Social media attention seekers

[circumnavigater]

I know this is probably contentious, but does anyone else get fed up of friends that frequently feel the need to update/show off on social media?

I'm at an age where most Facebook friends don't really bother with it all-maybe an occasional post every so often, that's absolutely fine, I like seeing the updates. But there's a few people I know who literally post weekly, if not more. Child's birthday (fine), amazing family holiday and how lucky they are, child's first haircut, baby started weaning, baby's new shoes, child had covid, house move, anniversary, mothers day, Father's Day, trip to the park, Ukraine war, end of maternity leave, Halloween pics, meal at the pub, family BBQ.... you name it, it's posted. I mean, surely to post so often, it's just blatant attention seeking? What is the psychology behind this? Are they really that insecure they require validation from others on a weekly basis? In their 30s? I have a child and I'm immensely proud but don't feel the need to post so frequently.

This is just a rant really, I need to get it off my chest, please don't tear me to shreds!!! Yes I know I can mute and I do!!!

I don’t mind if people want to share a lot on social media. I really can’t get worked up about it.

Still posting on MN though....

I think some people could be a bit lonely and use it for company. Some people like to share memories on there too to look back on. They share things with their Facebook friends as they believe they'd be interested in their child's first haircut etc.

I don't post loads myself but I'm not bothered if other people do. I think Facebook & Instagram sole purpose is to share things.

After all, nobody HAS to be on Facebook

I wouldn't say mumsnet is the same as Facebook though

I find it all utterly pathetic. I have fb friends who treat it it like a blog. They go to a restaurant, take photos of most courses, drinks, a selfie and then post it like "fab meal at so and so x" like they are posting to people who actually give a fuck. And the whole "my team" type posts of the kids who've all been lined up for a photo. It's just so so odd.

Totally agree @eyeroller1.

As the late, great Sir Terry Pratchett said

"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind"

Im not talking about like the odd post btw. I'm talking like every 2/3 days form the above

Facebook is the absolute worst for attention seekers. Just unfollow or delete them.

Is it bragging? Of your list in the OP, with the exception of an amazing holiday and how lucky they are, none of those events appear to be bragging. So what’s wrong with liking attention? We’ve evolved to thrive on it and wouldn’t have survived without the ability to garner it. Why do we see it as a negative characteristic?

Yes, that grinds my gears too, and also when it's their husband or whoever who isn't even on Facebook. So "happy birthday to my lovely husband, Matt" and you get a load of photos of Matt, then a load of the wife's FB friends going "Aaah, happy Birthday, Matt!" "Enjoy ,Matt!" Matt isn't even reading the bloody thing!

I don't mind photos of friend's children and days out. The absolute worst are those who post pics and updates from hospital. Particularly awful are the photos of a cannula in the arm, I cringe for them

That’s the whole point of social media. Don’t be part of it if it annoys you

Unless the wife, who is most likely with Matt that day shows him the phone so he can see people have wished him a happy birthday, it’s not like they are saying it to a dog that can’t understand or read. What’s so wrong with people displaying love for someone on their birthday?

The “Happy Birthday baby Oliver!” posts aren’t intended to be to Oliver. The birthday wisher knows it, Oliver’s parents know it, the audience knows it. It’s social grooming: it’s basically saying “hi friend, I’m acknowledging something special and important to you to show that I care, remind you that I’m in your life, and cement our friendship.” It’s has social value.

It’s much like, if you come on to MN on Mother’s Day, you’ll read dozens of posts from sad MNers who didn’t get a card or present from their newborn baby. The MNer is sad not because she genuinely thought her newborn was going to rolly-poly down the street to the shops itself, but because her OH has failed to acknowledge her. There’s no objective point in a card from a newborn baby because everyone knows the baby didn’t send it; it’s the other relationships that the card represents.

@ComtesseDeSpair

I don't think attention seeking has many positive connotations, maybe I'm wrong

Agreed. It's fine to brag on SM but not in real life. Weird really

I do find it weird. You have people posing on fb showing off cash or all their handbags but if anyone does that in real life it's not seen as an attractive trait. Perhaps it's different rules 😆

Posting weekly isn’t much.

It’s much like, if you come on to MN on Mother’s Day, you’ll read dozens of posts from sad MNers who didn’t get a card or present from their newborn baby. The MNer is sad not because she genuinely thought her newborn was going to rolly-poly down the street to the shops itself, but because her OH has failed to acknowledge her. There’s no objective point in a card from a newborn baby because everyone knows the baby didn’t send it; it’s the other relationships that the card represents.

Mums who haven't got a card are usually upset because they feel under appreciated or taken for granted because the father hasn't organised something. Not sure that's the same as wishing a baby (who doesn't care) a birthday message

I have a couple of FB friends who post constantly at any slight social occasion. I mean, drinks after work, watching a film either at home or in the cinema, meals out (a LOT Of meals out, not just for ospecial occasions), visiting their mum' shouse for a Sunday roast, all their mate's birthday drinks (and they always say "I have the best friends ever!"). They socialise constantlyl so it's constant posts, multiple each time a couple of timesa week. So many selfies. So many drinks on tables. About 30-50 photos at a time at one get together at a pub, for example. All very very similar. It is so boring to see because there is too much of it and far too often. Someone else is similar and posts multiple photos of their child doing one thing eg making pancakes. EVERY pancake day, dozens and dozens of photos. I don't know who would actually look at them all.

The thing I find most bizarre is that it must really eat into the enjoyment of the occasion itself, if you're constantly aiming a phone to take a photo, or telling people to pose for the camera. Especially kids - just let them enjoy themselves without stopping every minute to take photo that is barely any different to the one you just took of them.

What’s so wrong with people displaying love for someone on their birthday?

I guess that's the difference. I wouldn't see a public post from my DH as "displaying love" to me. But everyone's different.

I ttotally get that, but why not just post the photos and then write something like "Oliver had a great time at his birthday, can't believe he's one, the year has flown".

It's just so twee to write as if it's to the baby himself. I think that's really irks - the tweeness of it, not the sentiment.

But why does that affect you? Why haven't you unfollowed them if you find it so pathetic?

It’s the height of insecurity to record fun things you do for friends and family to look at if they want, scroll past/unfollow if they don’t? What an odd attitude.
It’s also not ‘showing off’. If they are your friends you presumably have a rough idea about their holidays etc? It’s just recording stuff.

I'm at an age, a little beyond where you are now, where I just deleted Facebook. Whatever their reasons, I was getting nothing from it. I created a second account just to be in my DC's school groups and check it a couple of times a month for updates. I can highly recommend this approach!

Do them a favour - unfollow and bow out if their lives. I’d hate to have friends who were so negative and critical. If I knew I’d probably ditch them. A friend, as I used to tell DD, Is someone who likes you.