Kids still feeling the effects of lockdowns…

[sloanedanger]

I just got caught reading a really interesting thread on Twitter started by a teacher:

“Is anyone else thinking we are starting to see the impact of 2 years of disruption and time at home, due to COVID 19, in schools? Extreme behaviours? Some pupils very emotional and struggling to regulate? Low attendance compared to normal? Winter bugs hitting hard?”

A lot of the comments say Y3 is the worst, others saying Years 7 and 8.

My DS is in Year 2 and often struggles with emotions and self regulation at school. It’s made me think, perhaps there’s a reason why linked to the pandemic. Lockdown was hard, DP and I were home with very young DC, trying to work, poor mental health, emotions high. Very little patience.

I worried about my DS massively at the time as I didn’t believe the “kids are resilient” thing either. I just can’t believe how much I’ve forgotten about the potential impact now that everything’s “normal”. And that Twitter thread has made me think, it could well be the reason for my DS’ behaviour.

I also feel a bit guilty as now, I am reaping the benefits as someone who can still WFH flexibly and enjoy it. My career definitely stalled and those without DC have streaked ahead as they could put all their energy into work when I was just surviving, but I can’t pretend the new WFH patterns aren’t great for me personally.

As a Cub leader we really noticed how different the kids were who hadn't had Beavers before Cubs... we took them camping in the Summer for example, only one had been on a Beaver camp, so having to teach the whole lot how to group camp, homesickness etc.

Another effect... DD still has trouble seeing the future as certain. Just that underlying worry that everything will change again.

It completely destroyed my kids well-being and changed them all and not for the better

Mine were 5,10 and 13.

People who demanded lockdowns and school closures - I will never ever forgive you

Do people now have more understanding of those who were a little loose with Covid rules at the time? I don't mean wild parties, but still seeing one or two people at a time, inside, when it wasn't allowed? I have no regrets about trying to keep my v young son's life as normal as possible and he doesn't seem to have been affected.

Word for word could say the same about my year 1s.

DS is in Y7 and teacher said they have noticed more kids are sticking more closely to people they knew before/just one friend, and they've noticed this more since COVID. They are organising lunch time 'interest' clubs for things like gaming to try to get more kids to mix - son is going to one of these, as he is one of the kids sticking close to one friend.

Half a dozen or so friends having problems with school refusal with young teens now, and two friends with kids with serious eating disorders (as in requiring hospitalisation) that have developed since 2020. 😥

My dd has just turned 15 and seems to have been really affected. She enjoyed her time at home as she is naturally a shy anxious person but it has been made worse by the fact schools closed so she didn't have to force herself to mix with others. Now that everything is back to normal she has really closed herself off and is even more anxious and won't talk to people at school. She doesn't want to sit with anyone at break and lunch, she doesn't socialise with anyone outside of school either.

Ds2 seems to have been unaffected.

My Year three has struggled so much. Never caught up with where he was academically
before lock downs and very emotionally unregulated and clingy. He wasn’t before and was doing well in nursery and the first term of reception. My one in reception now has speech delay.

Yr3 parent here.

DS's class are horrendous. Worst class in the school by far.

A third of the class SEN. One who is massively disruptive and if he makes it to yr6 I will be amazed. Teacher is struggling. They only have 1 TA but 2 kids who need one to ones and thats without considering the others who need support.

Yr2 was bad but Yr3 they've gone boom.

Teacher friend and TA friend say lots of kids in different years are going boom this year.

We are heavily involved with Scouting and all sections are feral but Beavers are something else.

We are despairing over it. DS has struggled a bit this year, but much of this has been due to the behaviour of the other kids and the school ignoring him fir a year and then suddenly going 'oh yeah we might have missed that'. (No shit. We told you that). He's pretty resilient though and has faired better than the majority of his class! (Which kinda speaks volumes in its own right)

Teachers seem to be completely on their knees with it. Behaviour which they've never seen the like of before. Ta friend is regularly getting hurt by kids at school.

Absolute car crash

Such a minor thing in the grand scheme of everything I know, but DD1 is now in year 3. She wasn't allowed to do a nativity in reception or year 1 due to covid restrictions at the time. They agreed to a school Christmas play in year 2 and ironically she caught covid a couple of days before and obviously missed it.

I've been told today that the school have decided only kids in key stage 1 are doing Christmas plays / nativities now, which means now she is in year 3 she's missed her chance to ever be in a primary school nativity play.

Silly I know but knowing I'll never now see her in a school nativity play or have any cute videos / photos of her in a school Christmas play to treasure in the future breaks my heart a little.

Fucking covid.

I've got a daughter in yr3 and a son in yr1. Lockdown years absolutely effected my daughter. We had parents evening tonight and although she's doing great, we need to do some work on basic maths, number bonds etc, that she isn't quick at. She was 'home schooled' due to covid at the time. I can really see this difference compared to my son in yr1. His basic maths is better than my elder daughters. Emotionally we had a very tough time at home but I feel she's maturing like a fine wine now that she's in school.

