Social media attention seekers

[circumnavigater]

I know this is probably contentious, but does anyone else get fed up of friends that frequently feel the need to update/show off on social media?

I'm at an age where most Facebook friends don't really bother with it all-maybe an occasional post every so often, that's absolutely fine, I like seeing the updates. But there's a few people I know who literally post weekly, if not more. Child's birthday (fine), amazing family holiday and how lucky they are, child's first haircut, baby started weaning, baby's new shoes, child had covid, house move, anniversary, mothers day, Father's Day, trip to the park, Ukraine war, end of maternity leave, Halloween pics, meal at the pub, family BBQ.... you name it, it's posted. I mean, surely to post so often, it's just blatant attention seeking? What is the psychology behind this? Are they really that insecure they require validation from others on a weekly basis? In their 30s? I have a child and I'm immensely proud but don't feel the need to post so frequently.

This is just a rant really, I need to get it off my chest, please don't tear me to shreds!!! Yes I know I can mute and I do!!!

I use FB and Instagram purely as pictorial diaries (I kept a real diary for years when I was younger), but rarely post more than once a week.

I only have real, actual friends on my FB so naturally I am always pleased to see them enjoying themselves and doing nice things. But that's probably because I am not insecure and am very content with my own life.

Everyone's different. I have friends on Facebook who never actually post anything then I have other friends who are on several times a day documenting each moment of each day "at Costa now with Jane" etc. I have friends who write very long and personal posts about their lives and their children's lives. I have have friends who are always clearly attention seeking with obscure posts hinting that something bad has happened to a chorus of "You alright hun?"
But I don't care - I think people can use social media however they want. Yes I do find certain things quite irritating but it's MY choice to go on there and read the posts. I can hardly complain - no one's forcing me to look at it all! If I don't like it I can read a book or whatever.

@circumnavigater yes she is a bit of a conspiracy theorist but only for the purposes of stealth boasting. Eg the LA had it "in for her" because her dc were too clever and were showing the teacher up and this meant that the teachers were all giving her the side eye. She would then attempt a very faux self depracating finish off like "it's not my fault I've been reading War and Peace to the dc since they were in utero and now I'm being made to pay the price!".

I do find it difficult when I see constant photos of holidays or nights out. Just hard to see as obviously many are struggling right now while for some, they don't have to worry about money and are loving life.
I also hate all the couple photos. If you're that happy you wouldn't feel the need to show off is what I always think.

The newsy type I'm fine with as I tend to do that and posts about my dog but the ones that annoy me are

the cryptic hospital check-ins
the self pitying mum martyrs
the scam facebook stuff, copy and paste etc
the lost dog in Australia, so sharing in Bristol is pointless ergo missing children
the win an RV because the draw has to be done again as Chantelle, who won, was only 17.

More recently gender stuff, a couple of posters who are fully paid up wokester

Of course a lot of is attention seeking. I just scroll past or mute them if it annoys me. I saw one the other week, women looking for a cleaner on the local fb page. Picture of her huge big house and sparkling big fancy Audi parked outside. God knows why she had to put a picture of her house. Why couldn’t she have just described the house without photo, number bedrooms and so on, like most folk do. I found it cringing.

My Sil does this - uses an animal charity to gain attention and people who don’t actually know her think she’s Mother Theresa. In real life she has no friends or family relationships as she’s too self absorbed.
Her and BIL also have arguments with each other, on FB, even though they’re probably sat on the couch together. She’s now in her fifties 🙄

I post holiday pics for my own benefit, I like it when they come up on memories. I don't do it for attention from anyone else.

MN is social media.
People post on MN (social media) to get attention.
OP posted here to get attention.
So... er...

That’s not attention seeking it’s just putting a journal online. The main attention seeker I know ours on hospital photos of a cannula, 5 different selfies a day with a shit ton of make up (we get it your young and pretty) so people say how pretty she looks. If she doesn’t feel she gets enough attention she then drags out the dead relative ‘how I miss you’.

Posting a pic of a family BBQ / baby’s new shoes/ having Covid. Hardly any of your examples are people showing off are they? They’re people using social media for what it’s designed for.

