To ask what you think of shy colleagues at work?

[shessoquiet]

I'm really shy, I can't help it and I try my absolute hardest to speak up more, but often times in certain work settings (like brain storms where we all are expected to just jump in and start saying ideas), I feel mute.

I often leave work feeling defeated, embarrassed and guilty. I'm a hard worker, but my shyness really lets me down.

If you have a shy colleague, AIBU to ask what you think about them? Please be honest, don't worry about offending me

I had a colleague like this. He was great at 80% of his job but his inability to verbalise - well anything really - did adversely affect the remaining 20%. He left last year and we made sure to recruit a replacement who is comfortable sharing their thoughts in a group situation and talking to the people they line manage. Our team works much better now.

But it really depends on your role. I have other colleagues who don't really interact much but they communicate by email as required so all is good.

I don't think anything as long as they're OK doing their job.

I suppose it depends on the severity of the shyness really

Did she join?
if so, how was she then?

I have a lovely shy colleague. Now that I have got to know her, I can see she is a hard worker and has a great sense of humour. I would never judge someone for being quiet, but if they didn't speak even if it was on a 1-2-1 basis, I think I would find that a bit rude. There is a big difference between shy and standoffish.

I'd think you were shy then I'd talk at you all day because I don't need a reply I just need a recipient for my inane chitchat 😉
Seriously though, I've been in the workforce 40 years and have met all sorts of people with different personalities and wouldn't think less of you for being shy, I'd talk to you as I would anyone else and certainly wouldn't judge you

I might think "I wish @shessoquiet would speak up sometimes, she has so much to offer here" but otherwise I reserve my judgment for the more obnoxious members of staff.

I would think too much hard work and just keep interactions to a minimum or work related.

Once a month or so I have to go to an office where I don't really know the staff and write up a report (not about them or their office, I should say). They are usually perfectly friendly to me, but the extravert staff members who shout and shriek across the open plan room to each other all the time drive me wild. I'm not able to complete the reports at home, so I have to plough on, constantly distracted by a couple of yelling about what they're cooking for supper that evening or where they're going for lunch. Give me the shy, quiet ones any day, then I can actually get on with some work.

I am the shy colleague. I find that we are more likeable and easier to get on with than our not so quiet colleagues! Drama is often caused by the loud opinionated ones.

You’re not exactly the most objective person on the score tbf!

I try to be kind and chatty to shy colleagues. I find shy people often warm up in friendly, low pressure 1-2-1 situations.

As a manager, I try to help my less confident or more socially anxious staff take baby steps towards putting themselves ‘out there’ and public speaking.

I have a lovely shy colleague who was terrified of presentations, so I got her to the stage where she would present one slide from my presentations. She built up slowly to doing her own. It was wonderful seeing her grow in confidence.

Shyness is often just a lack of confidence. It’s not a crime. I wouldn’t judge.

Did I hit a nerve? I actually get on better with more confident people but OP needed a confidence boost..

did I hit a nerve

😂

No. Pointing out someone’s objectivity or otherwise does not indicate being triggered!

So in your follow up are you now saying the reverse as in your original??