Social media attention seekers

[circumnavigater]

I know this is probably contentious, but does anyone else get fed up of friends that frequently feel the need to update/show off on social media?

I'm at an age where most Facebook friends don't really bother with it all-maybe an occasional post every so often, that's absolutely fine, I like seeing the updates. But there's a few people I know who literally post weekly, if not more. Child's birthday (fine), amazing family holiday and how lucky they are, child's first haircut, baby started weaning, baby's new shoes, child had covid, house move, anniversary, mothers day, Father's Day, trip to the park, Ukraine war, end of maternity leave, Halloween pics, meal at the pub, family BBQ.... you name it, it's posted. I mean, surely to post so often, it's just blatant attention seeking? What is the psychology behind this? Are they really that insecure they require validation from others on a weekly basis? In their 30s? I have a child and I'm immensely proud but don't feel the need to post so frequently.

This is just a rant really, I need to get it off my chest, please don't tear me to shreds!!! Yes I know I can mute and I do!!!

OP, if you're interested in why people need validating like this then this will interest you:

www.healthshots.com/mind/mental-health/need-for-validation-and-its-effects-on-mental-health/

I also agree with pp though, this is exactly what Facebook is designed for, so I'm more interested in the psychology of the people who get wound up by other people using something (Facebook) for what it's designed for, when no-one is forcing them to look. That's more bizarre imo!

Oh how I hate those.
Then the OP never says what was wrong or they say DM me.

I hate the gruesome ones of wounds, stitches, etc.

I agree OP - no issue with the odd post here and there, although personally I have stopped posting myself, the whole idea of living so publicly is just so bizarre, when you think about.

My best friend’s sister though, lives on FB. If it’s not on FB, it didn’t happen.

She ostensibly lives a great life, but has to stop every few minutes to take photos and post on FB. Stop living on FB, and enjoy the actual experience and the people you’re with, like a normal person! She’s 51, FFS.

I say ‘ostensibly’ because she and her husband can’t seem to stand each other in real life, and spend a disproportionate amount of time shouting at each other.

Of course, that never gets posted on FB…

I think it’s just like a diary or blog and is a nice way to record snapshots of your life. However, there is a difference between putting on the odd nice thing that has happened every now and then or a more realistic selection of things, and outright airbrushing your life. I have a couple of colleague who is terrible for making her life look idyllic when we all know (through seeing it play out at work every day) that she and her partner have a terrible, toxic relationship and her kids have behaviour issues. To see her FB you’d think they were the Waltons. Then there’s the ones who check in at A&E and post multiple pictures of their arm attached to a drip but don’t ever answer anyone who asks “oh no, what happened?” The there’s the ones who can’t experience a second of life without a camera. If it’s someone’s birthday, there is a photo of that person holding every single present they have unwrapped with a fake smile. It’s interesting and reveals a lot about a person’s psychology. But standard shoving a few pics on or funny things that have happened or whatever I think is just documenting life. It doesn’t always tip over into narcissism.

I genuinely like seeing how my friends are and what they are up to ! Am so busy these day I don’t have the time to call and have proper catch ups so FB next best thing .
Once children leave school and you are working ,people don’t have the normal daily contacts and company .
Scroll on or unfriend if they bore you .

Do you know what’s more tedious about people oversharing/ frequently posting on SM? It’s people bitching about people oversharing/ frequently posting on SM. Being interested in the ‘Phycology’ is just an attempt to intellectualise jealousy. Unfollow accounts you don’t like, it’s not difficult.

Not sure what you mean here. Which "social media"? Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? One of dozens more? Also, mumsnet is "social media", soyou I guess you haven't quite deleted all.

Mumsnet is an anonymous discussion forum - it hardly falls into the same bracket as SM that broadcasts the real you to followers for ‘likes’.

Just because something is on the internet, doesn’t mean it is ‘social media’.

If it’s tone deaf to post about your holidays why is it not tone deaf to post about your kids or your partner? Some people have no partner or children.

I meant Facebook, there we go

Don't know why people are getting so pissy with me for saying I've deleted social media 😆 with all the passive agressive ...... and ???

Mumsnet may be technically classed as social media but I don't think you can compare it to the likes of Facebook and Instagram etc and I don't think most people would list mumsnet if you asked them to name social media websites

have only skim-read OPs posts. So at the risk of everyone having said this 94 times:

It doesn't matter. Block, unfriend, mute, snooze, scroll by. Whatever. They don't know and why do you care? People are free to use their SM however they like (within that platform's regulations). You are free not to follow them.

Maybe you have nothing to post, it's as simple as that.
I don't have Face book, can't be bothered with all of that.

My issue with FB is that people I genuinely like IRL annoy the crap out of me on FB!

I mute loads of people so that when I do bump into them and have a nice chat, I’m not influenced by their annoying social media.

THIS. Plus people are literally killing themselves trying to get the perfect photo.

One woman I know does this. Updates several times daily, at times.

I don't know how she's enjoying some these things when she's constantly live blogging during. I think she craves the validation, comments and likes, and became addicted to it a long time ago. Completely lacking in any self awareness.

I unfollowed long ago, as did others.

I don't know anyone who still posts pics and updates on Facebook - I thought most people used it as a birthday calendar, for local/hobby groups or for marketplace. Only people I know who post on socials do so on Instagram, Snapchat or Tiktok. But agree that when people did used to post regularly on FB it was quantity over quality which was annoying - a bit like Tiktok now.

Good point that I unfollowed my person a couple of years ago so don't know if she's still posting!

I just checked and she's posted four times over the last 24 hours! Most of it is mundane.

Baking, drinks, photo with child out somewhere, and something else. Still addicted then. It's the comments and likes, and over 1000 friends.

how many of those 1000 friends have muted her 😉😆😆

Literally the whole point of social media is to document their lives on their own page. If you don't like it then remove them? It's as simple as that.

I post daily about my son on tiktok and have met many other mothers going through the same thing (or similar) as me; I've built connections with people from all over the world and it's made me feel less alone.

Some may call it attention seeking but it's my page and if someone had a problem with it I'd suggest them not to follow me in the first place. That's what you should do 🤷🏼‍♀️

I really like seeing what my friends are up to. I don't have time to see them much and it's a good way to stay in touch. I wish my friends would use it more!

I used to have Facebook friend who'd post everything. I was waiting for him to post that he'd gone for a shit...

I'm on there but nowhere near as much as before and don't post that often. Usually on twitter now.

Literally the whole point of social media is to document their lives on their own page.

It's not the whole point as we're not all doing that. Far from it.

It’s really, really the ‘whole point’ only for you, and other like you, who document your entire lives on your page.

It’s not even remotely the point for other users of social media.

I meant to say literally their whole point of social media is to document their lives.

If that's not your view of your own social media that's fine, don't do it.

But if it annoys you so much, the people that do document their lives, then why not remove them?

Personally, when my one year old had to have his leg amputated, connecting with other mom's via tiktok literally saved my mental health.

Maybe it makes them happy, maybe it's their way of getting some interaction etc