If you don’t want to use it that’s fine but if you do I don’t think you can dictate what others should do according to your made up rules.

And I don’t think it’s a sign of your maturity. Possibly the opposite as you’re still placing yourself at the centre of the universe

Exactly. What, then, should it be used for?

When I worked at a photo development store I saw "Baby's First Shit" pictures all the time. But that was nothing compared to a lot of the other stuff we'd see.

Right. Placing myself at the centre of the universe and lack of maturity. Big jump you made there. It's been nice listening to peoples views on this but not yours

It's the happy heavenly birthday ones that get me not sure how to break this to you but they don't do birthdays there

Exactly this attitude! It’s the attitude of ‘I would do this so everyone else is wrong/ attention seeker.’ They’re just different to you, not less grown up or wrong.

You implied I was immature and like to be the centre of the universe. Couldn't be further from the truth. And you accuse me of having an attitude...

It takes all sorts I suppose….. I use SM to promote my business and to keep in touch with my friends, and also to share things I’m passionate about or find amusing…..

Sometimes I wonder if I’m an attention seeker, but since my DP died in January it’s been useful to keep people updated about things - in the first place it was his sudden illness, then funeral arrangements and so on because I couldn’t keep up with everyone individually.

Now it serves the purpose of reminding myself I’m alive, I do have friends, and it reassures them that I’m not disappearing into a black hole of depression which is never far away. Sometimes I step away and can’t be arsed, sometimes I post alot.

Some of it is because I don’t have my DP to bounce off any more.

I try to avoid TMI and never post in a crisis or drama - I might do a factual update if something significant happens but it’s mainly if it affects my capacity to run my shop or means I’m not readily available such as spending the last three days sleeping off my third horrid virus in as many months.

And - shock horror - I do videos to promote my shop too.

It feels surreal, this brave new world in my 50s - as though I’m faking it till I make it?

It’s interesting to analyse though.

Errr, isn't that what social media is all about- otherwise it's just going to be a long stream of even more adverts??

You misunderstand. Placing yourself and your opinions as the centre of the universe. Judging others because they don’t follow your made up rules on a social media platform. Completely different to wanting to be the centre of the universe. It’s about lack of understanding that you’re not the yardstick by with others judge things

I really don't think I've placed my opinions at 'the centre of the universe'. How condescending. Yes I have an opinion just like you do. Maybe we should agree to disagree

Because SM a world of people who think that their lives mean nothing if there isnt a host of ticks and lovehearts next to everything they do.

Its insecurity, and its really quite sad. I can see a huge upsurge in people seeking therapy in a few years when they realise that life isnt just about instalikes but dont know how to accept the quiet normal validation that life gives if you only know where to look for it.

It makes me happy that my older kids think SM is for boring old farts and my younger ones are actually living life closer to how I did in the 70's and 80's and just use their phones for talking to people! I think I and they were both born just outside the "Golden Age" for SM use.

I became bored of Facebook a couple of years ago - I have about 300 friends on there but most of their posts are quite boring and I just felt obliged to like or comment.

Then I moved onto Instagram which is a nice, entertaining mix of friends, celebrities and influencers, depending on your taste. I really only check stories daily on there now though.

Then there's TikTok though, which is incredible. Hardly any friends on there but wow...if I didn't have the resolve I could spend literally hours on there!

Facebook got boring when people stopped doing this.

Now its full of ads and crap videos by people ive never heard of.

It was good when it became the digital equivalent of a phone call to your mum/sibling/old mate.

Finding out who from your school/home town/uni/old job is getting married,had baby, got a new job, going on holiday to borneo, emigrating to canada etc etc. We are all so busy nowadays and often living further from where we grew up, sometimes we miss that chattery news.

I like seeing that my old class mate has had a baby girl after 3 years of ivf. Im happy to share/donate to my uni friends fundraiser post for kids with cerebral palsy which i know his child has. I like seeing interesting holiday pics and hearing about good restaurants.

I don't actually post much myself though

But you're posting on here? 'Like people would actually give a ....'