Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

Triostomy 18 (Edwards syndrome) canyoutoleratethis - around half of newborns with Edwards die in the first month after birth.

When I was 36 I had a 2 year old grandchild, so no, not young!

Op have another baby if you want to, you are a year over ‘prime’ age so what. Plenty of women don’t have any children until they hit 40 these days.

seem to be lots of judgemental people on threads like this.
I can’t see why if you are healthy why you wouldn’t if that’s what you’d like to do.

Yes, where I am from, in London, 36 is a perfectly normal age to have a third child.
I had my third at 41 and it raised a couple of eyebrows, fourth was at 44 - jaws dropped - but I wasn’t alone at the reception class school gates heading toward 50 - there were 4 of us in reception between 47-50.
56 now, he’s 12, it’s fine. 😁

I was the youngest in my NCT group in London... I was 35. Everyone else was late 30s or early 40s expecting first babies.

Can I just ask those who glibly say 'oooohhh I'd never have a baby past 30, just my choice' what they would have done if circumstances meant that they couldn't have a baby until past 30? Not trying to be goady I'm genuinely curious.

I was desperate for a baby from the age of about 23 and none of my boyfriends were in the slightest bit interested in having children. I actually had to cancel my wedding to the man I was living with aged 24 because I wanted to start a family straight away after getting married and he didn't and buggered off with someone else. Just what are you meant to do? And the whole world just keeps telling you that you're too young to have babies, and with the exception of my mother who was too old, every single one of those friends had a baby before me 😟

I had my first at 37, second at 38. Was never called a geriatric mother, ever. Both times got pregnant after a month of trying, both natural births with v little interventions.

Spent my youth travelling and having fun whilst I had the stamina. Spending my 40s knackered and all over the place but I wouldn’t have changed my decision for the world.

Stick that in your declining fertility pipe and smoke it 😎

Well you are most definitely not the normal age for a grandmother!

who really cares what age another woman that’s nothing to do with you has a baby anyway?

No it is not young. It's certainly not too old but over 36 a pregnant woman is considered to be an 'older' mother; I'm surprised the term 'geriatric' is still used in this context. More care and more tests are advised but most people are perfectly OK. Look at the Duchesses of Cambridge and Sussex who both gave birth to perfect babies at that stage, the latter had two as an 'older mother'.

I must say I am surprised you want to go through all that again when you have two already of manageable age. That is of course your business. I hope your husband is on board.

YABU! I started ttc at 37 and I was too old! My eggs are no good - 12 miscarriages and 4 poor rounds of IVF attest to that.

First time Mum at 35 here and pregnant again so will give birth at 36, almost 37.

It’s not young but certainly not too old if that’s the choice you make! Most of my friends with children have had them in their mid 30s, some only starting to think about it now.

Really? The Princess of Wales was 36 when she had Louis. Meghan was 37 and 39 when she had her babies. I was 39 when I had my baby (relatively easy pregnancy and very easy birth).

I remember reading that in natural fertility societies, the average age of the mother at the time of her last child is around 41.

36 might be on the older side to start a family, but it's nothing for a third child.

It's not young at all, but it is more socially acceptable. You are a geriatric pregnancy at that age, and ideally should be having children in your 'prime' during your 20's, but that not what happens for most of us.but I also don't think it does us as women any favours trying to deny that just because we are choosing to, or having to, have children later in life, that you aren't doing it with a body more prone to issue due to age.

00kitty it's not judgemental! I had my 3rd at nearly 36 too. It's not judgemental to acknowledge the fact of statistically increased risk of genetic anomalies and take those into consideration. For me it was important to be clear and discuss what screening we did and didn't want and what decisions we might make. Obviously those are important conversations anyway but sticking your head in the sand about increased risk doesn't make you less judgemental that someone who is honest with themselves. I find this especially important for a third child as siblings are seriously impacted by having a very ill sibling who may not survive, or by having a profoundly disabled sibling.

Average uk age for a first child in the uk is 31. So I would say if you have 3 then 36 is a very expected age for your third. However three children is not average. I think it’s now 1.7.

Definitely not young no, I’d say age 36 is the very upper end of normal/verging on older mum.

I’d personally categorise it;

young: less than 25
normal: 25-35
older: 35+

If you are asking…Is 36 TOO old to have a 3rd baby?….no but you won’t feel as young as you did with your previous 2 and I personally wouldn’t leave it much longer 😊

My mum had ‘elderly primip’ written on her maternity notes in the 60s when she was pregnant with my brother. She was 28!

I was 31 (nearly 32) when I had my first, and would say 36 was not old.to be having a 2nd / 3rd baby but is on the older side for a first child

Relative to what though. Amongst my peer group it's pretty young. Many of my lot have only just started/not yet trying and we're mid thirties. But there are communities where people start at age 21/22.

Don't let it put you off! I'm 35 and pregnant with my first so will probably be 37 when trying for my second. Most of the mums in my NCT group are between 33-40. Biologically older yes but where I live it seems to be a normal so I don't feel like an older mum and never been made to feel like it, or even had it mentioned, by a midwife.

Fertility drops off a cliff at 35, so no I wouldn't call this young. It's getting on a bit. We hear lots about women having babies later but it's not the unassisted biological norm.

36 is a normal age to have a third baby.
Biologically speaking, you are past you prime for pregnancy, it's crap but there it is, although of course the odds are still overwhelming in your favour of having a successful pregnancy.
Good luck

Young no.
Normal yes.

I think it’s getting on tbh! Forget what society thinks etc, biologically - it’s old. Fertility goes into steep decline after 35. I’ve had 4 dc and am now 36 - recent tests would suggest I’m too old to reliably go again. I think you need to try and at least plan to have all your dc before 35.

I was classed as a geriatric mother when I had DC1. I was 29 at the time. This was 2001. I'd say 36 was fine.