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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone else feel like they’ve lost a whole way of life since covid

139 replies

Barewithmenow · 21/11/2022 22:20

It feels like my kids have grown so much under my nose and have missed out on so many rites of passage. So many people I have lost touch with because my life has changed. So many things I just can’t be bothered with any more which I used to do pre covid (granted this is within my control but so much of it seems utterly pointless). So much else but does anyone else feel like they’ve lost so much since the pandemic that frankly won’t return. It feels like 2019 was a way of life we totally took for granted, it feels like covid has fundamentally changed the way most people live their lives. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Barewithmenow · 21/11/2022 22:21

I’m not saying it’s all bad or good but I just feel utterly sad at times at all the things that ended prematurely and all the things I (and my kids) have missed out on.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/11/2022 22:25

Yes. Mostly I can’t put my finger on it but I feel profoundly changed after the Pandemic.

I think I have lost my trust in the Universe. I am not religious but I have lost my blind faith. I don’t know how else to put it.

Abdolly · 21/11/2022 22:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

namechangeagain3 · 21/11/2022 22:31

Yes. I feel like I've lost my fun side and I'm more annoyed by little things. I also don't like being away from my home anymore. I love it when we are all indoors which I hated in Lockdown Confused

Hbh17 · 21/11/2022 22:33

Absolutely not. My life is exactly the same as pre-pandemic, and I think all my friends would say the same. There is no reason for it to change.

Essie274 · 21/11/2022 22:36

I agree re not being bothered to do things, and everything seeming pointless. For me, it was becoming a parent for the first time in late 2019, the pandemic, and now compounded by the current economic situation.

I used to socialise a lot, but now I feel like my capacity for that has massively reduced and a lot of the things I used to do for fun with friends just seem like too much effort and/or money. I blamed this on parenting for a while, but my friends without children also feel this way. The way I used to live/spend my money absolutely baffles me now. I now spend a lot more time at home, invite friends to my house more instead of meeting them out and just all-round care about how comfortable my home is much more than I ever did before.

I'm actually substantially happier in our life now, despite everything, but sometimes when I think back and realise how stark of a contrast my early 2019 life is to my late 2022 life it is mind-blowing.

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 21/11/2022 22:37

In some ways yes.

I hate peoples rudeness and lack of social cues. It's definitely worse!!

I like the cafe culture it's created in pubs and cafes

Hate what it's cost us financially as a country

Lost trust In politics

But it's taught me to enjoy small things and given me time to learn about things im interested in.

notdaddycool · 21/11/2022 22:43

Biggest change is work from home, it means I drop and collect my kids every day. They’ve been to after school club one this term against breakfast and after school club daily. The only downer is not cycling to work daily and getting a bit fat, but so happy for my kids, and that saves a good deal of cash too. Life is better.

Eleusa · 21/11/2022 22:43

My life is largely back to how it was, with a bit more WFH. If anything, I appreciate the freedom I have more than before.

Lemie · 21/11/2022 22:45

I feel like we're still in covid times.

Greenshake · 21/11/2022 22:47

Everything feels different. I am still 95% work from home, people are more anxious, we have pretty much rolled straight into the war in Ukraine and it’s winter again already 😐

UWhatNow · 21/11/2022 22:51

Actually my life is sooo much better wfh so no, I’m not mourning an old life commuting for hours in my own time and driving to pointless meetings that now happen seamlessly online.

A tranche of young people suffered greatly including my own dd who I was worried wasn’t going to make it through. But they survived and life goes on. As did many generations before them who suffered certain hardships.

What is it exactly you want back?

Coolc · 21/11/2022 22:53

Yes. I miss the office. Everyone works at home now and while that is good in some ways, it is sad that the office way of life is no more.

Penguinsaregreat · 21/11/2022 22:54

Not really. I would say the main thing is I don’t feel obliged to go to things. I’m quite happy to stay in and I always have been. The pandemic has given me permission to say no to things.

FantaFour · 21/11/2022 22:55

UWhatNow · 21/11/2022 22:51

Actually my life is sooo much better wfh so no, I’m not mourning an old life commuting for hours in my own time and driving to pointless meetings that now happen seamlessly online.

A tranche of young people suffered greatly including my own dd who I was worried wasn’t going to make it through. But they survived and life goes on. As did many generations before them who suffered certain hardships.

What is it exactly you want back?

