Social media attention seekers

[circumnavigater]

I know this is probably contentious, but does anyone else get fed up of friends that frequently feel the need to update/show off on social media?

I'm at an age where most Facebook friends don't really bother with it all-maybe an occasional post every so often, that's absolutely fine, I like seeing the updates. But there's a few people I know who literally post weekly, if not more. Child's birthday (fine), amazing family holiday and how lucky they are, child's first haircut, baby started weaning, baby's new shoes, child had covid, house move, anniversary, mothers day, Father's Day, trip to the park, Ukraine war, end of maternity leave, Halloween pics, meal at the pub, family BBQ.... you name it, it's posted. I mean, surely to post so often, it's just blatant attention seeking? What is the psychology behind this? Are they really that insecure they require validation from others on a weekly basis? In their 30s? I have a child and I'm immensely proud but don't feel the need to post so frequently.

This is just a rant really, I need to get it off my chest, please don't tear me to shreds!!! Yes I know I can mute and I do!!!

But if someone does then what is wrong with it?

How is it attention seeking? It’s posting to a closed community of friends. I tend to assume my friends are, in fact, interested in my life. As I am in theirs.

U ok bbe? DM me.

I don't mind seeing the family posts and stuff because I don't think that's showing off or wanting to get attention.

The ones that really piss me off are people that go to the gym and constantly post pics of them in loads of different positions to show how toned they are. We get it. You look great. There is a girl on mine who palms her baby off to her MIL 5 days a week and just goes to the gym. All she puts up are pics of her doing handstands, weights etc and uses #mumbod at the end of her posts and says how people make excuses not to get back in shape after having a baby...try looking after your baby and then we'll see your Mum bod!

Sorry, I've had a bad day at work! Rant over.

Another example would be that regular MN thread, “None of the in-laws bothered to send a card for DC’s first birthday, AIBU to be so upset?” At least half the responses, if not the vast majority, will say the OP is not unreasonable and that the in-laws are thoughtless. But on the basis that a baby has no idea what’s going on, why bother sending it a card? Because the card is emblematic of wider social relationships and dynamics between the adults - just as is “Happy Birthday baby Oliver!” on Facebook even though everyone knows Oliver doesn’t give a shit and won’t read it.

YANBU - the only thing is we all know that anyone who shows off on social media is really insecure and probably a bit unhappy so I just feel a bit sorry for them. To think even the research shows this 🤷‍♀️

Is this sarcasm?
based on my circle it’s nonsense, so I assume it is.

Depends how you see it, though. For my kids' first birthday parties I just had family to the house. I figured they were only a baby, didn't know what the hell it was for, nd might want a sleep during it anyway, so just keep it low key, they wouldn't know what the hell was going on. But now, people are hiring out venues, big balloon arches, entertainers. Same with christenings. Then plastering the photos all over facebook. So I think it depends on how you approach/view things.

I think the real question is, why do you begrudge other people (your friends no less) recieving positive attention?

Direct your energy into making your own life better, not looking sideways at others.

Another example would be that regular MN thread, “None of the in-laws bothered to send a card for DC’s first birthday, AIBU to be so upset?” At least half the responses, if not the vast majority, will say the OP is not unreasonable and that the in-laws are thoughtless. But on the basis that a baby has no idea what’s going on, why bother sending it a card? Because the card is emblematic of wider social relationships and dynamics between the adults - just as is “Happy Birthday baby Oliver!” on Facebook even though everyone knows Oliver doesn’t give a shit and won’t read it.

I disagree, generally it's because the OP wants to feel their dc matter to the inlaws. Often there is a backstory or issues & it's about wider feelings.

But we will have to agree to disagree.

@SavingKitten I didn't say there was anything wrong with it? I just don't understand the conflating it with love thing.

I actually don't mind seeing people's holiday photos, though, as long as it's not too many and as long as it shows me some sightseeing stuff, as that gives me ideas for my own travels. I've been to a couple of places based on seeing photos on FB and thinking how great it looks.

Hotdog leg photos from a sunbed and 2 drinks on a table on a beach are just as boring as fuck. Don't add anything at all, and I do find them to be a brag. "oh what a terrible life I have, having more drinks at a beach bar" etc. If you SHOW me photos of the beach bar, how nice or interesting it looks then fair enough. But just glasses of sangria on a table as if it's some magazine editorial. nah. do'nt bother.

Cryptic posts, along the lines of "omg I'm so shocked" or "cant believe what I just heard!!"
Which produces a barrage of "u OK hun?" Replies.
Poster will then reply to one comment "I'll DM you hun"
No, don't be DMing any huns, just bloody tell us!!!

