to ask first. I also think that she is paying us back on Friday, so two days time. We will not miss that £50 in the next two days. I tried to explain to him that IF we were struggling or needed that money he would have a right to be annoyed but as long as she pays it back when it's due - what's the problem?

He feels that my sister has got herself in a financial mess and she's not our responsibility. She owes my other sister quite a substantial amount which she's paying back monthly. I told him that agreement is between the two of them and nothing to do with us. My sister is 45 and we're both 27 so he also feels like shes built this kind of life for herself and shouldn't even be asking us. I've always had the impression he doesn't particularly like her.

She's a single mum that wanted to go for dinner and drinks with her friends tonight - she doesn't go out much and I didn't want her to miss out. He doesn't know why I lent the money as he didn't ask but I know if I tell him he'll just be angrier as it wasn't even essential.

I hate that he's kicked off and stomped around like a toddler and I don't feel like I can back down as I genuinely didn't mind lending the money. We've had quite a heated argument about it so I'm feeling rubbish now.

But AIBU?

And if the amount borrowed was for a roof repair?

I have an older sister who always asked for money and either never paid it back or did but asked to borrow again. Going into the hundreds at one point. She would waste her money but was also a single parent so I'd feel sorry for her. Always had separate accounts with husband. We then had a baby and husband said that it needed to stop. I shouldn't be financially supporting her when I had a small family of my own. I agreed and stopped lending. We now have a joint account and if someone asked me to borrow money then I would consult him first. As I'd expect him to do of it was the other way round.

Your comment makes no sense. It was borrowed to go out drinking.

The amount borrowed from the other sister - we don’t know what that was for , only that it wasn’t paid back. THAT is the amount we were referring to.

Surely £50 is neither here nor there? If it was £500 it might have been a different matter, but it doesn't sound as though you're short of cash. Certainly nothing to have a big argument over.

But that was prior borrowing. She doesnt have a spare £50 to go out drinking. Borrowing it means she owes it. That means she wont pay the other sister back that £50 for the substantial amount she borrowed there. It is irresponsible to decide to go out drinking when owing a substantial amount of money.

This.

Doesn't matter what the other money was for. The priority should be paying it back and building up some savings to mitigate against further emergencies.

lot of posters on here saying £50 is not much - it's a lot when you have no money and are in debt. I'm thankfully not in that position but I still wouldn't be spending £50 on dinner and drinks out with friends. There are cheaper ways to socialise.

Exactly! I can't phone Halifax and say the minimum payment for my credit card will be £50 short as I fancied a night out. They don't care whether I used the card to buy a Chanel bag or children's shoes.

YABVU.
I'd be furious if someone lent some of my money to someone who already had a big debt, just so they could go out on the piss.

As usual on MN, if you'd posted to say you were annoyed that your husband had lent his feckless brother £50 from the joint account, everyone would support you.

YABU to the comment above that it's "50% your money". It's not, it's family money for the family's upkeep. 50% is just the OP's contribution.

Is this a reverse?

I think you've been disloyal to your mum actually. your sister isn't taking her debt seriously.