I feel the same. In fact almost everyone I know have just picked up and carried on with life. I find this whole dramatics about how life was severely affected a bit ott. I think some people just want to be stuck in that whole woe is me mentality too.

Penguinsaregreat · 21/11/2022 22:56

I would say my boss is pushing for the return to face to face meetings which we all hate. Lord knows why she us pushing for this when we all prefer remote meetings.

TinySaltLick · 21/11/2022 22:57

To be honest I think things are better than ever - so many improvements in work life balance, a greater focus on health and wellbeing.

Sure the economy is absolutely in the toilet but I feel a period of lock down has given people a new found appreciation of the little things we took for granted.

MichaelAndEagle · 21/11/2022 22:58

Coolc · 21/11/2022 22:53

Yes. I miss the office. Everyone works at home now and while that is good in some ways, it is sad that the office way of life is no more.

We still have office life - NHS.
If you miss it you could probably still find it elsewhere. I prefer being in the office, I like company and the collaboration you get.

The2Omicronnies · 21/11/2022 23:01

AnyFucker · 21/11/2022 22:25

Yes. Mostly I can’t put my finger on it but I feel profoundly changed after the Pandemic.

I think I have lost my trust in the Universe. I am not religious but I have lost my blind faith. I don’t know how else to put it.

This perfectly sums up how I feel too. My life has mostly returned to normal, but it feels like it could all be snatched away again at the drop of a hat. It feels like lots of people are content to go out less, so opportunities for fun are fewer than they used to be.

Cost of living hasn’t helped either. I feel a deep sense of guilt making car journeys, preparing food that requires the oven to be on for longer periods of time etc. I just don’t feel as carefree anymore.

Testina · 21/11/2022 23:01

“feels like covid has fundamentally changed the way most people live their lives”

I can’t tell you how you feel, but among my friends and family “most” would be way off. Some have had big changes - lost jobs. But most are back to normal.

Just how many rites of passage can you miss in 18 months? There are particular ages that I think missed more than other… the 16 and 18 year olds had it hard I think for missed events. But it’s still just a small period. That sounds like you’re dwelling on a small number of missed things.

I don’t really understand the growing under your nose comment - they would have anyway!

Soproudoflionesses · 21/11/2022 23:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

Me too.

Would far rather stay indoors now - l find myself looking for reasons to not go out whereas before covid l loved a night out.

ZenNudist · 21/11/2022 23:08

It's all back to normal now but got to deal with hybrid working and how thats going to work long term.

I was looking at stickers on the floors outside nandos designed for social distancing today and thinking how it's a relic of yesteryear, and how we were so OC about sterilising hands to touch the screen in the leisure centre. No one bothers now.

JudyGemston · 21/11/2022 23:11

If that’s your experience it’s not for me to say YABU but it’s definitely not mine. The pandemic brought so much disruption and grief to my life but if anything it has made me more grateful and determined to nurture my important relationships and make the most of time I do have. My life has returned to normal in so many ways and I sometimes find myself falling back into the habit of canceling plans with friends or put off calling my dad because I’m too busy but then I remember the people I lost and what I would give for a little more time with them and I make the extra effort.

I will admit that I am very very lucky to have kept my job this whole time and managed to avoid getting Covid myself (or it I did it was asymptomatic.). If I was struggling for money or living with long Covid I’m sure my life would be very different.

strawberrydress · 21/11/2022 23:17

Coolc · 21/11/2022 22:53

Yes. I miss the office. Everyone works at home now and while that is good in some ways, it is sad that the office way of life is no more.

I miss this too!

I mentioned it to a colleague and she asked why I don’t just go into the office more. But it’s really not the same now, there are never more than 20% of people in the office at one time. It isn’t buzzy at all, it’s like working in a library.

A PP mentioned the NHS as an option if trying to find old style office culture…I may need to look into that.

greeandorange · 21/11/2022 23:21

I read something the other day that helped.

It was along the lines of "instead of picking up pieces of the past and trying to make them fit today.. make new pieces"

I wish I could find what it was exactly, but It was a bit of a wake up call.. i have been so busy looking back at "before" I be been loosing the opportunity to build a new life, I've been trying to fit back into old patterns and routines and they don't work fit me anymore.

I can't go back to what I had which was a carefree healthy life, my health is awful now, family lost and changed.

But I can start to build something new.