I'm a teacher and I agree that anxiety and attendance issues are a lot more common than they used to be.

But I think there was a trend in this direction even before the pandemic.

@roarfeckingroarr yes, I found it very difficult as the majority of my family and friends stuck to the rules stringently. This meant not seeing my parents for 12 weeks despite the fact that they’re 30 minutes drive away. They didn’t hug my kids for over a year, my DM even pushed DS away when he tried to hug her once. It really frustrated me at the time, I understood that they were scared but we were all WFH and not doing anything otherwise, and none of us caught covid until 2022 which I think proves the point (my DParents still haven’t had it!).

@interstatelovesong i feel a bit like that. I was so, so against the second round of school closures, it caused a bit of a rift with friends and family who were capitalising (that’s how my bitter head perceived it at the time!) on having one key worker at home and therefore sending children to key workers hubs. It really created an “us” and “them” divide.

Sorry to hear this

Absolutely. Luckily my own kids seem to have been ok, but through work we're seeing huge amounts of young children with anxiety and similar mental health issues, speech and language issues in younger children, inconsistent gaps in learning and socialisation issues. It's my belief that children's wellbeing was sacrificed a bit during the lockdowns.

I have children in years 7, 9 and 11 and they’ve all struggled in various ways.
DD in year 11 had an awful time, coupled with health issues and having major spinal surgery during lockdown 3 she’s struggled the most and is only now starting to recover, but it’s been a very long and hard road.

DS2 in year 9 missed most of year 6&7 and subsequently didn’t get that proper transition to high school. He finds it hard to organise himself and homework is a nightmare.

DS1 in year 7 is quite immature and is moody and his behaviour can be a challenge.

Lockdowns hugely damaged children’s mental health. Even at the time many argued against them for that reason. Someone in the house of lords I think went on tv saying we were sacrificing the young to save the old.

That said, my DD had huge problems in yr 1 with anxiety, school refusal and emotional regulation at school and that was before the pandemic.

@sloanedanger that's so tough. I think a lot of people were so scared but it morphed into something controlling where people policed their neighbours and accused anyone who didn't stick to the rules of killing grannies. An awful time. I hope your family heals ❤️

My Year 7 child is in top set for maths and they’re currently revising the 8 times table?! I assume the year 6 SATS have shown up massive gaps in their learning.

To the posters who used to love mothering -

I hear you.

First kid pre-lockdown - almost euphoric joy, and I was a good Mum, I worked really hard. I had never been maternal and the fact I could do this thing, and I was good at it, gave me so much confidence and I was actually proud of myself. It felt like 'ah! So this is what I'm good at'.

Second kid during lockdown, husband who worked - managing pregnancy and toddler then newborn and toddler whilst WFH was - I don't have a word for it. I don't know if I had PND or whether it was a rational response to the situation. We live rurally and quite isolated, I did every 'activity' I could within the same four walls and the same local area and I think the hopeless, relentless, loneliness and pressure of it gave me some kind of mothering burnout. That 2020 to 2021 winter was something I don't even want to think about, and that was my youngest's newborn months and that makes me sad.

I now work part time and on my days at home with kids I wake up in the morning with an underlying horror at having to do it again. I'm not even depressed or low anymore, I just have a massive resistance to spending another day at home with the kids because I feel like I just can't do it again. I think it just reminds me of that time. My poor kids.

At my school, our Y2 class (missed some of pre-school and Reception) and our Reception (missed a lot of social and oracy skills by being at home through Covid) are the worst we've ever had in terms of being ready to learn.

This really impacted my daughter who was getting ready to leave primary school.

I didn't realise how much until I found her will, instructing us how to share her savings if she passed 😭.

She's now in counselling getting help with her anxiety, which came out in full force last year 🙏🏾.

Oh yeah and I couldn't home school my kids as dh and I worked out side of the home for the whole time. We couldn't have gave a shit about catching covid - only about keeping a roof over our heads.

My mum and MIL (illegally 😆) looked after them while we worked but I didn't want to ask them to make them study. And anyway, I gave up trying to make them do school work once I realised how distressed they were becoming. so they did pretty much no learning whatsoever for almost a year 🤷‍♀️.

I begged for school places because they were suffering so much mentally, but none of Their schools gave a fuck because I wasn't a "key worker" . Never mind that we had no choice but to work so our work was pretty dam "key" to paying the mortgage and feeding them. So that gave me the rage how my work was considered so unimportant

Not to mention how I got publicly threatened on a fb page. someone said they were going to "smash my face in" for "needlessly" working and "spreading covid"

Typing this out i have realised I am genuinely still traumatised and angry

Y4 child struggles to self regulate. Stills asks for covid tests despite us not having done them for many months. Worries in crowds, struggles with loud noises. No SEN.

As a side note, eldest is in the massively disruptive class to the other poster. He’s been miserable for 18 months as he wants to learn and I wish I’d moved him to a different school.