I don't mind seeing the family posts and stuff because I don't think that's showing off or wanting to get attention.
The ones that really piss me off are people that go to the gym and constantly post pics of them in loads of different positions to show how toned they are. We get it. You look great.

That's from the perspective of someone who has a family (I assume?) I would be far more likely to see posting pictures of family as showing off than gym pictures. I go to the gym/do active hobbies a lot and am slim and toned, yes. Because I don't have a family so I have the time to do that. It's something to do in place of a family, not something that's worth showing off about. I don't think happy, fulfilled, busy people spend all their time at the gym or on hobbies. They spend it with their families.

I don't think either are showing off personally because everyone has different lives. But 'showing off' your wonderful partner and perfect children can be just as much 'showing off' as 'showing off' your muscles and gym body is. It's a different (and arguably much more worthwhile) achievement.

But that's what Facebook is for! Entirely to post and read updates. It's like saying you're sick of seeing people's videos on YouTube.

I don't begrudge positive attention per se but the constant need for validation by posting frequently. Maybe it's me getting older, I don't know, but if I find it so irritating

As well as taking up a lot of time at whatever social occasion to actually take the photos it must takes to go through them and upload them all. Wouldn't people rther do something more interesting?

Yes but the frequency of posts not just updating us every so often. With the YouTube analogy, if we all watched too many you tube videos, wouldn't we all get fed up with it 🤷🏼‍♀️

The absolute worst are the virtue signalling poseurs. I know two people who are constantly on social media posting about poverty and homelessness and human rights, etc. But it's fake outrage. It's just a way of getting attention and praise. In person, both these people are utterly horrible, with very little empathy or compassion. Neither would lift a finger to help an actual flesh and blood human. For example, one of them lives near a sweet old guy whose partner died during Covid. Not once has she been round to see him. It wouldn't even occur to her to invite him over at Christmas or offer to cook him a meal. After all, nobody would know! And nobody is going to upvote her for helping him. So why bother?

I have very little interest in people's political opinions. What counts is how they treat the real, living, breathing humans in front of them.

I can't say much of your list would bother me. Facebook is for sharing news and photos relating to your life, so social events, holiday snaps, appropriate kid updates, pets seem fine to me. I also have people who exclusively share photos relating to their hobby (good and bad events - successes and failures), or just share memes, jokes and news articles they think are important. All of which is fine in my book.

I do wonder about people who post to "check in" to places like hospitals, vague-booking, happy 135th birthday to my dear, departed great grandmother type posts though. I won't follow anyone who shares anything personal or embarrassing about their kids when they don't get a say in it, or people who air their dirty linen in public. They're the attention seekers!

YABU OP, my Facebook attention seeker keeps me going. Constant stealth boasts about her house, car, dc, husband (#itsnoteasybeingmarriedtoasurgeon), lots of fabricated jobs that she has (librarian, firewoman, police constable all at the same time whilst being a SAHP .
Regular announcements of "right that's it, I'm doing a cull so if you wake up tomorrow and don't see my posts then you haven't made the cut!"
Announcements of world famous institutions phoning her to invite her to be a student, eg Cambridge, Harvard etc 🤣.
Severe case of martyr syndrome and obscure illnesses, but " nothing will stop me being the best mumma, even though I have to crawl some days". She once did a "feeling lonely" status and of course everyone asked what was wrong and she replied that she was inside a MRI scanner.
Staged selfies but then writes that she hates selfies but just wanted to ask if her eyebrows were even.

Despite seemingly having a good life I think she must be very insecure.

Oh. I should clarify, I despise the tagging in at hospital or the cryptic "ask me questions" posts.

Bloody attention seekers

On the birthday note, I remember someone who used to do a "Happy 2014th Birthday Jesus, I think you and I have a lot in common and would have been good friends xxx". The weird thing was that she wasn't even remotely religious.

Totally agree.

The worst types are those who post pictures of their face all the time. I have a mum "friend" who does it at least weekly, just random shots of her made up face. She's a pretty girl and I'm not jealous in the slightest. I just find it repulsive how attention seeking it is.

I can't delete her yet as our paths still cross but will do once they dont!

Ha well this would certainly keep me entertained too! Although are they actually ok? I have a Facebook friend who is a conspiracy theorist. Posts all sorts of fabricated nonsense-from government produced cloud formations to elaborate covid conspiracies. Myself and DH do enjoy reading this nonsense together!